Thread by @sarahblarose

Here is something that has been discussed lately over coffee in this household as #COVID restrictions are lifted, b/c it has caused a lot of hurt to me and @KlHumpf. People don’t realize why and it is time to say it.

@KlHumpf A comment that we hear from time to time in varying forms is how important it is to see people’s faces again, look into each other’s eyes, etc.

Go ahead and enjoy your sight, but comments like this, in the face of the pandemic, are ableist.

Millions of people live their everyday lives without looking into each other’s eyes as a form of intimacy. We did it before the pandemic and we will continue.

Despite what sighted people think, we are not robbed of our joy because we don’t see each other’s faces. You shouldn’t be either.

These comments about not being able to connect because of not being able to see people’s faces tell me that people are unwilling to explore any other mechanism except sight, even though alternatives are still available.

I have gone for two years withoug being able to touch people, and I don’t mean feeling faces. I mean accepting guidance because I need assistance.

I have had to get accustomed to the changes in people’s voices, sometimes from one day to the next. I don’t have their hair color or other body features to rely on for identification.

On the other hand, a voice tone tells me if someone is friendly, if they are not feeling well, if they are grinning under their mask, if they’re tired.

If you’re Deaf, please celebrate seeing faces and I will celebrate with you. If you’ve made these comments b/c you are now comfortable again, please think about how that comes across to people who are blind.

It is not the faces that is the big deal. It is the offhand comments and callous disregard for the resources that exist, unwillingness to try different ways of connecting, and the fact that face dependence keeps you from truly connecting with someone like me.

Since I cannot look directly at you, we never truly connect and therefore I will not be a part of the post-pandemic community even when I go out into it. I will simply exist beside it.

I should add one last comment to this thread. I connect w/ my Deaf friends who depend on their sight. They do look at my face. I touch their hands, feel them move, hear them breathe and speak. Use all your modes to connect!