Thread by @stevemagness

You don't push prodigies. They CHOOSE to do it.

I ran 100+ miles a week as a teen. My parents thought I was crazy. I wanted to. In some ways, I needed to.

Phenoms often have what's called a rage to master

A few thoughts on @DavidEpstein great piece 👇🧵
davidepstein.bulletin.com/even-tiger-and…

Where does this rage to master come from?

It captures you. Interest + Talent align at the right time.

It has to come from an internal motivator. External does not sustain it. It's more like play, where you spend hours doing the thing because time floats by as you are enamored.

If you, as the parent, push the kid to do it, it extinguishes the flame.

It shifts the primary driver from 'play' and curious exploration to external performance type drivers. You've shifted from exploring to searching and seeking mode.

I like to think of it as: you have to dabble and explore, and maybe you'll get lucky and get captured. You can't force it.

As a parent, you just support and give the child the environment and opportunities to explore.

One more thing on the rage to master...I mentioned timing. To understand this, how about a story.

When I was in 5th grade, I just missed the Haude Elementary School record in the mile for the PE fitness test.

I was bummed. I ran really hard, until I nearly passed out.

The PE teacher saw I was upset and told me that I could try again in a few weeks if I wanted to. I perked up, told my parents I'd have another shot.

My dad and the PE teacher suggested training. A foreign concept at that time. I was a soccer player, not a runner at that point.

I agreed to train. My dad drove me to the track that evening. I did what any sensible person would do in trying to train. I decided I should run a mile all out, every day, to get better.

On day one of 'practice', I ran an all-out mile at the track. It sucked. It was horrible.

I turned to my dad, "Running sucks. That was painful. I don't want to do this. I'm sticking with soccer."

I quit. I didn't attempt day 2 of practice. I would not go after the Haude elementary school record.

My dad shrugged and said, that's fine. I continued to play soccer.

Fast forward to 9th grade, and the first day of official HS cross-country practice, I ran 9 miles, threw up, and walked the last mile back to where we met up.

I loved it. I was hooked. I quit soccer. Soon I'd be running 8+ miles a day. Before I left HS, it was 15.

The point is... You never know when talent and interest will collide.

You can't force it. You just have to keep dabbling, keep exploring, and keep open to the idea that something might capture you. Then, you can go deep on that.

But it's got to be your choice. Not mom or dads.

So parents...get out of your kid's way.

Stop trying to 'engineer' greatness. It will most likely fail. Allow them to explore. Let them fail. Let them quit. Let them go a little nuts if they find something that catches them.