Thread by @AVONHMO

5 things you should never say to a suicidal person

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1. “Suicide is selfish and Cowardly.”

This guilt trip is quite common but many people who consider suicide think their existence is a burden to the people they love. 'Self' is the last thing they care about.
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Also, it's counterproductive to help someone by shaming them? Naturally, people would do everything possible to avoid death. We won't say suicide is brave but overcoming the fear of death isn't cowardly.
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2. “Do you want to go to hell?”
Do you honestly think the person hasn’t considered this? He/she might just not care simply because their present pain is greater. Saying this will only drive them away from you.
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Also, consider that the person might not believe in hell or even God. Or maybe they believe that God will forgive them. Trying to scare them with hell can heighten feelings of alienation and isolation.

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3. “Other people have worse problems...”
You’re right but people deal with situations differently. People have left their SUVs to jump off a bridge even though they would have driven past homeless people.
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There’s also the possibility that your loved one may have already considered this with shame. Comparing them to others who cope better in somewhat worse situations may only worsen feelings of self-hate.
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4. “How could you even think of doing this to me?”

See ehn, it’s not about you. Spotlighting this guilt in their portfolio of suffering won’t help at all.
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5.“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

Popular quote but:
a. While it seems helpful, it also communicates that the person’s problems are temporary. The last thing you want to do is sound dismissive.
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b. You're also lowkey presenting the person with two choices: to live on in spite of their situation, temporary or not, or to bypass the problem altogether.

In addition, it implies that suicide is a ‘solution’.

It. Is. Not.
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In conclusion, when you find out that someone is suicidal you’ve just been handed a gift. That person is letting you in & it's a rare opportunity to help.

Your words & actions should help them feel less alone and more hopeful.
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So, before talking, ask yourself two simple questions:
• How helpful is what I want to say?
• Is it kind?
• How can it backfire?

Your answer may be the difference between the person feeling judged or accepted & understood.
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Also, silence plays a role in aggravating mental health issues. When someone dies from suicide, we wonder why they didn't open up earlier.

Maybe they did but we weren't listening. Suicide notes talk too late.
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We're moved to share this because we're passionate about #mentalhealth & also because we've noticed a lot of well-meaning but badly-worded responses online/offline.

If you ever feel troubled, please get help.
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