Oh dear, a black dog day. Where did that come from?
Waves of self pitying loathing, questioning self worth ... how I've wasted my life, done nothing, achieved nothing ... time to go chop logs with force.
The slog of unpicking irrational thoughts with rational observations ...
Waves of self pitying loathing, questioning self worth ... how I've wasted my life, done nothing, achieved nothing ... time to go chop logs with force.
The slog of unpicking irrational thoughts with rational observations ...
... the same mechanism which drives my questioning that I find so useful in day to day life occassionally goes into an irrational overdrive for no reason I have ever been able to discern. I just calm myself with awareness that it is doing this and treat it as some form of reset.
The process of reset ... that mix of physical exercise, the use of quiet observation and reflection to challenge this emergent inner self that is the worst of conspiracy theorists ... a familiar path. For now ...
... I'll call a truce with it, crush it deep in my mind as I have other things to do. I'll let the dog bark in the distance of my mind but I know that I'll have to tackle it soon enough.
X : What are those discussions like?
Me : With myself? They are truly the most ridiculous, irrational and illogical discussions but at the same time bizarrely soothing in resolution. Not through reasoning but through observation. It's difficult to explain, I'll try ...
Me : With myself? They are truly the most ridiculous, irrational and illogical discussions but at the same time bizarrely soothing in resolution. Not through reasoning but through observation. It's difficult to explain, I'll try ...
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