Have you ever been given two options by a non-autistic, and you choose an option, and then you're told, "No, you should pick the other option."
This almost always causes me to meltdown and cry.
Why was I presented with two options in the first place?
I'll give two examples:
Example #1: I purchased a dress from a small business. I was told I could provide 19 measurments or 3 measurements. I requested the 3 measurments option. I was then badgered for two days that I should not go with that option. I broke down in tears.
Example #2: A long time ago (pre-Autism Dx), I was in a mental health facility. I was asked if I would like treatment for anxiety OR depression. I requested treatment for anxiety. I was told that if I didn't comply with treatment for depression, I could not leave the facility.
Are fake options a neurotypical form of passive-aggressive communication?
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Task initiation is hard for many autistics, whose brains may be geared toward staying in the midst of a few high-intensity interests.
Task initiation is an executive functioning skill that involves knowing how to begin an activity. For many autistics, getting lost in the midst of a task comes naturally, but actually kicking off the task is the hardest part.
Starting a task is difficult. It requires breaking down an activity into small pieces. Tasks are usually made up of multiple tasks. In fact, tasks often have multiple starting points. So, in order to initiate an activity, we actually have to start multiple times.
Why I, an autistic person, do not like the phrase "info dumping": 🧵
According to Dictionary[dot]com, info dumping is providing a large quantity of backstory or background information all at once. It is a slang term that almost always has a negative connotation.
The term has no clear origin but may originate from copy/paste responses online.
Most recently, info dumping is used to describe autistic individuals when we talk about our special interests.
Apparently, we don't share our passions. We don't describe our passions. We don't teach about our passions.
Ever seen one of these emotions charts? These guides are meant to teach people what emotions are. Except, as an autistic person, I could never relate.
I spent hours staring at these emotions charts. I memorized and copied them. I thought emotions were something to mimic. A set of vocabulary I needed to burn into my mind.
Then, I learned a word for my experience that is often used to describe autistics: Alexithymia.
At first, alexithymia, or the inability to recognize my emotions in myself or others, felt like good way to describe my autistic experiences. Until I started taking off the mask.
I reclaimed stimming. I reclaimed echolalia. I reclaimed my authentic facial expressions.
Empty phrases like, "How are you?" are social nightmares for many autistics. Turns out, these confusing greetings are called phatic language, and they drive a wedge between autistic/allistic communication. 🧵
Over time, I've scripted replies to, "How are you?" But no matter how many times I say, "Pretty good," "Doing all right," or just nod, I'm filled with panic. Does this person actually want to know how I'm doing? Why did they ignore me when I responded, "Fine. How about you?"
"How are you" is an example of phatic language. Although it seems meaningless, non-autistics actually build social bonds with this kind of greeting. However, given that autistics bond & communicate differently from allistics, phatic language can be frustrating and even isolating.