Thread by @Wizarab10

On the issue of the lady with a fully funded scholarship who was asked to pick the Msc or stay and marry.

Everyone is saying, a partner that doesn't want you to go for Msc doesn't want the best for you. I don't agree to the absoluteness of that claim and I'll explain.

Msc is good and it is an opportunity to build herself and her career. But we know that a relationship involves 2 people and not one person. Everyone is making is sound like an Msc is more important than a relationship. A good partner is difficult to find - home and abroad.

When you find one, you want to keep it. Some are using her age as a point of argument. She is 22.

Being 22 means she is young and thus, has time to find a better spouse when she has gone for her Msc and possibly gotten a career. But since when is tomorrow promised?

There are many ladies in their 30s now who genuinely seek a good relationship to start a family but frustratingly can't find one and looking to settle with just anybody - the next person to show an interest.

Let us marry the fact that no matter where you schooled and the career you've built, the wrong partner will mess you up

Is the Msc a good opportunity? YES
Is it an easy decision to make as someone in a relationship? NO - Except you don't really love the person or it is toxic.

Some are saying if itvwas the guy, he would have gone. But you don't know that. You can't extrapolate the fact to arrive at your preconceived conclusion.

Men have turned down exotic jobs/education because it would affect the home they are building. Decisions are personal.

Realistically speaking, most ladies in relationship who go abroad for further studies end up dumping their boyfriends because - HYPERGAMY. Even boyfriends who sponsored Msc are dumped. Heck! Some married women dump their husbands.

Life is unscripted.

Abroad is Abroad. For me, it is nothing more than a different location. We go through life wanting the best for ourselves but with time, we realize we want to share this with someone special. Genuine relationship is hard everywhere and hurt is the same home and abroad.

The boyfriend has a valid claim for her to choose between him or the Msc. He isn't forcing her to make a decision. You can want someone's best interest without dating them anymore. It is a difficult position for both of them. There is a high chance she would dump him later.

Who says they can't marry and travel together later? Who says he won't be able to sponsor her Msc as a wife later? Distance relationship is hard on married people. How much worse dating people?

Whether the Msc is the best decision depends on context - the relationship they have, the plans they have for each other, immediate and long term goals, the reason for Msc (not everyone is advancing career. Some use it to escape Nigeria, ONLY)

Some people have taken the Msc route to the detriment of the relationship and it paid off. Some did and regretted it. Some turned down the Msc for their relationship and regretted it. Some turned it down and are happier for it.

Her realities would determine the best decision.

The reason most people are saying itbis an easy decision to make justbshows how noncommittal we are and why relationship are so fickle. You are quick to jump on the next rich guy that comes along, the next Job or post graduate studies that cost your relationship.

I personally think it is shameful that in every decision made on social media, the decision is always to dump the one one you you have loved or claimed to love or make them an afterthought or selfish reason. This makes me wonder if you people know what relationship mean.

This is a decision both of them have to make even if she has to go. Sometimes, you can end the relationship in good understanding so the other can move on because there are no guarantees. It is simple courtesy.

Relationship also entails making the hardest decisions together.

She could even go but they have to work out how this is going to work out from two sides of the ocean. The statistics is not in his favour. Whatever decision they come up with, she will be fine and he will be fine - so I hope. Life is unscripted.

Let me repeat for emphasis that just because you are 22 doesn't guarantee you'll find love later. Many haven't found good love since their very first relationship. Some are 30+ and have never found one. (I'm assuming she has a good one)

Nothing is guaranteed. She'll be fine.

Please learn to consider your partner in your major decisions. Itbis not always about your selfish interest. Always consider how your interest affect the relationships. If you choose tondump them for selfish interest, oh well 🤷‍♂️

It doesnt matter what the decision is - wedding, children, post study, finances, trauma, sex, cultural appreciation, taking exotic jobs among others, - understand that making decisions together is more important than what that decision is.

I won't belabor the point any further. I hope life deals you all kindly and your decisions pays off in good faith. Peace, Love and Spaghetti 🍷