Thread by @JenniAgitator

My disabled 15 year old son still sometimes needs help in the bathroom. We are constantly harassed and attacked when I bring him into the ladies room, but that started when he was 7. All this bathroom hate is also impacting caretakers of disabled people of the opposite sex.

He’s autistic with audio sensory issues and I’ve had women scream at me or worse, at him, about being in the women’s room. It’s gotten so bad, I’ll often just drive all the way home from wherever we are to let him use our bathroom rather than risk being yelled at by strangers.

He doesn’t need as much help with toileting now, but is often afraid to go into a crowded mens’ room alone and wants to stay with me. I go into the ladies room or locker room and tell women I’ll be bringing him in. Some are very understanding. Some are just vicious about it.

Until a recently, he needed help w/his pants, wiping. I’ve had women yelling at me under the stall to, “just teach that kid to take care of himself.” Uh, like wow, thanks for the idea, I’d never thought of that. Now because of the drama, I think he’s afraid of bathrooms.

I think because of all the abuse he’s faced in bathrooms by people who clearly don’t understand his needs, even now when he is trained, and can do most by himself, he’s just afraid to go in alone and be screamed at without me there to tell someone to F off or STFU.

I should be able to take my disabled child of the opposite sex into a bathroom w/out being harassed. He should be able to be helped without being shamed or screamed at. I often stop by the side of the road and let him go outside to avoid a public restroom if we’re far from home.

This is our world. Where this obsession with trans kids not using bathrooms, which is vicious enough, is impacting caretakers of disabled people of the opposite sex as well. He’s in a locked stall; he’s not hurting anyone. Neither are trans kids.

Maybe it’s you who shouldn’t use public restrooms if you can’t deal with all kinds of people using them. I shouldn’t have to explain bathroom issues of a disabled person in front of him to rank strangers. He doesn’t exist to be anyone’s teachable moment.

The moral of our little story? Stop being an asshole. Mind your own business. Do a pee and move on. I’m not going to endanger or let my son feel fearful to placate bigots. I owe nobody an explanation or apology. Many owe my son an apology. He’s better than all who’ve judged him.

Maybe the next time you feel compelled to yell at one who you think shouldn’t be in a particular bathroom, think of the harm and shame you’re causing, and the fact that it’s people like you who’ve made a simple act like taking a pee, a fearful and shameful experience for others

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