Kashmir Files has given us one more opportunity to look at how we react to others' trauma.
This is important skill beacuse as parents we are constantly puzzled by need to give "appropriate" reaction to children's experiences.
Let's see how we can help.
First principle - hear it out.
If you let children talk about their experience without interruption, they will be able to verbalize their feelings and that act itself is helpful as brain finds words to express and contain distress.
Do not ask for justification of feeling - there is never a justification for an emotion. It is a natural reflex.
All explanations are post-hoc justifications. They have no real meaning.
Same experience is perceived differently by different people and all experiences are valid.
☝🏼this is the most important point.
Telling people how their experience of distress is "wrong" and pushing them towards "correct" explanations is "invalidation of experience"
You want to invalidate other people's experiences only when you are interested in making them feel inadequate, inauthentic and stupid.
Invalidating is a potent mechanism to undermine self esteem of a person.
1. Hearing out, 2. Reflection / verbalization of emotion 3. asking them if it is getting too much for them and 4. how can you help? are sensible supportive steps to respond to emotional pain of others especially your loved ones (that includes children).
If you have a child starting physical school or physical exams after a break of 2 years AND they are getting scared, please read this thread.
Many children are really happy to be back in school and have started school with all the enthusiasm that is contagious to entire household.
But some kids (especially exam facing kids) have developed fear / anxiety.
They report poor sleep, tiredness, restlessness and agitation, poor appetite and fluctuating mood. They seem to oversleep in the day or distract themselves with media binges.
Some also report forgetfulness and "blankness" esp about exams and studies.
As a psychiatrist, I can't claim knowledge of world politics. What I understand a bit is about personalities and systems of people called society.
So when I hear people talking about "personalities" of leaders of nations, here is what comes to my mind. #Thread
Some leaders are lucky to have right pedigree, being there at inflection point of history and some sense of opportunity.
They are not "fight and conquer" leaders. They pretty much get coronated as leaders.
If they are in a democracy or lead a country that is irrelevant
to larger forces of the world, they are generous, benevolent, liberal and talk of "integration" etc.
If such leaders are from a military dominated country, they need to be ruthless and cruel to section opposing them but generous and friendly to neutrals and supporters.
This is an important moment.
Equality is not part of MBBS curriculum. Issues faced by LGBTQ+ community due to ignorance of doctors will hopefully be thing of the past.
I have been part of this effort with my colleague Bindumadhav Khire.
Pl read on -
This steps removed all the references pointing towards disease, disorder etc.
Established variations in sexuality and preferences as normal human sexuality.
MBBS students will get a chance to learn - 1. How to conduct an interview when sexuality is being discussed
2. How to do educative work with family 3. How to identify distress and how to help 4. Protecting vulnerable people from illegal conversion therapies etc.
#Hijab
As a father of two young adults, I wanted to know their opinion about ongoing hijab issue.
What I heard from them was a great relief to me as a father.
They came to a conclusion that it is a multilayered question so answer changes
according to the specific question you decide to solve. And answers may even appear contradictory to each other. Some levels - 1. Who should decide what people choose to wear? 2. At what age do people become independent adults? 3. Is religion forced on children?
4. How does our constitution protect kids from religious compulsions of family (e.g. anti blood products views of certain sects)? 5. Do we live a segregated country? Is it inevitable? 6. How do children (majority and minority) look at other children practicing their religion?