Oh dear, a black dog day. Where did that come from?
Waves of self pitying loathing, questioning self worth ... how I've wasted my life, done nothing, achieved nothing ... time to go chop logs with force.
The slog of unpicking irrational thoughts with rational observations ...
... the same mechanism which drives my questioning that I find so useful in day to day life occassionally goes into an irrational overdrive for no reason I have ever been able to discern. I just calm myself with awareness that it is doing this and treat it as some form of reset.
The process of reset ... that mix of physical exercise, the use of quiet observation and reflection to challenge this emergent inner self that is the worst of conspiracy theorists ... a familiar path. For now ...
... I'll call a truce with it, crush it deep in my mind as I have other things to do. I'll let the dog bark in the distance of my mind but I know that I'll have to tackle it soon enough.
X : What are those discussions like?
Me : With myself? They are truly the most ridiculous, irrational and illogical discussions but at the same time bizarrely soothing in resolution. Not through reasoning but through observation. It's difficult to explain, I'll try ...
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China's Baidu is Now the World's Largest Robotaxi Operator After Completing 115,000 Fully-Autonomous Rides in Q3 - futurecar.com/5008/Chinas-Ba…
Meanwhile in the UK -> HS2 rail extension to Leeds scrapped amid promise to transform rail - bbc.co.uk/news/business-…
X : I don't get the connection?
Me : China has 38k+ km of high speed rail in operation (with 37k km in construction) at speeds of upto 350 km/h ... we are ... behind, even on a per capita basis.
See also AI, Space, Robotics, Genetics ... long list.
X : Have you heard what is happening in cricket?
Me : Riddled with racism?
X : Yes
Me : ... and sexism, homophobia, islamaphobia, nationalism?
X : ...
Me : I don't have any interest in watching private schoolboys pretending they are superior to everyone. They should just ban it.
We already have a national sport in football, one that we can be proud of where people stand up for what is right and take the knee when it matters.
X : You don't like cricket?
Me : English cricket? No. I don't like it.
X : Rugby?
Me : It's less class ridden than it used to be which means you get a better quality of supporter and player.
X : You really don't like private schools?
Me : I find them offensive.
X : Did you see ...
Me : ... is this a COP26 thing?
X : Yes.
Me : I don't worry about climate change.
X : Do nothing?
Me : Quite the opposite. I think we should be having those discussions on who we can save.
X : You've lost me.
Me : My 2013 post - blog.gardeviance.org/2013/04/why-i-…
X : You don't think the 1.5 degree ...
Me : ... no hope. There will be lots of nice words, as Greta said - "blah, blah, blah" ... but we're not going to take the actions we need, we're not even going to discuss limiting consumption. I'd rather discuss future plans, who to save.
X : I suppose you have views on that?
Me : Of course, we need some form of lottery system but we also need to exclude the wealthiest 1% ... they caused most of the problems, we need to cut off their escape routes.
X : That'll never happen.
Me : Not in the West. But China might.
X : What is going to happen with serverless? Is it a fad?
Me : Does this help?
X : I'm not sure I follow.
Me : You can't read the table or you don't want to?
X : Be helpful.
Me : Hmmm. Ok, serverless started in 2014, so today is +7 years. Let us pick a time in the future, say 2035 which is +21 years.
X : And?
Me : Now, let us look at cloud ...
Me : For cloud, +7 years was 2013, +21 years would be 2027 since cloud started in 2006. If you ask people today will cloud dominate in 2027, everyone will pretty much say "yes" except the hard core laggards. It already exceeds data centre spend and is growing faster ...
Consuming 15kWh to 22kWh per day but generating around 9 to 14kWh ... so, my worst day this week was actually 9kWh from the grid but all overnight (econ 7). Need to get that consumption down. If I double the array over the next two years, I should get self generation into Nov.
Need to do some more work on insulation and change out the electric boiler for a more efficient form. Also, my new vegetable garden should be up and running soon for planting. I did look at buying some local farmland which came up for auction ... alas 14.3 acres was a bit much.
When I say a bit much, the rest of the family was not convinced by my argument ... stilll, there is so much to be done - roof extension, externsion at the back of the home, new more efficient bathrooms, kitchen refit (to be worked out), boiler with air heat exchanger etc.