Thread by @jerr_rrej

A woman does not want to listen to a man, she wants to talk.

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Unframed men believe in the lie of equality in romance and view their women as friends. They laugh, cry and share their every thought with their women. In their minds they view this as a connection that enhances the relationship. Is this correct?

Does sharing thoughts strengthen the relationship? No. When a man is talking to his woman, she will be losing respect for him the more he speaks. Why? Because speech is validation seeking behavior.

Speech requires a listener and listening is a chore to most people. When a man is talking to his woman, she will think "He sure talks a lot about himself" Or "He never stops talking does he?"
The man will think they are connecting but the woman will be disconnecting.

Many unframed guys remember talking to their mommas and their mommas would show real interest in their speech. The reason is that a mom is trying to figure out her boy's personality to better direct him as authority. Mothers worry and want to know their sons so they can monitor.

Talking is showing off thought like a boy who shows his momma a picture he drew for her. "Look at me. See this. What do you think of this momma?" He will say and his momma will say "Very good. You are a talented boy" The boy feels good as his momma pats his head.

Now let us go back to romance. A man will tell his woman all his awesome thoughts and she will think he is seeking validation of his secret self like a boy seeking validation from his momma. Unframed men have mother/son dynamic with their women which builds resentment.

Why does speaking to a women fall into "Validation seeking behavior?" Think. Why speak? Men speak to each other to share rationale in order to learn. Women speak to each other for emotional validation. When a man speaks to his woman, she will be emotionally validating him.

When the woman is spending a long time validating her man's speech puts her into an authority position over him like mother over son. In a way when a woman has to listen to her man speak, she thinks "He needs a lot of emotional validation of himself" --

Is that what the man is thinking? No. He is thinking they are connecting by speech when in fact they are disconnecting by speech. The more the man speaks the more he is seen as needing validation. And this not only tires a woman but raises her above him in authority.

A woman wants to qualify to her leader just like a little girl to her father. She wants to be the one saying, "And men, and me, and me" So her daddy can say "What a good girl. Very good. You are truly special" -- Speech is a dance of qualification. Who is qualifying to whom?

When a man is leading a conversion by inciting a woman to speak more than him, he is assuming authority over her, and she is qualifying to him. When a man is talking about himself, and his woman is asking questions is him qualifying to her. Anti-romance.

Women want a strong masculine leader, not a boy who needs validation from his momma. Be strong. Be silent. Guide her conversation and get her into qualification mode by listening to her thoughts. This is masculine frame and is being wise to female nature.

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https://twitter.com/jerr_rrej/status/1472637243407937538?s=20

The Wall Speaks is a book of male empowerment and easy to read guide on learning masculine frame.

Frame is essential to being a man and to having a successful relationship with a woman.

A woman is only loyal and respectful to frame.

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