Thread by @WeAreDisabled

Last thread: Neurotypical's Guide to Friendship with an autistic person.

Don't worry, the bar is very low here.

#ActuallyAutistic
#AutismAcceptanceMonth
#AutismAwarenessMonth
#Friendship

1) Don't mock them.

2) Let them stim.

Don't try to hold them back or make fun of them. Read Rule 1.

3) Give them the space they need.

Sometimes it could be a quiet corner alone, or quiet corner with you, or a park where you can ride the swings, or a beach where you can watch the waves stim.

4) Sometimes they will repeat the same words. It is a form of stimming. It is called echolalia.

Read Rule 1.

5) Sometimes they will laugh out loud. It could be because:
- of echolalia,
- they have disassociated from the room and are thinking of something else,
- they interpreted what you said differently which was funny for them,
- they are stressed and laughing helps,
- you are funny.

6) Text before calling, unless it is an SOS.

This is to avoid surprises. Read Rule 16.

7) Don't play pranks on them.

IRL Life is a prank enough

8) Understand their sensory needs.

If they say this place is too loud, believe them. Don't say - "you are so senstive" or "what are you talking about" or some such.

9) Respect their routine.

Sometimes it can be how they live everyday, sometimes it can be how they say goodbye, or sometimes it can be as small as the first five things they do in the morning.

10) Respect their interest(s).

Sometimes it can be a childlike interest according to you.

Unless it is causing active harm to someone, it should not concern you.

11) If you are a part of a "group", chances are that your autistic friend feels left out.

Sometimes when someone is in need of space, the group defaults to ignoring the person.

Don't take it personally when they say no to your invites.

Invite them. They will come if they can.

12) Don't use unnecessary sarcasms, and innuendoes.

Sometimes it is too tiring to constantly look for double meanings and reading between the lines.

Say as it is.

It is simpler and you can avoid miscommunication.

13) Don't compare them with that autistic person your friend's neighbour told you about.

It will be akin to us comparing you to that other "person without autism" we know of.

14) If they're in distress, give them space to recover.

How can you help?

Try&observe their stims when they are not in distress. What do they do when they feel most at home?

Ask them what makes them comfortable when you are not in distress. That way, you will know what to do.

15) While participating in a task/activity, try to break down steps as much as possible.

Don't club tasks.

Break them up.

Each activity, howsoever small and obvious, should be listed separately.

16) If it's someone who doesnt like surprises, don't spring last minute changes on them frequently.

If circumstances demand that you change plans, check in with them to see if they're okay.

Depending on spoons, sometimes we're okay. But frequent changes can cause panic.

17) If you're low on spoons, go do something that comforts you.

But do not take it out on them.

You can say things like "Hey, I am tired. I will go rest and do something by myself. I hope you understand"

We will. We often need them too.

18) Be kind

19) Don't make fun of other neuro-atypicals.

We can see your ableism.
We know deep down this is how you could feel about us.

20) Be a friend.

Seriously, it is not a very big ask.

@threadreaderapp unroll please :)