Talia Lavin Profile picture
Feb 20 42 tweets 6 min read
about to watch highlander for the first time
i hear there are swords in it
omg the score is by queen?! this is the most 1980s movie to ever 1980s
these wrestlers............. i Cant
ok so swordfights are WAY more entertaining than gunfights in action movies
also why does every blond '80s action hero look identical
boiled leather shields!!!
im sorry but my mans face is goofy christopher lambert in highlander
"There was a guy killed just like that [beheading] over in Jersey."
"Yeah, but I figure, what the hell, that's Jersey."
this is slander of my home state of new jersey
ok so I get that Christopher Lambert is French but why does he sound Latvian throughout
Kurgan is an incredible villain already. im enchanted. nash's unplaceable balkan accent included
i fucking love how this movie is entirely about swords held by beautiful men a dissassembled sword in a boxkurgan wielding a sword
*pointing* thats the catchphrase a shadowy kurgan saying "there can be only one"
the highlander is a major himbo
question.... what the fuck is happening
why is the only scotsman in this film "Spanish" sean connery with an insane moustsche and hat with peacock f
heck yea the book "A Metallurgical History of Ancient Sword-Maki
these are some empty ass eyes closeup on christopher lambert's eyes
sorry i took a break cuz a friend came over and we played code names (great game)
ok back to highlander wait the detective is a sword expert?!
so much going on in this scene. sean connery not knowing what haggis is. he's ... egyptian???
why could they not simply have had the guy with the thick scottish burr play the scotsman?
amazing shot connor macleod walking out of the water with sword in hand
eat shit rocky. greatest training montage of all time
this is the epitome of so bad it's good
how i feel when i use my massaging showerhead for actual back pain
why... is sean connery named Ramirez........
what is this "stone castle" made of. styrofoam
not clear on the math of this. they should repeat it
hell yeah
did they... have katanas in 600 bc
i will say one thing about this movie: i have absolutely no idea what is about to happen at any point
who is this machine gun vigilante? why is kurgan so hot
killing another highlander seems to give an ultimo orgasm
"ey don't say anythin' about swoad fights in new yawk"
*bizarre possibly lithuanian accent* take care of her you overdressed haggis
im just. why did kurgan scream neil young lyrics in a cathedral
when i stab a dude and he doesnt die my first reaction is also french kissing
*very graphic sex scene transitions into shots of a lion cage*
new york city is really a character in this movie
what a pristinely insane movie

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More from @swordsjew

Feb 15
omg @lisechen's fundraiser hit goal and i will have to actually destroy a watermelon with my sword. in the interim as i strategize, keep donating!! these ladies need all the help they can get gofundme.com/f/8rrce-help-m… screenshot of a gofundme fundraiser entitled "Help me h
this is going to be violently embarassing
okay. I promised sword based watermelon destruction if you helped @lisechen's momma be fed, clothed and cared for. You delivered. I have slain a melon, for you. thanks to @ValerieComplex for filming. if you like, donate to the gofundme! gofundme.com/f/8rrce-help-m…
Read 4 tweets
Feb 14
If you all donate to this fundraiser by the wonderful @EliseHorn17 I will post a video of myself smashing a foodstuff of your choice with my biggest sword if it hits its goal. gofundme.com/f/8rrce-help-m…
poll for slicey times if you donate to this fundraiser! what would you like to see sword smashed gofundme.com/f/8rrce-help-m…
looks like im gonna be decapitating a watermelon if we can get @lisechen's momma $5,000 more!!! please help. medical expenses are high, red tape is dreadful, and this lovely woman truly needs your help. gofundme.com/f/8rrce-help-m…
Read 8 tweets
Feb 14
hell yeah to the comrade that hit the fash in the purse. the givesendgo founders said they'd be happy to host a kkk fundraiser so... givesendgo the fashy christian fundraising site got hacked.
lmao eat shit suckers
i interviewed the christofascist givesendgo founders here: thenation.com/article/societ…
Read 5 tweets
Feb 6
thank you to film twitter for ensuring i'll never tweet about a movie again! congrats
actually fuck that. ill just say it: apocalypse now was too long. casino also that shit got depressing.
every movie should be 90 minutes. there should be more lesbians in every movie. russell crowe was a pretty good javert.
Read 6 tweets
Feb 5
watching the #tinderswindler doc and its confirming some priors for me
ie: casual hetero dating is a nightmare maze
heterosexuality is a prison
Read 14 tweets
Jan 25
why did no one tell me about the book "pigs in the parlor"! exvangelicals i am disappointed in you
gotta love a book that will give you 53 different groupings of demons and one of them has "lesbianism" and another has "unitarianism"
arthritis? caused by arthritis demons
Read 4 tweets

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