Most transphobic cis people knew that detransitioning didn't make me cis, but that wasn't the point. They knew I wasn't like them, they knew I was different, had dysphoria and so on. Being detransitioned meant I was a trans person brought under control and therefore "safe".
Being detrans meant I was a "de-fanged" trans person, they managed to get inside my head and "tame" me. For many transphobes, detransition is about controlling trans people. Part of the attraction is dominating someone who is different from them in ways that scare & disgust them.
Many transphobic cis people enjoy being cruel to trans people and it doesn't stop if we detransition. Detransitioned trans people are still seen as defective members of our assigned sex. Transphobes make it clear that you will never be as good as them, you'll never be equal.
I never felt like I could take for granted that I would be treated well by transphobic feminists and lesbians who were supposed to be my "sisters". I spent so much time as a detrans radical feminist trying to convince other rad fems that I was their equal and often failing.
My job as a detrans radical feminist was to show that being a trans person under the influence of transphobic radical feminism, being a "lesbian living with gender dysphoria" was better than being a trans person living free. I never held the same status as a cis lesbian.
But of course, indoctrinating yourself into a transphobic ideology is not a good way to live as a trans person! They really have to play games with your head to keep you under control. Lots of rewards and punishment, lots of manipulation but no real freedom or happiness.
Not only do anti-trans conversion practices not work but detransitioning doesn't actually prevent a trans person from experiencing transphobia or give us the same status as a cis person. You end up navigating another kind of transphobia, a more insidious kind.
Ideological detransition is about being trained to accept a subordinate status under the control of transphobic cis people and being rewarded for making transphobic people feel better, working for their pleasure instead of working for ourselves and other trans people.
Transphobic cis people want to control and use trans people's power. Ideological detransition and anti-trans conversion practices are a form of resource extraction, a way for cis people to feed off of trans people. They fear our strength and want to dominate and degrade us.
Anti-trans conversion practices and ideological detransition are forms of abuse and the abuse never stops. Transphobic cis people know we're not like them and can't be like them and the point of trying change us is just about convincing us to accept their abuse and control.
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