When you mock, deny the need for, and celebrate the “failure” of efforts to publicize the sexual abuse of children—in the name of your Orthodox way of life—you’re saying your way of life doesn’t hold children’s safety and well-being paramount. That’s not something to be proud of.
These guys know better. They know many, if not most, people in their communities don’t have social media. Some don’t even have smartphones, computers. How are they going to find out about Chaim Walder? How are they going to know how to protect their children from people like him?
When there are STILL big rabbis and rebbetzins saying that Loshon Hora killed Chaim Walder, that he simply “lost his balance,” that the lesson is for women to dress and act modestly, how will people learn the truth? How will victims not continue to be intimidated into silence?
You know what’s not clean? Covering up for sexual abusers.
Not protecting your kids as best as you can.
Letting victims suffer and die in the name of your comfort.

(Not even going to get into the implication that women’s faces aren’t clean).
I know about @yakovhorowitz’s books. They’re very important, even if I don’t entirely agree with the approach.

You can’t fully protect children until they know that if it happens to them, they will be believed, and people won’t shut them up because what happened was “unclean”.
When victims see their family’s primary source of community information (Jewish publications) say nothing about Walder, you know what they see? They see a community putting religious comfort before their own lives. They see people moving on from what they will never move on from.
I’m not saying the Charedi way of life overlooks suffering and death. I love my Charedi family and respect their way of life. I’m saying if you’re Charedi and advocating for silencing victims, you WILL find a religious justification for it.

In the name of God, stop that.
This book is worlds better than Rabbi Horowitz’s book, by the way. Not perfect, but still way better. And it doesn’t have an intro from an “expert” who admitted to encouraging people in Lakewood to send victims to rabbis, not police (Dr. David Pelcovitz).
magenu.org/shopitem05.html

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More from @wordpaley

3 Jan
Read this thread until the end.
The texts that must be grappled with are everywhere, even where you don’t think to look. Just in yesterday’s daf, the Talmud says we can’t rely on testimony of a person who experienced something as a child. Would the Sages believe Walder’s victims?
Or what about the opinion of the Amora Shmuel’s father, that every married woman who is raped by another man is forbidden to her husband because we must assume she ultimately acquiesced (תחלתה באונס וסופה ברצון)? Would he believe Walder’s victims?

sefaria.org/Ketubot.51b.8
Read 13 tweets
2 Jan
To all my non-religious/non-Jewish followers confused/disturbed why I’m tweeting so much about sexual abuse:

Thank you for staying with me until now. My community is undergoing a major reckoning and it’s difficult to think, and certainly tweet, about other things right now. 1/3
I’m also in a PhD program, which limits the amount of time I can spend here. So for the next few weeks most, if not all of my tweets, will be about this issue. I promise you, I wish I didn’t have to tweet so much about this. But I cannot remain silent given the platform I have. 2
If it’s traumatizing or otherwise upsetting for you—which I COMPLETELY understand (I myself am learning my limits)—please mute me. I’ll send out a tweet when things are somewhat back to normal. Until then, take care of yourselves and can’t wait to talk lighter stuff with y’all!❤️‍🩹
Read 4 tweets
1 Jan
Shavua tov. If your rabbi didn’t talk about believing and supporting victims of sexual abuse (either in a speech, email, or even a note in the newsletter), it might be time to find a new rabbi. Even better, it might be time to rethink your relationship with rabbis.
As Asher says perfectly here, there’s nothing that rabbis learn in their training that makes them remotely qualified to handle sexual abuse. Even @YUNews’ rabbinical school, a “Modern Orthodox” institution, offers no formal training to their students.
Why? Because Orthodoxy’s idea of the rabbi’s role, and in turn laypeople’s relationships with rabbis, is deeply, deeply skewed and unhealthy. People think rabbis have the answers for everything, that they’re God’s messengers on Earth because they spent a few years learning Torah.
Read 7 tweets
24 Nov 21
Gentle reminder that the Baruch Lanner scandal was widely considered a watershed moment and yet Orthodox institutions continue to look the other way on child sex abuse. There will be no real watershed moment until there is trauma-informed Halacha mandating us to believe victims.
Chaim Walder had dozens of victims. Baruch Lanner might have had more. You know why the community acted? Because victims don’t get together to make this stuff up. It’s a numbers game.
How do I know it’s a numbers game? Because of the leaders (yes, Modern Orthodox leaders too) who didn’t do anything when they knew about 1 or 2 victims. And press generally won’t cover it unless there are more. So the leaders are in the clear. And the victims suffer in silence.
Read 27 tweets
17 Nov 21
Update: Radio Kol Chai, one of the top 2 Charedi radio stations in Israel, just suspended Walder's show. There are rumors his column in Yated Neeman will be suspended as well. It is possible these media outlets are just doing damage control, but this is still unprecedented.
The Charedi-owned department store chain Osher Ad has also removed Walder's books from its stores.

This would likely not be possible without the hard work of the Charedi feminist organization @Nivcharot and feminist activists @Estyshushan, @pninapf, @EfratChocron, @AvigayilKar, and many more I'm forgetting. They are making real change. Follow them!

the7eye.org.il/436158
Read 7 tweets
16 Nov 21
It’s now been more than 3 days since this news broke. And the only people talking about it here are the people who always call out abuse.

I want to be shocked, but I’m used to it already.

A thread on how the institutional structure of the Orthodox community perpetuates abuse:
First I’ll lay out the 3 problems with Orthodox infrastructure that perpetuate abuse, then I’ll explain each one by one in separate threads.
1. There’s no check on men in power.
2. Teacher is a lowly, unglamorous job so no one cares to properly evaluate their suitability to teach kids.
3. The well-being and right to self-determination of Orthodox children is not prioritized over their staying within the Orthodox fold.
Read 30 tweets

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