Are you out of revenge Valentine’s Day ideas this year?

The ATF got you, fam!

Because faking a pregnancy test or keying his car is soooooooo 2018.
This is right up there with Waco in the “bad idea, ATF” folder
Think ATF’s Valentine’s Day message is inspired?

Just wait until the NSA’s “Think he’s cheating? We can help!” campaign drops
CIA Valentine’s Day message:

“Ever wished you could make your ex just disappear? We’ve all been there.”
Looking to put the “calienté” back in your relationship?

This Valentine’s Day, get away from it all and enjoy an all-expense trip to the most exclusive Mexican resorts!

With love from our family to yours,
ICE
“When tall, dark, and handsome is too good to be true… it probably is.

This year, you can skip Google.

Let DHS check out your Valentine’s Day date!”
“Take her breath away this Valentine’s Day with a no-knock raid from us at the FBI.

Who doesn’t love a romantic late night surprise?”
“An engagement ring should be 3 months of his salary.

This Valentine’s Day, we want to help you find your true self-worth.

You deserve it, ladies!”

— the IRS
What in the name of COINTELPRO Christ
Local police departments:

“No one should get dumped on Valentine’s Day just because they can’t afford a gift.

Apply today for a job with excellent benefits like civil forfeitures and bribes”
“Love bombing: it’s not just for narcissists.

Don’t let any borders get in the way of letting him know exactly how you feel!

Wishing you a very Happy Valentine’s Day from the Department of Defense”
“Marriage woes getting you down?

Show *yourself* love this Valentine’s Day. Report her for visa fraud!”

— USCIS
“Love shouldn’t hurt. Give us his name and we’ll help you find out:

Is that burning sensation you feel true love — or gonorrhea?

Happy Valentine’s Day from the CDC”
“He’d HAVE to be high to dump you for… her.

This Valentine’s Day, let us help you get him back!

Best wishes, the DEA”
Okay okay I swear I’m stopping now

I hope

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More from @MsEntropy

Feb 11
Just got a text asking me “why the fuck is Afghanistan supposed to pay 9/11 victims and not Saudi Arabia?”

So, quick thread on the legal logic behind Biden’s move to use frozen Afghan funds.

Note: this does NOT mean I agree with the logic.
Bin Laden sought refuge in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan, and while there - organized and launched the 9/11 attacks.

Mullah Omar had agreed to let him stay, provided Bin Laden refrain from foreign attacks.

Very few AQ operatives even knew about ‘the planes operation.’
Why wasn’t Bin Laden living in Saudi Arabia instead of Afghanistan when he planned 9/11?

Saudi Arabia (the state) hated him and vice versa — largely over his fury Saudi let US troops in for the Gulf War.

He was KSA (again, the state - not sympathetic royals) persona non grata.
Read 16 tweets
Jan 10
Oh sure let’s be “impartial” about Nazis and discuss both sides.

Imagine the lesson plans: “Is Genocide bad or good? Who can really say?”

Both sides-ing the literal Holocaust is pretty on brand for the GOP, though.
The GOP wants to ban Critical Race Theory.

The GOP demands teachers are “impartial” on the topic of Nazism.

THAT SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING IMPORTANT
You know we need Critical Race Theory taught in schools?

Because elected officials demand “impartial” treatment of Nazism.

This isn’t complicated,
Read 10 tweets
Jan 3
my dr. is unexpectedly out of town, which is super great because I’m out of ADHD meds that are already always on back order by a week, we’re using the oven for heat because the water heater broke thursday, and kitten is currently trying to free the blood python

2022 is amazing
Maybe I’ll just cope through the unmedicated ADHD for the week by compiling a master thread of #ShitMyStudentsSendMe since I can’t concentrate for shit
Just called the pharmacy to see if they’ve got an ETA for my prescription. Pharmacist hears my name and says “my favorite person!”

That’s how shitty my doctor (and American healthcare) is - the pharmacy knows this obnoxious monthly song and dance.

2022 is truly something.
Read 5 tweets
Jan 3
Was advising a former student over FT from the hot tub, and she’s working on critiques of the War on Terror tortue program.

Of course some blue haired ladies had to roll up, eavesdrop, and then try to lecture me about their sons who served in Iraq.

Hold me back.
Like c’mon Marge don’t make me tell you about what dealing with ISIS is like go finish crocheting that scarf
She’s now yapping about cash only businesses Iike Vietnamese nail salons and immigrants’ “dual loyalties”

Tell me not to ask her what reservation she from
Read 6 tweets
Jan 1
Me: “women’s tactical vest”

Amazon: Image
I love y’all, but I’m less looking for chapstick pockets and more looking for a replacement for my old tactical vest a la
🎶🎵 never shoulda had that post revolution Kevlar wardrobe sale 🎵🎶
Read 5 tweets
Jan 1
“Mass formation psychosis” is an updated, pseudo-scientific version of Gustave Le Bon’s mob hysteria.

Nazi Germany was not “literally hypnotized,” and that’s an absurd eradication of human agency.
My credentials are a PhD from one of the world’s top universities, and expertise in political violence reflected in a 30+ page CV that includes such things as multiple Fulbrights, United Nations and State Department publications, among others.

1. My PhD is from Emory University.

2. No, I never “worked for the government.” As I said, I wrote policy recommendations upon request (that weren’t followed, so that should — by your ‘logic’ — make me *more* credible).

3. Keep going.
Read 12 tweets

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