Thread by @TobySinclair_

Hard conversations

Most people avoid them

You can learn to love them

What book would you add to this list?

🧵 👇

When you improve these skills:

- Listening
- Asking
- Regulating

Hard conversations become a little easier.

Here is why.

Listening creates connection.

To listen does not mean that you agree with someone.

It just means you accept the legitimacy of their view

And that you might learn from it.

Make listening easier by asking

Hard Conversations are high-pressure moments.

The easy thing to do is just "tell it how it is"

This shuts down learning.

You can make bad assumptions.

Instead, ask questions.

Stay curious.

The problem: our brains play these tricks on us.

Hard Conversations evoke the threat response.

We feel like our life is in danger.

You must regulate.

The best way is to breathe,

- Breathe out doubt.
- Breathe in opportunity.

Now it's time to prepare.

When you prepare with the right questions

Hard conversations become easier.

Here are 5:

- How will you structure it?
- How will you say it?
- Why will you say it?
- How will you create safety?
- What are your needs?

Now here are the REALLY hard conversations

The hardest conversations usually involve:

- Interpersonal Conflict
- Poor Performance
- Tough Negotiation
- Broken Relationships
- Difficult People

You make these a little easier by:

- Listening,
- Asking
- Regulating.

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Hard conversations made easier:

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