Thread by @TheKTLe

@TedLasso Chronicles, #4… because I don’t really know what to call these things I write…

On Beard

1/

Prologue: about the Beard episode- I have no idea. This isn’t about Beard After Hours. Apologies, I still don’t fully get that one *dodges flying objects thrown by Beard stans*
2/

Also: I don’t know some of what I’m writing here- I’m no psychologist. These are my hunches.

Ted Lasso, tho, isn’t about father/son relationships as lots say, it’s a loving portrayal of the intense subject of trauma told in a brilliantly funny and relatable way.
3/

Coach Beard illustrates a very different aspect of trauma than I’ve written about before. While Ted, Nate, and Jamie’s stories encompass the aftermath of childhood trauma, Beard’s shows the beginning.
4/

Beard is quietly, tremendously observant and thoughtful about what he sees (and reads). He spots trauma in process, in the aftermath, and also just as it’s starting...

but only w/ others, and not himself.
5/

That’s something that happens irl I don’t know why [insert repeated disclaimer I’m no mental health prof -if one of those folks would like to dissect this part for me, have at it].
6/

A person being abused may pick it out, and even feel compelled to step in, but just for others. Like Beard, for example, who steps in when he catches Nate starting into Collin. He nips it from the jump. Nope. Abuse is not happening. Not on Beard’s watch.
7/

In another ex: Beard is close to Ted. He has his back. Ted’s going to heal from trauma, and Beard’s going to see to that.
8/

Beard’s smart, strong, silent, wise...

and he’s entering into an abusive relationship.
9/

Jane. “I miss that scared face” Jane. Jane’s classic narcissistic tendencies are lost on Beard. In a caring voice, she flat out tells him she wants him scared. She wants him in fear... by her... she wants to control him.
10/

Jane also uses jealously - her friend is “like a Rembrandt.” She goes on to insult her friend -which is disingenuous b/c he’s a freaking “Rembrandt.” As in Beard is no work of art.
11/

As Jane represents to Beard, she can do better. As she suggests to him, isn’t he the lucky one that she chose him. She lets him know she can drop him at any time. And she does. She breaks up w/ him over and over.
12/

Gaslighting is real. It’s sneaky and when it’s happening to you, it’s incredibly effective. You don’t see it.
13/

Others can see it, it’s obvious to everyone close to Beard that Jane’s wrong for him, but even they can’t put their fingers on it. Perhaps that’s why Higgins is the only one who speaks up…
14/

And he gets a hug from Beard? Why is that? Beard clearly still doesn’t see it for himself, he clearly doesn’t agree. Why would it mean enough to him to hug Higgins?
15/

It’s a mystery to so many irl that someone -even a confident, insightful, strong enough to be a lumberjack finalist grown-ass adult- can end up in an abusive relationship.
16/

Beard doesn’t see it when it’s happening to him. And nobody reflects it back to him like he does for others.

And there you have it. A grown-ass confident, insightful, strong enough to be a lumberjack finalist who’s headed into an abusive relationship.
19/

And what happens when that person gets full on into an abusive relationship?

Enter Nate’s mother
#chronical5
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