(1/15) Here's a #mentalhealth thread from a #Realtor: sometimes it doesn't matter how strongly you start your day, the smallest things can make your chest constrict and your heart race. There is no rhyme or reason to panic attacks or anxiety attacks. Sometimes, they just happen.
(2/15) What's hard is being in an industry that requires timeliness, 100% engagement, and the appearance of perpetual availability. This doesn't jive well with anxiety and can often lead to catastrophizing and spiraling at the smallest provocation.
(3/15) My industry rewards success with more work. In & of itself, this isn't bad. It's great. But the expectation of availability gets worse - not better - with more business. In the last four years, I haven't had a single vacation where I wasn't stressed or anxious about work.
(4/15) And on several vacations I actually did work - on one occasion, I supervised a closing in Philly from a bar in Budapest. I revised a contract a 11pm in Paris for a deadline back home. I wrote a contract on my cellphone from Tea Dance in PTown.
(5/15) I love my job. Genuinely. But I have noticed that even my best clients don't understand that - despite having a small team of agents - I am one person. And as one person, I get burned out, frustrated, exhausted, etc like everyone else.
(6/15) Add to all of that the low bar of professionalism in the #realestate industry. The number of other agents I end up encountering who are rude, unkind, and lack any sense of cooperation is unbelievably high. It adds to the burden of trying to do things differently.
(7/15) I started selling real estate because I wanted a career that allowed me freedom and flexibility. I wanted to get to know people and go on one of life's most daunting journeys with them, side-by-side. I love that about my job.
(8/15) Some days, the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I get to be part of other people's lives - forming new relationships and celebrating milestones. Getting to the closing table and seeing the joy in my clients' faces when they receive their keys is thrilling.
(9/15) But for the last 6 months I've been struggling. Hard. I've lost a lot of my joy. I've lost the sense of excitement I used to have every time I picked up a new client. Closing day doesn't have the same sense of celebration. For the first time, work has been a burden.
(10/15) A lot of that is due to my anxiety. A lot of it is due to everyone just sort of ignoring the trauma of 2020/21. And I don't really know how to fix it, turn it around. But I do know that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to stop being a Realtor.
(11/15) I may not like my job right now, but I do love the work I do. I'm just asking for a little grace as I figure out how to reclaim that joy - starting with a couple small trips this summer. I'm hoping I get to unplug and refresh a bit.
(12/15) I'm also putting all this out there, not for sympathy, but for honesty. I haven't been my best self for awhile, and I know my friendships and relationships have suffered for it. I know my business, in some ways, has as well. I'm figuring out how to navigate this season.
(13/15) But doing it silently just doesn't feel like a good option anymore. As Buechner writes: "We are our secrets. They are the essence of what makes us ourselves...If we are ever to be free and whole, we must be free from their darkness and have their spell over us broken."
(14/15) So, hi. I'm Dan. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I am a people-pleaser, and too often I find my worth in how I perceive others view me. Sometimes my anxiety is crippling. Sometimes it isn't. I love that my work lets me help people realize a dream.
(15/15) I have an amazing husband, a beautiful home, a wonderful family, and incredibly loyal friends. I am blessed in just about every sense of the word. I am terrified about the state of our world - socially, politically, and environmentally. And I'm doing the best I can.
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