Thread by @DrakeandDice

Yeah, okay. See, you have to understand that every dragon tastes unlike any other dragon. So let's walk through the Fifth Edition monster manual and get some tasting notes on every dragon for the nerdy epicurians and epicurious out there, shall we?

#TTRPG #5e #NoTrueDragons

https://twitter.com/titanomachyRPG/status/1519130394192494592

Black: Robust but fine-grained, black dragon meat calls to mind duck; subtly smoky, lush with natural oils and fork-tender when prepared with care. Underdone, it stings the lips and tongue. You'll want to roast it, but don't. Reverse-sear and handle carefully.

Blue: More like alligator, blue dragon prime cuts are the muscles of an ambush predator built for quick, explosive power. Tends to be dry and tough, so a long, slow braise in a master-stock is best. When it shreds easily, it's perfect for piling high on a brioche bun.

Green: Like a rattlesnake, but with a deep, almost primordial note. Succulent and moist, but with a truffle-esque earthiness toward the back of the palate. Roast this one. Best when the flames above the spit stop flaring that pale green.

Red: Rather like venison if we're being honest. There's a gaminess that comes of arrogance and avarice and it's bone deep. But here's the trick. The masseters of those killing jaws are best served sliced razor thin and raw. Which is for the best. Most of the meat laughs at fire.

White: Haunch is best on the white dragons, cured in salt and shaved thin. Do a poor job of it, or take the dragon in summer, and you end up with something passable on roadbread. Right after first frost, when it's marbled through for winter? Magic. Luscious. Melt in your mouth.

There's for the Chromatics. Good eating all.

Now Metallics...well...I need another cup of coffee.

Is this helpful? Should I do the Metallics? Would it be better if I scribbled down some of my favorite recipes? I'm out of touch with the Dragon crowd and I'm not sure if this kind of nonsense is necessary...

Okay, twist my arm. Metallics. Let's start at one end and when we've cleaned our plate, we'll maybe move onto some more esoteric dragons for a finish. Good plan? Great plan.

Brass: Those wings? Look at the base of them. Trim flat and smoke it like a brisket. Dense muscle fibers, very lean, but that connective tissue renders molten and yields a lovely mouthfeel. However, take care not to overindulge. Brass dragon tends to make you rather sleepy.

Bronze: The plate-steak is bes, right under the rib. Thinner and more delicate than you'd expect with a good fatcap where it meets the belly. Slice it like a tri-tip and grill over open flame. Perfect for tacos, season well. Fiery peppers mask any remaining repulsion gas residue.

Copper: They taste kind of funny. Eh? Eh? You're going to want to go with the tenderloin, not the tongue though. Best done confit, because the jokesters have a dry wit if you get my drift. The taste is rather more turkey than chicken, a little woodsier with a delicate sweetness.

Gold: This is a weird one, but follow me through. That lovely tail there, is an extension of the primary flight muscle. One long luscious muscle group. Slice against the grain and sear. Let it kiss hot metal and it's tender, sweet, vaguely fishy. Think high quality tuna.

Silver: Ribs. Hands down. Low and slow barbacoa style. Banked coals in a pit, covered with dense leaves. The musculature required for a Silver dragon's breath weapons is suited to long cook times. Naturally rather salty and unctuous, smoke, fire, and time makes it a marvel.