Thread by @elysekiera

I have been stuck in bed and within one room for almost 15 years now. I have learned over time to let go ( as many of us have) in the most impossible and profound of ways. To watch life pass by, to observe…. #cfs #mecfs #pmwe #longcovid #lymedisease #lyme

the rest of the world move forward, while sitting from the sidelines, from behind the metaphorical glass window pane. Friends going to college, discovering themselves, starting careers, traveling, buying homes, getting married, having babies,

starting families.
All things that I have craved with my whole heart to also be able to do but the severity of my condition has simply not allowed it. Having severe M.E. and also late stage Lyme disease is a prison sentence for many, an unexplainable and ..

inhumane existence, especially as a young person.
It is a life of solitary confinement within your own body and the outer walls of one room.
I try my absolute hardest to make the very best out of this, however it is no easy task….

when you are a passionate lover of life.

This illness has taught me to live for the smallest of moments and joys.
To continue to exist and push forward even if this life feels unsurvivable. Many times a week and/or many times a day, I ask myself, is this life worth continuing ?

How can I possibly keep doing this or living this way, it feels barbaric in the 21st century to be subjected to such suffering day in and day out.

But then I put a decadent piece of chocolate into my mouth, listen to the melody of one of my favorite songs, read a beautiful and descriptive poem, see a yellow bird painted with black polkadots floating in the air outside of my window or gaze into the loving eyes of my mom

tending to me whilst I lay stuck in my bed and realize I can’t end it just yet.
There is still, STILL too much left even in the rubble. There are still reasons to smile, moments that move me, as fleeting as they are.

They are what I live for now, more then ever before.