Hard conversations

Most people avoid them

You can learn to love them

What book would you add to this list?

🧵 👇 Hard Conversation Books
When you improve these skills:

- Listening
- Asking
- Regulating

Hard conversations become a little easier.

Here is why.
Listening creates connection.

To listen does not mean that you agree with someone.

It just means you accept the legitimacy of their view

And that you might learn from it.

Make listening easier by asking
Hard Conversations are high-pressure moments.

The easy thing to do is just "tell it how it is"

This shuts down learning.

You can make bad assumptions.

Instead, ask questions.

Stay curious.

The problem: our brains play these tricks on us.
Hard Conversations evoke the threat response.

We feel like our life is in danger.

You must regulate.

The best way is to breathe,

- Breathe out doubt.
- Breathe in opportunity.

Now it's time to prepare.
When you prepare with the right questions

Hard conversations become easier.

Here are 5:

- How will you structure it?
- How will you say it?
- Why will you say it?
- How will you create safety?
- What are your needs?

Now here are the REALLY hard conversations
The hardest conversations usually involve:

- Interpersonal Conflict
- Poor Performance
- Tough Negotiation
- Broken Relationships
- Difficult People

You make these a little easier by:

- Listening,
- Asking
- Regulating.
Every week I share tips

To help leaders grow

Here are some more

Hard conversations made easier:

tobysinclair.com/post/difficult…
If you like this, you will learn even more in my weekly newsletter

Join here: tobysinclair.com/post/curated-i…

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More from @TobySinclair_

Mar 10
Great questions at @ministryoftest Leadership AMA #TestBash

- How do you build emotional intelligence?
- How do you handle disruptive team members?
- What is the difference between coaching, mentoring, leadership?

Here are the books I referenced:

📚
You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy

tobysinclair.com/post/book-summ…
Read 9 tweets
Jan 7, 2021
Atomic Habits by @JamesClear is an incredible book.

The principles can help you and your organisation succeed.

Here is a thread on how to use Atomic Habits at work: Image
1/ Most summaries of Atomic Habits focus on change at home.

This is one is different.

It's curated especially for leaders, coaches and change agents who want to be successful at work.

I share 7 ideas and a key takeaway for you to get started.
2/ Idea 1 - Tiny improvements lead to remarkable results

Organisations assume big changes need big action. The reality, success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.
Read 11 tweets

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