Thread by @jmariemorgan

This is an example of the way our #trauma can become our traits.

A quick 🧵:

1/9

https://twitter.com/jryussuf/status/1530913636696350720

.When we begin thinking similarly to the friends of the main person speaking, it’s often because we ourselves have experienced a lack of safety or betrayal in groups… and often respectively.

As a result, we’ve had to repetitively stay in a self-protective stance in groups.

2/9

.When we’re constantly put in situations where we need to be self-protective, that trauma response runs a higher risk of becoming a trait:

a way of behaving/being that we STAY in even when we don’t have to.

3/9

.In the case of this video, we’re seeing the shadow side of #PolyVagalTheory at work.

When our nervous system stays in a self-protective stance, it is nearly impossible for our nervous system to be open to social engagement or group hospitality at the same time.

4/9

.This is a human mechanism. Our trauma becoming our traits doesn’t make us “bad people,” but it does demonstrate the need for us to become aware of and actively participate in the healing of our trauma.

When we don’t, we run the risk of duplicating social harm for others.

5/9

.For example, imagine (or recall) a scenario in which you didn’t feel welcomed by/in a group.

You likely end up in a self-protective stance yourself: withdrawn or reactive, perceiving negativity in others’ actions, etc.

Then you likely spread that stance to someone else.

6/9

.We’re social beings. We automatically mirror and react to the emotional/affective states of others with whom we’re proximate.

So automatically self-protective stances “spread” and multiply within groups.

7/9

.What often helps us heal is just one person— like the main person speaking in this video— who has a nervous system just slightly more calm and more socially engaged than the rest of the people around them to stall the wave of self-protectiveness by being hospitable and kind

8/9

.You’ll notice though: it takes a LOT of energy for one person to push back against SEVERAL people stuck in a self-protective stance.

When traumas become traits for groups, there’s a lot of momentum needed to reorient the self-protective cycle. I still believe it’s worth it.
9/9

**and often repetitively

not “respectively” in tweet 2/9

🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️