Thread by @SlaapkamerA

I have been writing here and there at the new story. It is called It starts at the end, and it is a story that starts at the end and ends at the beginning. I do not know how far I will get and if I ever get to finish it, my body being fickle as fuck, but the idea is firmly one of

the things keeping my mind most busy. And I think I understand why.

As I said before, we are not all going through the same pandemic. This is not to undermine any type of suffering other people experienced under the instability of the covid policies and the lack of proper

political guidance and help. But existing power structures very much impacted how we experienced the pandemic differently, and in this case a lot of burden ended up on disabled people.

Being in years-long isolation is not the same as going from lockdown to lockdown. And dealing

with eugenic ableism above the pandemic brings another level of pain. People protesting on the streets because protecting your lives is too much hassle, the media consistently debating whether it is actually better if we are left to die. At least the virus only takes out the weak

and vulnerable, they say. They are dry tinder you say. For 2 years now people tell us to die. It fucks with your head. And on top of that none of the measures where beneficial at all too us, never really protective enough. We were just used as scapegoats, to build hate up

against so they can finally release all measures and let eugenics take its course.

So the same people that tell disabled people we are too young to be disabled now tell us we are not too young to die. So the same people that told us we cannot possibly be that disabled, tell us

now that if we are that disabled that we cannot survive a virus we are not viable with life anyway. It fucks with your head, and so I lost all my hope in humanity. Which is a big thing. Cause all though I always felt like society had way too many fuckheads, I had hope we could

and would eventually do better and that hope kept me fighting. Now anger does.

So how does it tie in with the story? Well it has unlikable, fickle, unreliable characters and I am sure we all what that represents. But most of all, I think it is a desire to go back to who I was

before the pandemic in a sense. I think I kinda still want to hope that society is at least half way decent. That there is a willingness to be better. I want that part of me back. I want to be able to hope for more.

#MyDisabledLifeIsWorthy