#Hijab
As a father of two young adults, I wanted to know their opinion about ongoing hijab issue.
What I heard from them was a great relief to me as a father.
They came to a conclusion that it is a multilayered question so answer changes
according to the specific question you decide to solve. And answers may even appear contradictory to each other. Some levels - 1. Who should decide what people choose to wear? 2. At what age do people become independent adults? 3. Is religion forced on children?
4. How does our constitution protect kids from religious compulsions of family (e.g. anti blood products views of certain sects)? 5. Do we live a segregated country? Is it inevitable? 6. How do children (majority and minority) look at other children practicing their religion?
7. Who can make rules for educational institutes where religion and behaviour is concerned? 8. Can exclusionary rules be justified? (We agreed that public institutions can't have exclusionary rules but didn't agree on pvt institutions)
9. Are separate educational institutes required to protect learning of religious practices? 10. What authority is supreme in democracy?
Just a string of serious questions that produce difficult answers.
But it is important that these questions are discussed
And everything should not be reduced to a single question and single answer.
Life is complicated especially when we choose to live in a rights based society.
I can't answer these questions but I hope you all discuss these in your families
So that our children realise that life and decisions are not black and white. Scale changes answers and they can be contradictory to each other.
Simplistic answers are almost always wrong and misleading. Simple answers usually help a small power hungry group.
My conclusion for my personal reference - whenever a pointed question is asked, I must look at the scale and associated questions. My answer must be given with a specific context and limitations of that scale.
Simple answers are misleading.
Myths - 1. Family conditions push boys to violence in "good" families 2. Violent adolescents need help from counsellors and psychiatrists and not be reported to police 3. If mother uses corporal punishment on a child, he is somehow justified in beating her up later
4. Juveniles get away with "anything". Law does not get involved at all.
When you feel like giving advice to kids, few things may help - 1. Don't. Yes. You read it right. Don't give advice. Because that is all they receive all the time. They have no way to know that your advice is the one to follow. 2. You actually walking the talk MAY help. contd..
But don't count too much on it. As there are literally millions at your level of success in life. 3. Children are acutely aware of how time changes and requirements change so your advice may seem (justifyably) outdated.
4. They look around and live in a world created, maintained and ruled by adults. Does it look awesome? 5. They see you all the time and know you better than you do yourself. And they are harsh judges.
So unless a child really begs for advice, don't give.
Young people appearing for high intensity entrance exams like NEET, JEE, NATA, KVPY need mental health help sometimes.
I have worked with them since last 20 years as their psychiatrist and mental coach.
Here is what I have seen over 2 decades of work - #Thread
1. Exams are getting more competitive each year and require more work from "above average" students 2. A small fraction at top e.g. 700+ NEET score, top 200 of JEE, etc are a class apart. They are gifted with π§ that work very differently.
They have intuitive understanding of subject matter, they make connections easily, they have inhuman ability to focus for a few hours (4-6 per day) and do 20 hours worth of work in that time. They just need teacher to point to a π― and they get it.
Their work is effortless
#Thread
This session was arranged by Sneh NGO. They work with underprivileged families. Prevention, early detection and treatment of mal-nutrition is a large part of their work.
About 120 parents participated in the session. 20 min of talk and 40min Q&A.
Our aim was to sensitize parents to mental health issues early on in child's life and give them practical, usable and scientifically sound tips.
Background of participants - all in their 20s, some in early 30s. 1or 2 child families, single room residence. Electricity, water and toilet at a premium.
some parents leave their children alone at home and go to work. Neighbors keep an eye on such kids.
My yearly rant about Gandhigiri as I understand it - 1. It is not about giving roses to people running red lights. 2. One must have a clear ethical stand to defend. 3. Opposing party is seen as misinformed or wrongly motivated. 4. Method is -
a. talks to understand each other's
position.
b. Appraising them about injustice, harm and suffering caused by their actions
c. Highlighting moral, human and legal wrongness of their actions
d. Providing solutions and co-operation in implementing those solutions. Looking for a win-win 5. If this fails - satyagraha
i.e. non violent opposition to unjust rules. Not causing suffering to others or the uninvolved. No collateral damage. 6. Pushing opposition in a corner with gradual escalation techniques to shame them. 7. If they resort to violence - bear that violence at the cost of own life