Thread by @TheRestlessQuil

My executive function has been a real challenge all my life. In my 20s, I managed to get things done purely by force of enthusiasm and idk a certain inherent buoyancy.
But ever since i can remember, I've never known how to prioritise properly, how much attention to give to +

What and how to organise my thoughts or my things in a way that would allow me easy access.

I was the girl who lost her wallet, keys, books, earrings, cards - basically everything - a minimum of four times a year.

Everyone who knew me was sick of crisis that would follow +

I'm 42, been in therapy for my #BPD, which really attacks executive function, for 7+ years in and off, of which last 3 have been stable and regular.

Two months ago, one of my kids, i don't recall which, came to me asking for something while i cooked. I gave exact

Instructions to where the thing was.

Cupboard under the painting, right side bottom corner. Something like that.

And forgot about it.

Two days ago, i heard 13 tell 12, ask Amma, she'll tell you exactly within an inch of where it is. I thought to myself it's nice for them to

To still have some pleasant illusions about me.

Because i can never find anything. Anything. All my life.

Today, 12 needed a passport size photo of his for some school trip. I looked everywhere, literally everywhere, because i know somewhere in a little envelope

There lies a stack. But do i know where the envelope is? No. I saw it recently but i don't know where.

My mind kept telling me look in your desk. But my other mind, the one that still believes I am who i was most my life, said Nah, you're not organised enough to keep it in your

Desk. So after looking everywhere, with growing dread, I finally resorted to digging through the drawers of my desk. And what di you know? Neatly marked by year, 3 sets of passport size pictures for each of us.

I took a moment to celebrate, acknowledge and recognise this moment

Those of you who are organised and sorted might think me silly and you'd be right 🤗
It is silly for the most part. But for me, it's another indication that all the work i do in therapy is bearing fruit.

It's a hurdle an obstacle I've had to cross for all my life. And now it's

Not. Now i know i can trust myself to look for things where they ought to be. And if i can trust myself, i don't need to get anxious and sweat the small stuff.

I can move on worrying about the bigger things like why I have an uncontrollable urge to buy bookshelves.

Btw, this thread, the way I tweeted it is in honour of my friend @gauravsabnis and his way of tweeting one by one instead of using the plus sign at the bottom, building the thread and then tweeting it out.