Thread by @astarte73

I critiqued the 1st 5 pp for 15 authors & made a list of common edit suggestions. It's neither exhaustive nor universal, but I hope they help.

I'll likely turn this into 3-4 threads for length

1st: WHY IT MATTERS
& Common writing tips
1/16
#RevPit #WritingCommunity

WHY?

Busy agents/editors need to be hooked by a great query before they'll even glance at pages.

IF they open pp, they need to be sucked right in. Hopefully by first few lines.

This is PRIME REAL ESTATE that you can't afford to waste!

2/16

100,000's of queries are sent each year. Maybe millions.

You must show why yours is one that deserves attention.

Most queries are rejected b/c there isn't time to spend on a concept that hasn't been fully articulated.

It must be FRESH & also relatable to known sales
3/16

Also, you need to prove that your VIBRANT twist on a familiar concept can ONLY BE WRITTEN BY YOU

I know; you believe familiar = dull

But familiar = less risk for publishers

You need to figure out the sweet spot to write something unique and ultimately sellable

4/16

What's the 1st critical element?
VOICE

It's yours, it's unique,

It's the one thing that you can't be taught.

I'll read *anything* written by an author whose voice I adore.

But there are elements to voice that you can work on to deepen yours if it's not quite there

5/16

First, I'm a believer that we need exposure to your MC ASAP.

Opening a scene looking at a diff character makes it difficult to imprint on the correct one & leaves your reader confused.

Who're we journeying with?

Confusion leaves an easy path to rejection.

6/16

Also, if it matters to the story, drop some clues about age, rank, grade level earlier than not.

It helps establish a relationship w/your MC & gives understanding about why what they tell us is important.

Age isn't *always* vital up front but, a 24 yo IS diff from 44

7/16

Speech patterns = big deal

Often, authors use formal language to reflect historical/fantasy fic. I say don't.

English speaking people have always used contractions. Modern readers use them. We speak with them in dialogue almost always

Read it out loud & see for yourself
8/16

*this goes for characters in a non-English speaking world, too!

Human dialogue is quick & we condense as much as we can via contractions.

Use them in prose, too--esp if contemporary. Keeps the reader in the flow of inner monologue

Read it aloud, you'll quickly notice!

9/16

In my private writing, I toally overuse !!!!!!!!

In fiction, they feel like cheats to me.

Don't rely on an ! to make your point (ha!)

Use verbal cues and action beats.

Your characters & world will thank you for it.

I'm going to throw a quick example next tweet

10/16

"I love you!" he said.

Yawn.

"I love you." His eyes dropped for a second, ears pinkening.

Ok, not great BUT

2nd version SHOWS his emotions. Possibly shy/in disbelief that the words came out of his mouth.

More lifelike & shows his character.

Trust me on this one!

11/16

Don't throw an "asked" after every ?. The punctuation shows it's a question, don't be redundant.

(hey, we all do it, but lets try to get out of the habit!)

"Did you get invited?" Mom steadfastly arranged the tulips. She already knew the answer.

Building all the things

12/16

Those action beats & tonal cues do doubletime, and in the opening pp esp, you need to get a lot of foundation built.

It's a good wat to show vs tell

You don't need to explain everything to your reader--we can all pick up on the cues if you drop them the right way!

13/16

Another oft used technique:

Using a conversation to breadcrumb information for your reader.

When it works = brilliant

Usually, it's information that both characters already know, so it's awkward.

Google, "As you know, Bob"

You'll thank me!

14/16

When possible, use active verbs. It makes it all flow much better.

And skip the "begins to/tries to" because even though we speak that way, we can't begin to open a can. We open the can.

We started to sing.

We were singing.

We sang.

15/16

That’s all for this thread—I’ve got a few more coming today and will open a Patreon account this week for more in-depth writing tips! (I'll pin it to my profile, so check back if interested!)

We'll go deep into deep POV, Show vs Tell, & more common tips coming up!

16/16

Here’s another thread!

https://twitter.com/astarte73/status/1515695848889401350

And if you stumbled across this and think you’d enjoy a one on one chat for your sub package: patreon.com/posts/65250755