Dreamweasel Profile picture
Jan 25 5 tweets 1 min read
CNN: We’re here with Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema, whose steadfast opposition to the Democrats’ agenda has earned her 8% approval among Arizona Democrats

SINEMA: We’re thankful for the teachers, parents & students for their dedication to education during such challenging times
CNN: Do you think your low approval rating is related to your refusal to support President Biden’s Build Back Better Bill?

SINEMA: Arizona will receive $61 million for wildfire prevention and recovery efforts thanks to our Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Law
CNN: Have you ever questioned the wisdom of keeping the filibuster in place?

SINEMA: The University of Arizona will receive a workforce development grant to boost teacher training in food and agricultural science
CNN: When offered the following alternatives to re-electing you, 40% of Democrats chose “root canal surgery”, 24% chose “living under a freeway overpass”, and 10% chose “appointing Trump President-for-Life”

SINEMA: Our bipartisan Chance to Compete Act improves federal hiring
CNN: Why do you insist on being so evasive

SINEMA: (static; image flickers)

CNN: Wait; are you a *hologram*?

SINEMA: We have introduced a bill to reduce traditional bureaucratic barriers that limit opportunities for federal job seekers

• • •

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More from @Dreamweasel

Jan 26
BIDEN: To replace Justice Breyer, I nominate—

FOX NEWS: ZOMG SOCIALISM CRITICAL RACE THEORY DEFUND THE POLICE BORDER CRISIS VENEZUELA RIOTING AND LOOTING NAZI VACCINE PASSPORTS EVIL DEEP STATE CABAL DRAG QUEEN STORY HOUR!!!

NYT: Is Biden’s Supreme Court Pick Too Divisive?
R: Biden could’ve selected a moderate, but he had to pick Socialism CRT Defund the Police Border Crisis Venezuela Rioting Looting Nazi Vaccine Passports Evil Deep State Drag Queen Story Hour

D: I don’t think the nominee supports those things

R: He clearly wants to divide us all
NYT: We’re here in Fudgewhistle, Montana, to ask residents how they feel about

R: Socialism CRT Defund the Police Border Crisis Venezuela Rioting Looting Nazi Vaccine Passports Evil Deep State Drag Queen Story Hour

NYT: These fact-finding missions are becoming sorta predictable
Read 4 tweets
Jan 26
D: This has been a problem for years now, & it isn’t going away

R: You liberals are deranged & hysterical

D: We talk about how to stop it until we’re blue in the face, but those red-state loons just keep doing what they always do

R: You elites can’t tell us what to do!

(1/5)
D: It feels like if we let our guard down for even a second, it’s gonna come back, worse than ever

R: Just get over it! If it happens, it’ll happen

D: Aren’t you paying attention to anything we’ve learned so far?

R: I aggressively mistrust everything you tell me

(2/5)
D: We need to be vigilant

R: Stop trying to scare us

D: It’ll happen again

R: It wasn’t even a big deal

D: It’ll destroy the country

R: FAKE NEWS

D: Your actions suggest that you want it to happen again

R: That’s a lie! But it wouldn’t bother us too much if it did

(3/5)
Read 5 tweets
Jan 25
I get the most interesting followers Image
SHE WAS A TRUMPER GIRL
A “MAGA”-ON-BUMPER GIRL
I DON’T THINK SHE UNDERSTOOD MY JOKES

SHE DOESN’T LIKE ANY DEMS
OR PEOPLE WHO SEND DM’S
SHE DON’T GET ALONG WITH LIBERAL FOLKS…

🎵
UPDATE: Please, please tell me they’ve decided to co-opt “Stupid Son of a Bitch” the way they did “Deplorable” Image
Read 5 tweets
Jan 23
INTRODUCING COLBY, THE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL LIBERAL WHO EXISTS SOLELY IN THE MINDS OF FOX NEWS VIEWERS

COLBY: I want COVID restrictions to last forever, because I hate personal freedom & I love government control

R: I see

COLBY: I am also OBSESSED with forcing CRT on children
COLBY: It pains me to see any acknowledgment of gender differences at all, and I have made it my life’s mission to change our nation’s laws to accommodate the whims of transgender people

R: Laying it on pretty thick, aren’t you

COLBY: And I’m still REALLY mad that Hillary lost
R: It’s going to be a challenge to make your caricature distinguishable from what we actually think of you

COLBY: Don’t worry, I will fight tooth & nail to prevent any knowingly droll remarks, because humor is my Kryptonite

R: So much for the tolerant Left

COLBY: I CANCEL THEE
Read 6 tweets
Jan 23
D: Trump’s going to run again and try another coup when he loses

R: TDS! 😂

FOX: Approximately 75% of registered Republicans believe Trump won in 2020 and would approve of a Constitutional amendment to make him President forever
D: There never was a Republican plan to combat the Coronavirus; you all believed Trump when he said it was a hoax

R: TDS! 😂

CNN: We are now entering our third year of unabated COVID hospitalizations in red states among deeply uninformed yahoos who refuse to take the vaccine
D: The entire Republican platform is informed by racial panic

R: TDS! 😂

FOX: Tonight! Biden demonstrates his helplessness in the face of relentless BLM rioting & looting and filthy immigrants swarming over the border to teach our children Critical Race Theory
Read 4 tweets
Jan 20
R: Our platform is based on keeping out immigrants, abolishing CRT in schools, and cracking down on BLM protests

D: A lot of that sounds based on racism

R: To counter your argument, I will show you some decontextualized Joe Biden statements & pretend it’s exactly the same thing
D: Our goal is to acknolwedge where white supremacy affects our society & diminish it where we can

R: Our goal is to call you “hypocrites” and allow it to continue

D: Our goal is to stop institutional racism

R: Our goal is to stop you
R: I will insist your side is just as bad

D: Your counterexamples aren’t comparable in content or scale

R: I will deflect from the issue by focusing exclusively on your hypocrisy

D: Your ideology is pure Whataboutism, which you fallaciously conflate with intellectual integrity
Read 5 tweets

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