Thread by @GbengaWemimo

I remember my first real valentines day like yesterday, I remember it because it was the last valentines day I ever celebrated in my life
That day in 1996 was a day of suffering and tears for me
I was in the boarding house at this period of my life
I didn't know

what pushed me to ask one lady to be my girlfriend towards the Christmas break of the previous term
She agreed
I had a friend and roommate called Gbengele, he also asked a lady out and she said yes
We both felt like big boys when we got to the hostel and told our friends that we

"toasted" babes and the babes actually said "Yes"
Wow
It was quite a feat those days
What we didn't put into consideration was the responsibility that goes with keeping a relationship
We were both from average families, our school fees and boarding fees got paid on time and we

got some beverages and some pocket money
But there was nowhere in our parent's budgets for any luxury
After the Christmas and New year break, school resumed
Our seniors had made deliberate plans for their babes on campus
The resumed with gifts of all shades and colours
Jewelry

boxes, assorted biscuits, wines, juices, waist bags, alice bands, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, customised t-shirts, wrist watches and so on were on display in the male hostel
The seniors called them valentine gifts
They started telling tales of how some ladies embarrassed

their guys who couldn't measure up the previous year and how ladies spend time comparing gifts they received in the girls hostel and how they laugh at guys who couldn't measure up behind their backs
I started feeling the chills of embarrassment from that moment
I didnt know that

my friend was also feeling the same way
How do we get valentine gifts for our babes so that we wouldn't become laughing stocks?
We brainstormed for many days, at long last we decided to approach a mechanized farmer who comes to our school premises to help out on the school farm

We couldn't tell him the truth, so we lied that we needed something to do that could earn us one thousand Naira each
The man said he could get us something but we must find our way to his farm and we must be prepared to work
Valentines fell on a Saturday, we sneaked out of school

on Friday morning (We mixed up with the day students and left the school entirely)
We started with a marathon three hour walk to this man's farm
As soon as we got there he told us he would only pay us 500 Naira because half of the day was gone
We said ok
We got to work harvesting

cassava
Ladies and gentlemen, farm work is hard work
We harvested cassava for six hours without a break, by the time we were done, we had only been able to clear half the plot allocated to us
We got paid and we found our way back to school
(We took a taxi of 25 Naira each)
We

dare not tell our friends and roommates what we were up to
The next morning, we returned to the farm and completed our plots
Again this hard labour took us about 6 hours
We got to the farm by 9am and left at about 3:30pm
We got paid another 500 naira each
This time we had to rush

to a supermarket to buy our gifts
Hmm
That would be the first 1000 naira I ever worked for, it was the toughest I ever earned
By this time the money had reduced to 900 Naira each
We bought Danish cookies, wine, valentine card, and a light make up set comprising of powders, combs,

etc
We spent 800 Naira each on gifts, took a taxi back to school so that we can shower and dress up for the evening valentines treat
We had both told our babes to meet us at the school area by 6pm
When it was 6pm, I carried my school bag as if I was going to study so that the

other guys wouldn't know what i was up to'
My friend also did the same
We got to our "reading spot"
Our "reading partners" showed up a few minutes later
We did a little bit of chit chat
My friend and his partner went to the next classroom
All we do those days is talk and study

together
I presented my valentines gift with joy in my heart, my babe smiled and said some things I cannot remember...
I was expecting a gift in return
Hmmm
Nothing!
She just thanked me and said she had to go to the hostel before 7pm
Just like that she was gone
Wawuuu!
Not even a

stick of toothpick
Nothing.
I sat in that class for hours
My hand was all blistered and my joints were stiff, the weight of the manual labour I did washed over me like Port Harcourt sooty atmosphere
I couldn't even pretend I was not disappointed
My friend showed up a few minutes

later
He said his babe had left too
He said "What did you get?"
I shook my head
He looked at me and my friend began to cry like a baby
He said "Even if it is a handkerchief, I would have cherished it. She only said thank you and left"
Hmmm
That night, when we got to our room

we heard tales of what this person got and what that person got
We slinked to our beds and slept our disappointment off
The next day, as soon as we got to the chapel, my friend saw his babe
She sent him a note
"I noticed that your hands were swollen and blistered yesterday. I

hope you didnt steal what you gave me as a valentines gift. If they call your name on the assembly, please don't mention my name. I didn't ask anyone to buy me anything"
My friend showed me the note immediately
He was very disappointed
I started plotting in my head...
As soon as

we concluded the chapel service
I approached his babe and told her I needed to share something with her
I told her we were desperate to buy our ladies something for Valentine and we had no money, so we went to town and stole some things. I told her we got caught and the matter

been reported to the principal
I promised her we wouldn't mention her name or the name of my babe unless the beating got too much because I was very sure we would get flogged during the morning assembly the next day
The lady nodded several times, then she told me to wait
When she

was gone, my friend asked me what I said
I said he should wait a bit
About ten minutes later, this lady appeared, not only with the gift my friend bought her but also with the one i bought my babe
Wow!
When we got to the hostel, we told everybody our babes bought us Valentines

gifts and gave them to us at the chapel
We settled down and ate our biscuits with delight
The next morning, the babes waited and waited during the assembly for the crime to be called and the perpetrators to be publicly disgraced
It didn't happen
When we got to class, the two

ladies came to meet me
I couldn't help it, I laughed on and on and on
That was the end of that "friendship" and since that time I had kept Valentine palava far away from my consciousness
Please don't put yourself under any pressure to buy gifts you cannot afford for anybody this

season
Valentines day will come and go
Take yourself for a treat
If you have an understanding partner, a stroll with lots of laughter is more than a gift
Remember only the living and the free will enjoy many more Valentines
If you kill yourself, he or she will move on

I love you