Making friends as an adult is hard. Keeping friends as an adult is even harder. The @amersurveyctr report on friendships shows that Americans report having fewer close friendships than before. My thoughts on why 🧵
Early to mid adulthood sees a lot of life transitions: moving to different cities to pursue education, jobs, or going with romantic partners. Choosing to become a digital nomad vs staying in your hometown can impact your friendship.
Difference in income. This is the one no one talks about. Some friends might hit the 100K jobs while others are struggling to make 70K. This income disparity creates a disconnect in lifestyle and can result in you growing apart.
Political leanings. Sometimes change their political stance as they grow, have children or experience other life milestones. Major political talking points (guns, abortion, immigration) can cause rifts in friendships sometimes.
Priorities change as we grow older. Some folks love spending time at restaurants, while others prefer watching sports at home. Time becomes a limited resource as we grow up, so we become picky about how we’re spend it.
Everyone’s life seems to suddenly be moving at a different pace. Some people get married in their 20s, others wait until later. Different relationship statuses change availability and interest in what you’re doing.
Partners not getting along. This one is a tough one. Sometimes adult friendships fade because the partner might not like them, or vice versa.
Chronic busy-ness. In a toxic productivity culture, sometimes even when we want to see people and be there for them, overpacked schedules and competing obligations get in the way.
Some solid friendships survive the turmoil of the transitions of adulthood. If you have good friends in your life, hold on to them. If you’re looking to make new friends - go out into the world. I support you! #therapisttwitter #therapistconnect
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