1/ I want to say a great big thank you to @chris_kammy for speaking out about #apraxia affecting his speech. I’ve been inconsolable over the last few days since I’ve discovered that a complication of B12 deficiency & pernicious anaemiaI’ve been diagnosed with, is #aphasia >
2/ I thought a few low vitamin levels was no big deal. I was having the munchies after an injection so I Googled to see if that was a side effect & I stumbled on the complications associated with B12. I have every single one. Some, like heart problems and reproductive stuff >
3/ are reversible. But the neurological and nerve damage can be irreversible. I have every single symptom and I’ve had them now for years. B12 & folate deficiency can happen if your diet is a bit shite, or if you are vegan/veggie. The hubby cooks from scratch and I’m not veggie >
4/ but it can be caused by not absorbing vitamins properly. I think back to when I started getting the symptoms. Three years ago. I was under so much anxiety & stress. I still am. It was hard to eat without feeling sick. I was taking Gaviscon to try & stop the sick & painful >
5/ feelings after I ate. I started finding it harder to concentrate, felt terribly depressed. I had #epileptic activity and weird twinges in my arms, legs and back. I kept trying to explain the symptoms to my neurology & mental health teams. I got more and more medication. My >
6/ symptoms were getting worse and worse. I joked about #epilepsy brain, thought to speech not working, forgetting what I’m saying mid conversation, talking round & round in circles, hearing myself repeating what I am saying as I can’t get out what is in my head. Feeling stupid >
7/ when I can’t answer basic questions I know I can but seem stuck somehow. People tell me it’s not as bad as I think. But I know it is, because at one time the only thing in the world I had that kept me going, was my mind. I know it’s not communication properly. I need that. >
8/ Recently I’ve had various job interviews and the knock on effect from one particularly distressing one has impacted on subsequent ones. People see a well-written CV, but then the interview answers don’t seems to fit. It doesn’t matter that I’ve disclosed speech issues and >
9/ most importantly that cognitive bit where questions are fired at you for 45m and they often bare no relation to what doing the actual job would be like. Look at my CV, I can do that bit, really well. In one interviewers notes, despite me disclosing speech issues >
10/ they commented on my voice trailing off. I cannot say how much that hurt me. So much I couldn’t raise a complaint afterwards. But these people work in mental health, like me, and with people who use services, like me, who are severely impacted mood wise by the way their >
11/ disabilities affect them and the way people treat them. My speech is honestly not nearly as bad people with severe disabilities, like Stephen Hawking. My intelligence isn’t affected. But communicating that is, and even in #LXP roles or non-disability posts people associate >
12/ it with incompetence. I have been too. I haven’t known what is wrong with me or why nothing has been working. Why I can’t remember words or irritate people in conversations. Ai feel ashamed, I feel stupid, because there is confusion and brain fog with some questions. Leave >
13/ me with that question and you will have some of the incredible results in that CV of mine, because the weirdly wired brain does some good stuff with a little adjustment for it’s needs. I can write it. Once I write, I can do it. I can even speak quite eloquently once I feel >
14/ less anxious and more welcomed within the environment I’m in. The constant rejection recently as the symptom have got worse, the being scared that I’ll never work again, confusion as to whether the symptoms were even real, has left me not wanting to leave my room, even to >
15/ go out with friends. I’m so conscious of it. People may tell me that it’s not bad, but I know that I’m not right, that I’m not myself, and presently it is costing me very, very dearly. I keep telling myself that everything will be ok if I just manage to get myself out of >
16/ the vat of anxiety I am in. Maybe the mix of B12 injections and a change in environment will help. But I keep coming back to the knowledge that I’ve got every single symptom, even the rare ones, of neurological damage. I’ve had them for 3 years. It can’t be tested for, and >
17/ as to whether the nerve damage repairs itself, that can’t be predicted. You just wait and see, apparently. Every time I think about it I cry. @chris_kammy has had to give up his live presenting, #BruceWillis had to give up acting. But #EmiliaClarke finished #GameOfThrones >
18/ after a stroke between season 1 & 2. I just wanted to shout out to fellow #MadTwitter activists, fellow Mentals, #LXPs fighting discrimination. Be careful & listen to your body. I know we don’t, because otherwise, we’d still be in Bedlam, nothing would ever change. But get >
19/ regular checks/ bloods for general health. Things people brush off and tell us - things we tell ourselves - are nothing, because we know real suffering, or things that are nothing and all in our head - get them checked. My brothers partner collapsed and died recently. I >
20/ could have only been aware of this by the time I finally collapsed and ended up in hospital. All of us have health inequalities, co-morbidities. Fighting to be treated well doesn’t just destroy your mental health, not everyone dies by suicide. We are vulnerable and our >
21/ bodies are more vulnerable to breaking down. Even if we ‘manage’ our mental health, our bodies need to find other ways to expel the pain and distress. It seems mine has chosen to attack my immune system, stop me absorbing nutrition, literally wear away my nervous system. >
22/ How many other people die by physical illness, cancers or their bodies breaking because of how hard they are fighting? My body is literally screaming at me to stop speaking out, because it’s broken me. Please be careful guys. Get checked out. How many of us are being >
23/ diagnosed as being mental, prescribed pills that won’t help, cuz we’re sick with something else? Our chronic #MentalHealth conditions & hostilities we face leave us susceptible to poor physical health too
24/ This thread is waaaaaay too long… @threadreaderapp please unroll!
24/ This thread is waaaaaay too long… @threadreaderapp please unroll!
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