Idk what the TERF said this time and I don't care to. But I've seen enough folks talking to know our agency is being questioned again. And during #AutismAcceptanceMonth of all times.
I'm autistic. I'm transgender. Y'all are just gonna have to get used to us existing.
As autistic people there's a lot we don't get agency over.
For the love of god. Letting us assert our own genders is some of the most basic control you can give us over our own lives.
We have higher rates of being trans & nonbinary. Get used to it.
Why are there higher rates of trans & nonbinary identities?
We don't know yet, because the only thing people like to study in the #autism field is how to make us be less autistic.
But stop assuming nefarious reasons.
One theory? We're more likely to question social norms.
Maybe we aren't actually all that much more likely to be trans & nonbinary.
Consider the fact that the gender binary & gender roles are bullshit. And autistic people are often more likely to call out and question bullshit social expectations that make no sense. NTs conform.
Maybe y'all are just more likely to keep playing cis to appeal to social expectations. 🤷🏻
Or, maybe autistic people are actually more likely to be trans. Could be.
It really doesn't matter "why" as much as it matters that you accept us as we are & allow us that agency.
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Once when I was working at a retail place, they hired a person about 10 years younger than me. Some things started coming up at work and the employee eventually revealed an autism dx to explain.
Boss complained to me privately that this should have been disclosed in interview.
It seemed to me that the point was... they wouldn't have been hired if boss had known they were autistic. And that it was "wrong" to not be transparent about that.
I was one of their favorite employees. Talked often about how fast a learner I am. They liked me there.
All I had disclosed in interview was that I had a sensory processing disability and would need to wear earplugs at work.
So I told my boss then and there that I'm autistic too and that's where the SPD comes from.
Boss back tracked into things like how I "deal with it" better.
I used to work at one of those paint & sip studios where people come in to be taught step by step how to paint a specific kitschy painting.
Once one of the inebriated women was particularly distressed about her lack of painting skill and asking me to help her with every step.
This happens fairly often. Sometimes they just want me to paint the whole thing for them. I encourage them to try but ultimately help as much as people want. Not everyone is there to learn.
But this woman turned and looked at me and whined -
"I paint like an autistic child"
As her autistic painting instructor, I just stood there in shock for a moment, then continued showing her techniques on her painting. Ignored the microagression.
At the time I was worried about anything I said upsetting her & having that negatively impact me or my studio.
Often when I'm talking to non-autistic people, they don't know about the DSM 5 change to the all-encompassing Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I explain and they react negatively - under the assumption that I'm unhappy about this because of their impression that I'm "high functioning"
But here's the thing... first of all, "functioning" isn't so clear cut. I need more support than people expect. And my autism is in fact a disability. People need to see this.
But even if it weren't, the reasoning for seeing this change as upsetting is built on ableism.
What's your point?
That we shouldn't be labeled autistic because I pass as "normal" better & can mask?
Because you think this label somehow drags me down & I need a seperate one so people know I'm not "that kind" of autistic?
I'm flying home today & my sister took me to the airport & walked me up to the counter. We had my ticket marked for developmental disability and she asked if someone would walk me to the gate to help me navigate. The worker asked if *she* wanted to take me to the gate instead.
I had no idea that this was something you can do and it's the best thing???
I expected to have to go with a worker who would have no idea what I actually do & don't need help with... which would mean a lot of conversation with a person I don't know... In a crowded airport where it's difficult to process language and have conversation in the first place.
A little over a month ago, my best friend told me that being friends with me was a "mistake" because I'm not a "good enough" friend (the reason he specifically gave was that it was because I couldn't visit him after I had major surgery).
This set back my OCD treatment a lot because my most severe OCD is morality OCD and centered on being good enough. He knew that.
He became suddenly more angry & aggressive when I had friends come into town to visit. That was the week before he said all that. It triggered trauma & safety concerns because of some angry & jealous things he said and some unwanted sexual jokes & comments directed at me.
I'm a nonbinary trans guy & it took me a long time to accept. But since changing my online info & profile picture to a more explicitly masc presentation, the amount of unwanted sexual attention I have gotten on the internet has gone down by like 95%
I'd get more d*ck pics in a month as a femme presenting *minor* than I have in the past year.
God it's been ages since I've gotten a random DM from a stranger calling me beautiful & proposing marriage.