So, get comfy, this is going to be long. But it is very important. #cdnpoli #RoeVWade #TruthAndReconciliation

I am going to try to work through this thought process, and I welcome correction from voices I respect...
@ironbow I especially want your take on this.
I am a Canadian woman. I have stood up for the rights of women and girls all my life. I also have sought to be an ally for Indigenous issues and BLM and the LGBTQ2+ community. Everyone has rights. Whether they are recognized or not.
When Roe V Wade was overturned 2 days ago, I felt it deeply. Yes, that is in the US, and so far, only about half the states have a ban. But it is robbing women of their human rights. I felt that deeply for them, and also
grew even more concerned about the movement in Canada that seeks to rob Canadian women of those same rights. Because that movement exists. Anti-choice candidates are promoted by groups like Campaign for Life in Canada.
A lot of money and effort goes into getting these people elected.

I felt grief and rage for my American sisters, and fear for Canadian women. Because there are deep-pocketed organizations that want to see this happen here as well.
In entering the discussion about R V W, it became clear that there were men who defended the SCOTUS decision. And there were many men who tried to tell Canadian women that we shouldn't worry our pretty little heads about it, it can't happen here.
But, knowing what I do about the anti-choice movement in Canada, I know that all that stands between women having these rights and losing them, is an unfortunate surfeit of conservative parties getting elected at the provincial and federal levels.
But then there were the men who popped up and interjected themselves into conversations, saying they felt so much about this, they were heartbroken, they knew just how we felt, they were allies and they shared our pain and rage...
And I dare say, some were just feeling and reaching out and really wanting to be supportive. But some of them, it suddenly became clear to me, were wanting their feelings attended to. They wanted validation. They wanted a pat on the head and to be told they're a good boy.
Because that's what we do, as women, isn't it? We stop doing what we're doing and validate men's feelings. We put our own feelings on the back burner so we can do the emotional work of making guys feel good about themselves. And it made me very angry.
But this anti-abortion movement, this taking away rights from women movement, it's about control. It's about patriarchy. And even if the nicest guy totally rejects patriarchy, he does benefit from it. He gets paid more. He is more likely to be promoted. It's not his fault.
It's how the system works. And that, all by itself, is enraging. But so many of these guys were completely oblivious about how they are complicit in the patriarchal system. You don't see your own privilege. Not unless you really work at it. And you have to be aware to do that.
I told one guy that popped up that this was not a good time to interject himself and his feelings into the conversation. If he wanted to be an ally, great, but don't burden us right now with your feelings, because you really don't know how we feel.
Women are feeling a lot of rage and a lot of grief over this, even if it is in another country. We don't have the emotional capacity to do that work for men right now. He didn't like that. He called me a "feminazi". So, I guess he wasn't really a good guy after all.
But, in this process, and working through why I felt so angry with him and other similar men, I had an epiphany. What he did is just like what people of white, European, settler/colonizer heritage do.
We jump in with our feelings of shame and guilt. Like when unmarked graves are found. We feel bad, and we want to DO SOMETHING. But we have no business burdening Indigenous people with our feelings. Indigenous people are dealing with a lot.
They do not need, want, or deserve the burden of making us feel better about ourselves. Just like women, right now, do not need, want, or deserve the burden of making men (even nice men who want to be allies) feel better about themselves.
This has been a big learning experience for me. I am certainly guilty of thoughtlessly trying too hard. If you want to be an ally, listen. Be still. Learn. Gently, maybe, indicate you are here to be helpful. Then be silent again. When your help is wanted, you will be called.
Until then, deal with your own emotions. Don't look to the victims/survivors of a system you benefit from to make you feel better.

That's it. That's what I needed to say. Thanks for reading this far.

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More from @Norlaine

Jun 27
We are seeing a thing happening in Canadian political discourse that is completely contrary to democracy. We are seeing people, almost exclusively on the far-right, trying to silence any other voices. You can't have democracy without a variety of voices.
Democracy means everyone has a voice, even if it's only at the ballot box. But we have the freedom to write letters, emails, and call our representatives to tell them how we feel about an issue. We have the freedom to speak publicly about how we feel about issues.
But there are those, on social media and in real life, who strive to silence any voices that disagree with them. They do it by trolling, hounding people with whataboutisms, insults, spurious attacks, and threats.
Read 24 tweets
Jun 25
My feelings today are a mix of grief and rage for my American sisters. And anxiety for Canada. And it is not about me. I am not going to be pregnant again. Just need to say that for those who don't understand why someone would care about anything that doesn't affect them directly
And there are a lot of people like that. I don't know how we can get people to understand that we all need to care about each other. We are a collective organism. When we hurt other people, we ultimately hurt ourselves.
If we decide to cut way back on education, we eventually have a society where the people we rely on for making bridges that don't fall down, health care that heals people, and putting in pipes that don't leak, don't have a good education. Haven't been taught to think.
Read 10 tweets
Jun 23
I bet some of you never noticed this, and those who did have forgotten it. Pierre Poilievre tried to launch a scandal against the PM, claiming he was building a "secret palace" at taxpayers' expense. Let me fill you in....
#cdnpoli
The National Capital Commission, who oversees the maintenance on publicly owned buildings in Ottawa and area, got approval from Parliament to do necessary renovations on the Harrington Lake property while Harper was PM.
It is an old structure. Old buildings need work. The Harper government, of which Poilievre was a part, approved the plan to do maintenance and renovations. Harper spent most summers there and said he would like to retire there, although the property is for the use of the PM...
Read 8 tweets
Jun 23
I often get attacked 4 having pronouns in my profile. I can only conclude that those attacking have serious hatred for the LGBTQ2+ community. They make assumptions. They make rude remarks. It's vile & ugly, but I know it's only a small fraction of what the queer community endures
It is wrong and I have to wonder what makes some people think they can talk to others like that. I have trans friends who are intentionally misgendered, laughed at, abused. What makes anyone think it is OK to be cruel to another person? How were these people raised?
It's not funny. It's deeply unkind. Like racism & misogyny, we have to make homophobia & transphobia, and all the hatred & abuse of people who are not just like us, socially unacceptable. Abusing others for your own amusement should not be tolerated. That's schoolyard bullying.
Read 5 tweets
Jun 16
I just watched this evening's "Blackballed" podcast with @jamesdifiore and guests, including David Wallace (@Pick61989) and Nathan Jacobson, Justin Ling and @ryanlindley. For the first time I got organized to watch it live. I have some observations. 1/25
To preface, there was a bit of Twitter hostility going on leading up to this podcast. Justin Ling had posted a thing where he appeared to be quite dismissive of the #KlondikePapers and the people involved in presenting the story. 2/25
KP enthusiasts were angry that this presumed goldmine was being dissed. Wallace was angry at what he identified as incorrect assertions in the post. Jacobson felt he had been misrepresented. Di fiore felt he was being dissed as some sort of shock jock. 3/25
Read 26 tweets
Jun 15
To be perfectly honest, I would like to know what about "the white race" people think is so f*cking special anyway. Let's start with, we get skin cancer just from going for walks, jogging, swimming, gardening, any outdoor activity... 1/12
Never mind the idiots who lie in the sun on purpose. Melanoma can kill you. And we are genetically engineered to be particularly susceptible because white = no protection from sunlight. No melanin in our skin. Big evolutionary fail there. 2/12
And historically, we are violent, arrogant, greedy, oppressive, intolerant... Many cultures never hit their children before Europeans showed up and made that a thing. We have done a lot of damage in the world. 3/12
Read 12 tweets

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