Thread by @cicerfics

Current #PregjiSeason brainworm:

WWX is filling in at his sister's catering company. He's packaging up some food one day when a gorgeous pregnant dude walks in, basically grabs the cashier by the collar, and says, "I will pay you $100 if you let me go into your walk-in freezer."

See, LWJ opted to have a baby via sperm donor and he's been very happy with that decision...until he hit Week 16 and started having the most horrendous hot flashes known to humankind.

Ice packs don't cut it. Smoothies and air conditioning don't cut it. He's desperate!

The cashier is like, "...Dude, I can't just let customers go in there. It's, like, against the health code and stuff??"

But WWX understands! His jie had hot flashes when she was pregnant, too!

So he tells the cashier to finish loading up the truck, and he'll handle this. The cashier is very eager to get away from the crazy pregnant guy who's sweating bullets and sending out visible WAVES of desperation.

And once the cashier is gone, WWX smuggles LWJ into the freezer.

He makes sure to have LWJ wash his hands and put on a hairnet and overshoes first, for the sake of JYL's company's immaculate health grade!

But he gets LWJ some ice water and lets him sit in the coolest part of the freezer, and LWJ basically melts with relief.

They get to talking. WWX not-so-sneakily checks out LWJ's hands (no wedding ring!) and not-so-subtly asks about the babydaddy (there isn't one!).

And then they have to get out of the freezer so everyone can finish loading up the refrigerated trucks.

But WWX offers to take LWJ along on his deliveries. LWJ can sit in the fridge, and he can eat any leftover desserts!

LWJ agrees. He snarfs down three lotus pastries and four egg tarts within a two-hour delivery run, and he FINALLY stops feeling like he's boiling alive.

Long story short, this winds up being the 'how I met your father' story for their little family!

...You know what, the longer I think about this concept, the funnier it is to me.

LWJ just busts into the front office of the catering company. Sweaty, wild-eyed, hungry, horny, six months pregnant and ready to bodycheck the cashier out of the way so he can get in the freezer.

And WWX is just like, "😍🤤☺️ Omg. It's him. It's the man of my dreams!"

WWX, bouncing the baby on his knee two years in the future: Ah, from the moment I met your baba, it was love at first sight! 🥰

[record scratch, freeze-frame, rewind to the moment where LWJ lunged for the cashier's throat and then inhaled the seven pastries WWX offered him]

WWX: How could I help falling in love? He was just so beautiful and elegant! 😍

[smash-cut to a sweaty LWJ horfing down desserts in the back of the refrigerated truck]

WWX: He was so sleek! So classy! So debonair! 🤩

[smash-cut to LWJ mopping his sweaty forehead with a paper napikin, then letting out the buttons on his pants so he can eat an eighth pastry]