A woman does not want to listen to a man, she wants to talk.
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Unframed men believe in the lie of equality in romance and view their women as friends. They laugh, cry and share their every thought with their women. In their minds they view this as a connection that enhances the relationship. Is this correct?
Does sharing thoughts strengthen the relationship? No. When a man is talking to his woman, she will be losing respect for him the more he speaks. Why? Because speech is validation seeking behavior.
Speech requires a listener and listening is a chore to most people. When a man is talking to his woman, she will think "He sure talks a lot about himself" Or "He never stops talking does he?"
The man will think they are connecting but the woman will be disconnecting.
Many unframed guys remember talking to their mommas and their mommas would show real interest in their speech. The reason is that a mom is trying to figure out her boy's personality to better direct him as authority. Mothers worry and want to know their sons so they can monitor.
Talking is showing off thought like a boy who shows his momma a picture he drew for her. "Look at me. See this. What do you think of this momma?" He will say and his momma will say "Very good. You are a talented boy" The boy feels good as his momma pats his head.
Now let us go back to romance. A man will tell his woman all his awesome thoughts and she will think he is seeking validation of his secret self like a boy seeking validation from his momma. Unframed men have mother/son dynamic with their women which builds resentment.
Why does speaking to a women fall into "Validation seeking behavior?" Think. Why speak? Men speak to each other to share rationale in order to learn. Women speak to each other for emotional validation. When a man speaks to his woman, she will be emotionally validating him.
When the woman is spending a long time validating her man's speech puts her into an authority position over him like mother over son. In a way when a woman has to listen to her man speak, she thinks "He needs a lot of emotional validation of himself" --
Is that what the man is thinking? No. He is thinking they are connecting by speech when in fact they are disconnecting by speech. The more the man speaks the more he is seen as needing validation. And this not only tires a woman but raises her above him in authority.
A woman wants to qualify to her leader just like a little girl to her father. She wants to be the one saying, "And men, and me, and me" So her daddy can say "What a good girl. Very good. You are truly special" -- Speech is a dance of qualification. Who is qualifying to whom?
When a man is leading a conversion by inciting a woman to speak more than him, he is assuming authority over her, and she is qualifying to him. When a man is talking about himself, and his woman is asking questions is him qualifying to her. Anti-romance.
Women want a strong masculine leader, not a boy who needs validation from his momma. Be strong. Be silent. Guide her conversation and get her into qualification mode by listening to her thoughts. This is masculine frame and is being wise to female nature.
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Before we go into discussion on male confession to a woman, we must discuss what guilt means. A man with a guilty conscience is a man in doubt of how his behavior is aligning with his identity. And now just how he perceives himself but how those in authority perceive him.
Guilt under authority makes a person doubt themself. And what is the authority? It is whatever a man deems as moral authority above. It can be nation, tribe, church or any group where shame would make an individual doubt himself.
A woman is ruled by dual emotion each month. She is ruled by sexual confidence one half and emotional vulnerability the next. This creates a feeling of certainty in her spirit as she must battle against her own perception.
This irrational feeling of self is like a woman head is spinning. And from this spinning and vulnerable state she will look to others to stabilize herself. A woman left spinning alone goes mad and sinks in her own doubt.
Before we go into how to lower emotion. Let us discuss why we would want to lower emotion in the body. Many women and feminized men think emotions are positive and that "Getting in touch" with emotion is healthy. Is that true? Let us discuss.
What is the positive that can be had by becoming emotional about something? The Wall Speaks was written from an emotional place because the empathy for suffering of fatherless men inspired me. When emotion moves us to act is a positive.
A man's emotional distance is the fragrant scent at the banquet table of love.
Distance pulls a woman towards a man and keeps her interested in her innate craving.
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What do women encourage in men?
Closeness and openness.
They encourage what they thirst for in their spirit. They want to be close and to be open with themselves and they want that with a man.
Closeness and openness are both like foods to the feminine spirit. Think about it like this. A woman who is given these foods is like a man who just satisfied himself at a banquet. How does a man feel about food after he satisfied himself in full?