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Slava Malamud Profile picture
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5 Nov, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Help me out here. Do sports journalists (and I am, by all indicators, a spectacularly good one) have to know every single shitty sports-adjacent blog out there?
I've interviewed George Foreman, Chuck Norris, Usain Bolt, Carl Lewis, Joe Frazier, Michael Phelps, David Beckham and countless more obscure sports stars such as hockey players. I've worked 4 Olympics. Written huge features. Why do I need to know some stupid TikTok or whatever?
How would some moron's blog help me in reporting from World Championships, Super Bowls, NHL and NBA drafts and Mike Tyson's HOF induction? How would it make my life and work richer, more informed and more rewarding?
What could some asshole's discourse on bar furniture do for me?
I've never read this guy's blog or seen his Vine or whatever it is he has that has people talking. Never will, either. He sounds like a major douche. I sincerely doubt he knows more about sports than I do or has any insights I don't. Fuck him. He isn't even a real journalist.

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More from @SlavaMalamud

Slava Malamud Profile picture
16 Oct
OK, now that you ask.
Here is the kind of community food shortages and bread lines fostered. I hope you don't mind your answer to be delivered via a profanity-laced thread, making it itself a rather accurate avatar of a Soviet bread line...
Some of my earliest memories are of standing in lines. Lines for everything: dairy, produce, socks, school supplies, alcohol (dad had few compunctions about tagging a 3-year-old along when grabbing a brew), lines to return fucking glass bottles for a fucking 10-kopeck refund...
Everything in my town was within walking distance, but when going out to buy anything, you always had to assume you wouldn't be back by nightfall. Lines easily ate up most of your day. Lines were exhausting and dehumanizing. But boy, did they fucking build communities...
Read 16 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
15 Oct
While blue states engage in independent map-making, which makes them more purple, red states are busy hyper-gerrymandering, making themselves blood-crimson.
This is what happens when only one party is interested in democracy, while the other is interested in power at all costs.
And, seriously, I have no idea how partisan gerrymandering can still exist in a country in the XXI century without said country being duly laughed out of the worldwide democratic community.
It's utterly insane that this is still allowed to happen in America.
Of course, I'm getting snarky replies with maps of Illinois and Massachusetts (strangely, not of Maryland, which is gerrymandered more than anything), as if the point is that Dems NEVER do it.
The point is that Dems are the only ones doing the opposite.
Read 4 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
9 Oct
Among USA's many contradictions, I can't think of any greater than these:
1) a country founded on the idea that all men are created equal is obsessed with preserving inherited racial and wealth inequality,
2) a country founded by illegal immigrants is obsessed with building walls
Also, what is this obsession with birth? What makes being born in America so special? It's not an achievement, it's not a testament to your character. Any idiot has the ability to be born, and the location of your mother's vagina is as meaningless a factoid as can be imagined.
I think it is a VERY racist practice. It replaces the racism of skin color with the racism of birthplace.
People have no control over either and should not, MUST NOT ever be discriminated on either basis.
Read 4 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
1 Oct
So, today, I finally had that dreaded talk with my 12-year-old that most fathers don't really want to have. I had to. He cornered me and asked questions I couldn't avoid.
Today, my son and I had an earnest, honest and difficult conversation about how fucking insane religion is.
We have talked about how Christians have a cannibalistic ritual during which they imagine they are consuming a 2000-year-old corpse, and how weird, creepy and nonsensical all of it is.
How none of them can ever satisfactorily explain how and why it happens or why it's not bonkers
We have talked about how Jews have interpreted an ancient and weirdly specific prohibition on boiling a goat in his mother's milk as a law against keeping meat and dairy in the same fridge, because who the fuck even knows, this is how insane it is...
Read 8 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
29 Sep
An extremely shameful episode that gives hockey and Ukraine a bad name. After an altercation with a Black US-born opponent, Deniskin imitated peeling and eating a banana. It was an elaborate, slowly acted gesture, not a spur-of-the-moment thing.
Just disgusting.
Deniskin then made it worse (if at all possible) by issuing a non-apology along the lines of "if anyone was offended" and blaming "hockey emotions."
This is the kind of stuff hockey must stop immediately, especially in Eastern Europe, where it happens all the time.
Years ago (mid 2000s, to be precise) there was a debate in Russia about bananas being thrown at Black soccer players. A debate! Many journalists, respected ones, argued that it's a case of Black people being whiny and too sensitive.
"How is this racism? Bananas are delicious!"
Read 7 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
6 Sep
Every single "both sides" story, every single Ohio diner feature, the entire idea of listening to Trumpers and asking their opinions is ENTIRELY predicated on the notion that dumbass white people are uniquely entitled to have their voices heard because they are "real America."
For some inexplicable reason, nobody ever comes to ask me shit, to find out what Russian-born public school teachers in Baltimore think about the political climate. I am well-read and well-informed, I can speak in complete sentences.
But I must be fake America or something.
What is there to be heard from Trumpers that is still a mystery? We know why they vote for him. We know their guiding forces are hate, resentment and fear. Everyone knew this 5 years ago.
What matters is feeding that destructive and mendacious notion that they are "real America."
Read 10 tweets

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