Thread by @TheBrometheus

Women with attachment issues find men with attachment issues. It works for a while.

Then they have kids. She gets mad at him for having attachment issues that cause anxiety in her kids.

She demands he change. He has no idea how. So they fight.

This is the majority of divorces.

The key to fixing these relationships is to educate both parents about attachment. When they understand what's happening and have a shared language to talk about it, they can be patient and find solutions.

Then the dad fixes things with the kids. Not the wife. Kids first.

By repairing the relationship with the kids, he repairs their attachment and decreases their anxiety. The mother sees those healthy changes and views him as an asset to the children instead of a threat to their wellbeing.

This allows the couple to reunite with a shared goal.

Most husbands try to do it backwards. Repair the relationship with the wife first. She gets angry and pushes back, and he doesn't get why. It's because she sees him as a threat to the children. They're hurting, and she thinks it's his fault. That mindset must shift first.

By educating about attachment, repairing attachment in the adults as individuals, and the father fixing attachment with each child, it opens the couple up to unify as a team to take care of their children. They become partners in a shared goal: Building a healthy family.

This is the only path to healing for couples facing this issue.

Fix attachment with the kids first. The rest will flow from that.