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The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
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5 Dec, 4 tweets, 1 min read
My three wide receivers have a combined -.10 points.

This is not helping my fantasy team.
Is Jimmy Garoppolo aware you’re allowed to throw to wide receivers?

Someone please tell him. Please. Tell him. Someone. Please.
Hi, if you know anyone associated with the Seattle Seahawks, would you mind texting them at halftime to let them know it is now legal in the NFL to cover tight ends?

They appear unaware of this.
Hi, while you’re at it, could your also mention to Russell Wilson that while DK Metcalf is very good, he is under 20-feet tall, so the pass needs to be less than 5 yards out of bounds.

Cool. Great. Thanks.

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More from @TheRealHoarse

The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
5 Dec
I could not possibly be more tired of the endless whining of people alleging they speak for rural voters.

Grow the fuck up.

For people who swear they are against entitlements, they feel endlessly entitled to having their fragile balls polished.
Seriously, the media has an absolute obsession with “vulnerable rural voters” and “midwestern swing voters”.

They are the most over-covered demographic in the history of politics on earth.
Maybe, just maybe, the media’s endless insistence that we must hang on every word of midwestern diner folk is actually perpetuating a problem rather than illuminating it.

Maybe the media’s endless repetition of tired tropes about overlooked rural voters actually further them.
Read 5 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
2 Dec
One programming note:

I’m going to be making a bit of a change in my engagement style on here.

I’m going to tone down the sharpness of my interactions with people who reply to my posts.

1/
When I first joined Twitter, I had a very specific logic for replying harshly to some posts and some of the comments under mine.

1) Ripping Trump and Repubs punctured the facade that they were widely popular and liked.

2/
When I joined, we were outnumbered on here and too quiet.

There weren’t a lot of people willing to verbally punch a prominent right-winger in the mouth on here knowing at it would rile an angry, scary mob.

I am blessed with not giving a fuck about that. So, I punched away.

3/
Read 17 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
27 Nov
There is this weird phenomenon on Twitter where people say crappy things to you while telling you how much they like following you.

If you enjoy following someone, you’re getting something out of their content.

If you are rude or annoying in replies, they can’t say the same.
1/
There’s this weird thing where some of the people who tell you how much they like you seem to think they’re giving you a gift or something.

Like it should indebt you to them and somehow obligates you to like them back no matter how they talk to you.

2/
I’m not running for mayor. I’m not hoping to have everyone’s vote next November.

I’m on here because I have things to say. If people get value out of hearing them, whether they agree or not, awesome.

3/
Read 5 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
27 Nov
Thanksgiving weekend. 37 degrees. Families out for cider and donuts driving by with Christmas trees on the roof.

And these Q-balls are out yelling crazy nonsense.

There is no rehabbing this level of ignorant nutbaggery.
Dude, your kids are in their 40s.
Actually, it ends when you sit the fuck down.
Read 10 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
25 Nov
Green beans are not improved by preparation as a casserole.

#ThanksgivingHotTakes
People who put marshmallows on yams just want cover to eat marshmallows.

#ThanksgivingHotTakes
People who don’t like stuffing can never be fully trusted.

#ThanksgivingHotTakes
Read 5 tweets
The Hoarse Whisperer Profile picture
24 Nov
I really can’t spend the next year arguing with people who are somehow AGAINST pushing for better communications from Dems.

So, I’m just going to block anyone peddling stupidity about how sucking at communications is somehow fine, necessary, unimportant or unfixable.
Seriously, I mostly hate Twitter lately.

Before Trump was elected, all of my existential screaming at the movie screen while the people in the horror movie couldn’t hear me happened off Twitter.

I didn’t join Twitter until the election.
It sucked the absolute life out of me.

As someone who understood his narcissistic personality disorder from the jump, that helpless screaming into the wind sucked the absolute life out of me.

The triggering of Trump’s narcissism was PTSDish enough.
Read 14 tweets

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