I swear, @Quinnypiglet has some quotable moments. Some examples in a holiday thread...
@Quinnypiglet To Ethel, our "dog":

"Sit down, you rude bastard." Harsh, but fair.
@Quinnypiglet "Daddy, close your damn mouth, stop talking, and eat."

Honestly, everyone says this sooner or later.
@Quinnypiglet Me: "Don't hurt me!"
Dana: "I'm not hurting you, stop crying."

I should probably talk to someone about this.
@Quinnypiglet Me: "What are you doing to my head?"
Dana: "Covering it so nothing hears you talk."

She's doing God's work, really.
@Quinnypiglet Uh... shoes go on *before* pants, kid.

"Oh. I forgot that. Well fuck."
@Quinnypiglet "Mommy wants to listen to me run and scream because she's nuts."

Yes, @bequinning is, and no she most definitely does not.
@Quinnypiglet @bequinning This concludes the test of my newly-revamped "Last Tweet in AWS" shitposting Twitter client. More to come on this later; thanks for being my test subjects.

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More from @QuinnyPig

23 Nov
It'd be rude of me not to test out @_msw_ and company's fine work.

A thread.
Had to add a route table to the subnet that spoke ipv6. Had to also force traffic over @tailscale since @sonic doesn't offer ipv6 natively without tunneling yet, but then it "Just worked" since the emergence node has ipv6 on it. I'm in!
Let's start with security and update the thing. apt says "working" but it's been a suspiciously long time for that to be, y'know. Accurate.
Read 11 tweets
6 Nov
I need a Twitter plane game to play since it's no longer working hours. (Fun fact! On this Seattle --> SFO flight I once read and reviewed @RealGeneKim's entire "Unicorn Project" manuscript before landing.)

Game: name a company and I'll assign them a more appropriate motto.
"We named our company after the most expensive city in the US because we don't do subtle."
When your snack cupboard has its own loading dock.
Read 85 tweets
2 Nov
Hey @jesse_derose we should do a Twitter Spaces about what it means to be a Cloud Economist.

After all...
I am the very model of a modern Cloud Economist
I’ve seen pricing stored in CSV, Parquet and in a JSON list
I’ve walked the booths of re:Invent, and I know services historical
From SQS to EKS, RDS including Oracle
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters more contractual,
Both PPAs and EDPs, multi-cloud and all-in fanatical
About data transfer pricing I'm spitting figures fast and furious,
Hmmm... furious... furious... Aha!
While cross-AZ is bad enough, managed NAT Gateways are usurious
Read 5 tweets
2 Nov
So a less-snarky thread about why you should consider working at The @DuckbillGroup as a Cloud Economist.

Because if you fit the role, you definitely have other options...

First and most key: we want people to succeed here. That means we act like it, starting with the interview. We don't play games – we interview for strengths rather than the absence of weaknesses. aka "nobody will beat you up about things you're not great at."
If you're working more than 40 hours it's a rarity and we should do something about it. We're fixing AWS bills, not SOME NONSENSE HERE. You aren't your job.

Most of us are parents ourselves; absolutely nothing we do here is more important than our lives.
Read 16 tweets
2 Nov
In order to help hire some of you (sales and cloud economics roles currently open!), it's me: the Worst Employee as imagined by your company's HR department and resulting policies.
I'm just the right blend of malicious idiot that I should be walked out as soon as I resign; I clearly didn't think to steal any company data BEFORE I resigned.
I'm simultaneously trusted with root in production and not $20 of company money.
Read 9 tweets
27 Oct
Hello, and welcome to our company's oh-so-very-shitty Security Awareness Training. I'm Chief Cloud Economist Corey Quinn of the Duckbill Group, and I'll be delivering this training for you because I was absolutely NOT the lowest bidder for a change.
The whole point of security awareness is to protect company information. That's what they say, anyway. Here in reality we're going to reference back to the things I spew at you rapid fire and blame you for our institutional shortcomings once we get breached.
Confidentiality is important. Assume that people will read what you write. I know, it's a heavy lift for some of you who haven't figured out that the failure mode of "clever on Twitter" is "being a huge asshole," but pretend it'll be read.
Read 33 tweets

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