Most transphobic cis people knew that detransitioning didn't make me cis, but that wasn't the point. They knew I wasn't like them, they knew I was different, had dysphoria and so on. Being detransitioned meant I was a trans person brought under control and therefore "safe".
Being detrans meant I was a "de-fanged" trans person, they managed to get inside my head and "tame" me. For many transphobes, detransition is about controlling trans people. Part of the attraction is dominating someone who is different from them in ways that scare & disgust them.
Many transphobic cis people enjoy being cruel to trans people and it doesn't stop if we detransition. Detransitioned trans people are still seen as defective members of our assigned sex. Transphobes make it clear that you will never be as good as them, you'll never be equal.
I never felt like I could take for granted that I would be treated well by transphobic feminists and lesbians who were supposed to be my "sisters". I spent so much time as a detrans radical feminist trying to convince other rad fems that I was their equal and often failing.
My job as a detrans radical feminist was to show that being a trans person under the influence of transphobic radical feminism, being a "lesbian living with gender dysphoria" was better than being a trans person living free. I never held the same status as a cis lesbian.
But of course, indoctrinating yourself into a transphobic ideology is not a good way to live as a trans person! They really have to play games with your head to keep you under control. Lots of rewards and punishment, lots of manipulation but no real freedom or happiness.
Not only do anti-trans conversion practices not work but detransitioning doesn't actually prevent a trans person from experiencing transphobia or give us the same status as a cis person. You end up navigating another kind of transphobia, a more insidious kind.
Ideological detransition is about being trained to accept a subordinate status under the control of transphobic cis people and being rewarded for making transphobic people feel better, working for their pleasure instead of working for ourselves and other trans people.
Transphobic cis people want to control and use trans people's power. Ideological detransition and anti-trans conversion practices are a form of resource extraction, a way for cis people to feed off of trans people. They fear our strength and want to dominate and degrade us.
Anti-trans conversion practices and ideological detransition are forms of abuse and the abuse never stops. Transphobic cis people know we're not like them and can't be like them and the point of trying change us is just about convincing us to accept their abuse and control.
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I spent years basically being a "detrans influencer" creating propaganda to influence how transmasc and other afab trans people saw themselves, tried to encourage them not to transition or detransition and spreading transphobic feminist ideology and conversion practices.
There are online detrans groups that are intentionally trying to influence and recruit trans people. When I was a detrans rad fem, I went so far as to research social psychology to get inside people's heads better (which I now recognize as an incredibly fucked up thing to do).
But the cis people who are so concerned about people being influenced by social media & online trans communities don't care about how there are transphobic detrans groups that are intentionally trying influence trans people. That's because they approve of that kind of influence.
While I was still detrans, I started working through my own issues about transition and realized I'd been projecting onto trans people in ways that were harmful and dysfunctional. When I tried to talk about this publicly and take accountability, another detrans woman attacked me.
I made a video where I talked about how I realized I'd been projecting onto trans people and that this was harmful and rooted in my own personal problems. I apologized for causing harm. When I showed my video to the detrans lesbian I was dating at the time, she yelled at me.
I talked about how I had tried to influence transmasc people, tried to discourage them from transitioning, amd encourage them to "reconcile with being female" and how I now saw that as wrong, harmful & coming from my own unresolved issues. She found that part very threatening.
I recently found some emails from a therapist who reached out to me when I first started my old blog. They worked in trans health, thought there were too many AFAB people transitioning & wanted more psych screening. They wanted to use detrans people to argue for more gatekeeping.
I'd been detransitioning for under a year, not long enough to know if it was going work out for me in the long run, which it clearly didn't. I'd only been blogging for 2-3 months when this therapist contacted me. They never seemed to consider that I could change my mind again.
I detransitioned because I internalized a lot of transphobic ideas that ended up causing me a lot of suffering. A lot of what I said at the time I later ended up rejecting. Really I was a trans person about to make a lot of bad choices that I'm still recovering from.
There are whole online communities for transphobic parents like this where they give each other advice on how to do conversion practices on their trans child to get them to "desist". Some of these parents also protest clinics that help trans youth.
Obviously they have more control over youth who are under 18 but they also try to control adult children too and often complain about how their trans kid has "too much freedom" once they leave home, go to college, etc. Not surprisingly, a lot of their kids have cut them off.
These anti-trans parents want to shut down all access to medical transition and replace it with conversion "therapy". They work with conversion "therapists" and help start & support organizations like GENSPECT that promote anti-trans conversion "therapy" for trans youth.
TERFs are trying to sabotage the new @wpath SOC. WHRC is a hate group that calls for the elimination of "transgenderism" and trans civil rights and accuses trans women of being "dangerous perverts" and "parasites". Now they're attacking our bodily autonomy & access to healthcare.
I expect that @wpath is going to receive a lot of transphobic and transmisogynistic comments from TERF groups like WHRC & pro-conversion "therapy" groups like GENSPECT. This just another form of harassment, like the protests outside of clinics. It's a show of force/intimidation.
Anti-trans hate groups are mobilizing to eliminate our access to medical transition and healthcare. This isn't about "protecting women's rights" or "protecting children". This is cis people feeling entitled to control and dominate trans people, to erase us from society.
Since people are talking about anti-trans books being sold on @amazon, let me remind everyone that they are also selling a DIY conversion therapy manual for transphobic parents who want to force their trans child to "desist". reclaimingtrans.wordpress.com/2021/04/15/tel…
Here's thread I made about the book when it first came out, including screenshots. @amazon took the book down temporarily but later reinstated it.
@amazon also sells "Always Erin", an anti-trans "children's" book that tries to teach children that being trans is caused by trauma and "Transing Our Children" which is yet another book scaremongering about young trans people and "gender ideology".