⚠️Trigger warning ⚠️
MKULTRA
FOSTER CARE
PSYCHOLOGICAL,
PHYSICAL &
SEXUAL ABUSE
WARNING
A 🧵🪡 about visiting my mom & discovering the truth about my past
MKULTRA
FOSTER CARE
PSYCHOLOGICAL,
PHYSICAL &
SEXUAL ABUSE
WARNING
A 🧵🪡 about visiting my mom & discovering the truth about my past
1/n
The 1st part of my trip to MN to see my mom was pretty stellar
I showed up at her nursing home where she is staying and she was wearing some 4 leaf clover 🍀 bouncy headband thing
I laughed at first but then she told me that all of Ireland 🇮🇪 is celebrating 🥳 the Queen’s
The 1st part of my trip to MN to see my mom was pretty stellar
I showed up at her nursing home where she is staying and she was wearing some 4 leaf clover 🍀 bouncy headband thing
I laughed at first but then she told me that all of Ireland 🇮🇪 is celebrating 🥳 the Queen’s
2/
death & she’s 50% Irish ☘️
We shared a good chuckle 🙊
My mom is like a kid in an old adult body that was abused by the system & her own family (my grandparents that raised all 8 of us kids)
We chatted for a couple of hours & played very competitive BINGO
death & she’s 50% Irish ☘️
We shared a good chuckle 🙊
My mom is like a kid in an old adult body that was abused by the system & her own family (my grandparents that raised all 8 of us kids)
We chatted for a couple of hours & played very competitive BINGO
3/
apparently her housemates think my mom is cheating cuz she wins😂
The most tragic part of our meeting was my mom revealing to me that the entire basis for her being unable to have us anymore was based on a lie…
& my mom was forced to go with it by The G & the “authorities”
apparently her housemates think my mom is cheating cuz she wins😂
The most tragic part of our meeting was my mom revealing to me that the entire basis for her being unable to have us anymore was based on a lie…
& my mom was forced to go with it by The G & the “authorities”
4/
As kids, it was revealed to us that she was driving in downtown Minneapolis one day & she was at a red light watching a couple cross the street in front of her
We were told that she was watching them go from Heaven on one side of the street & that they were crossing over to
As kids, it was revealed to us that she was driving in downtown Minneapolis one day & she was at a red light watching a couple cross the street in front of her
We were told that she was watching them go from Heaven on one side of the street & that they were crossing over to
5/
Hell on the other side🔥
So to protect them, we were told, she ran her car into them so they wouldn’t go to hell
We weren’t given details about injuries except maybe a broken leg & nobody died
Buttt she was institutionalized that day. We never lived with her again & she was
Hell on the other side🔥
So to protect them, we were told, she ran her car into them so they wouldn’t go to hell
We weren’t given details about injuries except maybe a broken leg & nobody died
Buttt she was institutionalized that day. We never lived with her again & she was
6/
diagnosed w schizophrenia & pumped w super toxic drugs for the next 30years
Shortly afterwards my dad had a nervous breakdown that he staged; he couldn’t handle even a few of us, let alone 8
I won’t go into detail now, but it was extremely violent, traumatic & brutal way to
diagnosed w schizophrenia & pumped w super toxic drugs for the next 30years
Shortly afterwards my dad had a nervous breakdown that he staged; he couldn’t handle even a few of us, let alone 8
I won’t go into detail now, but it was extremely violent, traumatic & brutal way to
7/
end that parent/kid relationship
& I blamed myself for it happening for 25yrs; I never had a solid parental relationship again
We were removed from their care by the government. There’s about 2 weeks of time where I have absolutely no recollection until I’m suddenly living
end that parent/kid relationship
& I blamed myself for it happening for 25yrs; I never had a solid parental relationship again
We were removed from their care by the government. There’s about 2 weeks of time where I have absolutely no recollection until I’m suddenly living
8/
w my grandparents in a new home w all 8 of us. Why couldn’t I remember what happened after??
Even immediately after it happened I was questioning why I couldn’t recall just days before…
Knowing what I know now, I believe I was a victim of MKULTRA & my mom probably was too
w my grandparents in a new home w all 8 of us. Why couldn’t I remember what happened after??
Even immediately after it happened I was questioning why I couldn’t recall just days before…
Knowing what I know now, I believe I was a victim of MKULTRA & my mom probably was too
9/
It should be noted that my grandpa was in the Air Force & was a union trucker, so he had ties to the government & the underworld obv.
They were both abusive & strict Catholic. My grandpa was a pedophile & I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on a mason list too
It should be noted that my grandpa was in the Air Force & was a union trucker, so he had ties to the government & the underworld obv.
They were both abusive & strict Catholic. My grandpa was a pedophile & I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on a mason list too
10/
I know now, that I was programmed to be a Beta Sex Kitten for him
& later for others as a dancer / sex worker
I always knew they fucked my mom up, so I could never trust them
Though of course they were martyrs in our church & community for taking all 8 of us kids in
I know now, that I was programmed to be a Beta Sex Kitten for him
& later for others as a dancer / sex worker
I always knew they fucked my mom up, so I could never trust them
Though of course they were martyrs in our church & community for taking all 8 of us kids in
11/
Validation is important to these types & gives them ammunition
the abuse didn’t stop it just changed
I got in trouble once for correcting my grandpa on what the smallest state is, bc he said it was Hawaii…
Wasn’t allowed to eat w the family & had to go to my room lol 😂
Validation is important to these types & gives them ammunition
the abuse didn’t stop it just changed
I got in trouble once for correcting my grandpa on what the smallest state is, bc he said it was Hawaii…
Wasn’t allowed to eat w the family & had to go to my room lol 😂
12/
being yelled at for his ignorance
That was a “lite” punishment
Soap in mouth, face in a corner of the wall, bare ass spanking were typical
Then of course I was molested for years & had no choice but to hide it or I was threatened w splitting the family up in foster care
being yelled at for his ignorance
That was a “lite” punishment
Soap in mouth, face in a corner of the wall, bare ass spanking were typical
Then of course I was molested for years & had no choice but to hide it or I was threatened w splitting the family up in foster care
13/
And in my mind, I had already broken up our family once
& technically we were wards of the state in foster care already
So I just had to survive
And know the real reason we were taken in by them…
For his pleasure of course
And in my mind, I had already broken up our family once
& technically we were wards of the state in foster care already
So I just had to survive
And know the real reason we were taken in by them…
For his pleasure of course
14/
My mom used to be very beautiful, smart & popular; a beautiful blonde w brown eyes but rebellious against authority
I always wondered what they did to her…
Her eyes are green now & she has brown & gray hair. I was always the only one w green eyes 👀
My mom used to be very beautiful, smart & popular; a beautiful blonde w brown eyes but rebellious against authority
I always wondered what they did to her…
Her eyes are green now & she has brown & gray hair. I was always the only one w green eyes 👀
15/
Extremely gentle & protective nature; she never wanted us to go live w her parents & she noticed I wasn’t being treated well
She even stood up for me & physically intervened when she saw The G being rough w me in the kitchen once during a visit to our new house
Extremely gentle & protective nature; she never wanted us to go live w her parents & she noticed I wasn’t being treated well
She even stood up for me & physically intervened when she saw The G being rough w me in the kitchen once during a visit to our new house
16/
Instead she was made to look crazy
It fell on deaf ears & she was helpless w no agency
The G made it look like she was having an episode again but she wasn’t; she was protecting me from her
And it was all based on a LIE
The biggest personal lie of my lifetime:
Instead she was made to look crazy
It fell on deaf ears & she was helpless w no agency
The G made it look like she was having an episode again but she wasn’t; she was protecting me from her
And it was all based on a LIE
The biggest personal lie of my lifetime:
17/
Bc just last week I finally asked my mom about the car accident in Minneapolis 30+ years ago
She laughed & said NO
& she said she didn’t see any visions, no hallucinations
Ever.
Like she doesn’t have schizophrenia at all & she’s been trying to tell people that for years
Bc just last week I finally asked my mom about the car accident in Minneapolis 30+ years ago
She laughed & said NO
& she said she didn’t see any visions, no hallucinations
Ever.
Like she doesn’t have schizophrenia at all & she’s been trying to tell people that for years
18/
That story was made up presumably by my grandparents
So they could take us in
She said she was just having a nervous breakdown from STRESS & wasn’t even using drugs
She said her mom, The G, has been saying this for years behind her back to everyone
To cement her case
That story was made up presumably by my grandparents
So they could take us in
She said she was just having a nervous breakdown from STRESS & wasn’t even using drugs
She said her mom, The G, has been saying this for years behind her back to everyone
To cement her case
19/
My grandparents wanted us
to be our saviors in an extremely neglected & abusive environment w/o supervision
Wow 🤩 Beautiful story
Except the abuse didn’t stop,
Only major neglect did
My grandpa started to abuse me immediately & for several years
I was 6yo & have PTSD
My grandparents wanted us
to be our saviors in an extremely neglected & abusive environment w/o supervision
Wow 🤩 Beautiful story
Except the abuse didn’t stop,
Only major neglect did
My grandpa started to abuse me immediately & for several years
I was 6yo & have PTSD
20/
& insomnia since that time until recently
My entire life has been a lie
Not just regarding the government
But within my own family
I’m not surprised
It never felt right walking on eggshells; never being able to even ask my mom this bc I was told she was fragile &
& insomnia since that time until recently
My entire life has been a lie
Not just regarding the government
But within my own family
I’m not surprised
It never felt right walking on eggshells; never being able to even ask my mom this bc I was told she was fragile &
21/
could start hallucinating
The G - my grandma created the story & retold it enough so that it BECAME truth
I can’t even tell u how many times I repeated this lie
The G enabled her with weekly liters of Pepsi & cases of cigarettes for dozens of years
could start hallucinating
The G - my grandma created the story & retold it enough so that it BECAME truth
I can’t even tell u how many times I repeated this lie
The G enabled her with weekly liters of Pepsi & cases of cigarettes for dozens of years
22/
& forced a diagnosis of schizophrenia on her
Ensuring she’d be institutionalized
& then given violent treatments & medications that create the problem they are supposed to treat
Which also make people’s weight/size balloon to extreme proportions
& unappealing to be near
& forced a diagnosis of schizophrenia on her
Ensuring she’d be institutionalized
& then given violent treatments & medications that create the problem they are supposed to treat
Which also make people’s weight/size balloon to extreme proportions
& unappealing to be near
23/
Weird, just over a week ago the G was trying to claim I have schizophrenia…
Munchhausen‘s by proxy is a serious condition & it apparently is in my own family
It’s the most subtle evil & a type of psychopathy
People don’t suffer from Munchhausen‘s
Weird, just over a week ago the G was trying to claim I have schizophrenia…
Munchhausen‘s by proxy is a serious condition & it apparently is in my own family
It’s the most subtle evil & a type of psychopathy
People don’t suffer from Munchhausen‘s
24/
they make OTHERS SUFFER, so that they can look like saviors/martyrs
Sometimes karma takes awhile, but I think The G knows she will be in purgatory, at best
Which is the group she prays for the most
& it doesn’t matter how much $ she gives or how many times a week she
they make OTHERS SUFFER, so that they can look like saviors/martyrs
Sometimes karma takes awhile, but I think The G knows she will be in purgatory, at best
Which is the group she prays for the most
& it doesn’t matter how much $ she gives or how many times a week she
25/
goes to church
Or how often she goes to visit my mom
At least my mom is pampered & well liked by staff; her needs are met & she’s happy
She’s too far gone now, to live outside those walls
But The G gets to live well & better on the other side at the expense of my mom
goes to church
Or how often she goes to visit my mom
At least my mom is pampered & well liked by staff; her needs are met & she’s happy
She’s too far gone now, to live outside those walls
But The G gets to live well & better on the other side at the expense of my mom
26/
Mom told me there’s room for me to live w her there at the nursing home, if I decide I want to move in 🥺
I told her
-there’s not enough room (it’s like 12’x12’ w a single dresser lol)
-I don’t have a disability &
-Xander is in Vegas
w a tear in my eye…😭
Mom told me there’s room for me to live w her there at the nursing home, if I decide I want to move in 🥺
I told her
-there’s not enough room (it’s like 12’x12’ w a single dresser lol)
-I don’t have a disability &
-Xander is in Vegas
w a tear in my eye…😭
27/
Mama Ayahuasca showed me in ‘18 that I always wanted to save my mom
I “purged” a single tear from my eye during the visions
My subconscious knew this whole time; I should have trusted my natural instincts
🌱🌈✨🌲🌊🎋
Mama Ayahuasca showed me in ‘18 that I always wanted to save my mom
I “purged” a single tear from my eye during the visions
My subconscious knew this whole time; I should have trusted my natural instincts
🌱🌈✨🌲🌊🎋
28/
Mama Aya told me I don’t need her medicine anymore, but can come back anytime 🌬✨
It’s the great, gentle Grandmother medicine
The Grandma I actually deserve
I won’t be able to call my grandma “The G” anymore :/
Mama Aya told me I don’t need her medicine anymore, but can come back anytime 🌬✨
It’s the great, gentle Grandmother medicine
The Grandma I actually deserve
I won’t be able to call my grandma “The G” anymore :/
29/
Trust destroyed & I didn’t even make time to visit her …
Though she was probably expecting me to come by
I had more important things to do
& so she doesn’t know that my mom told me the truth yet
😬🤬😤👿
Trust destroyed & I didn’t even make time to visit her …
Though she was probably expecting me to come by
I had more important things to do
& so she doesn’t know that my mom told me the truth yet
😬🤬😤👿
30/
Mom’s name is Patty, she was born the day after St. Patrick’s Day & she hates the Queen too. So relieved she gets it, why don’t others?
Fuck those pirates🏴☠️
🍀🇮🇪
Despite being out of state, I’m her only child of 8 that will visit her 🥺
Mom’s name is Patty, she was born the day after St. Patrick’s Day & she hates the Queen too. So relieved she gets it, why don’t others?
Fuck those pirates🏴☠️
🍀🇮🇪
Despite being out of state, I’m her only child of 8 that will visit her 🥺
31/
My big sis & sparkling role model /s Rachel Mauer has literally never gone to see her once; at least some of them can say they went once or twice
I told mom it’s bc they are assholes
And it’s all based on a lie
Just like their religion, Covid/germ theory & globe earth
My big sis & sparkling role model /s Rachel Mauer has literally never gone to see her once; at least some of them can say they went once or twice
I told mom it’s bc they are assholes
And it’s all based on a lie
Just like their religion, Covid/germ theory & globe earth
32/
Hell is hot 🥵
Honor your mother
your father &
your children
So that was enlightening obv
While in her neck of the woods of central MN…
Hell is hot 🥵
Honor your mother
your father &
your children
So that was enlightening obv
While in her neck of the woods of central MN…
33/
I also went to go see my college nearby
I chose to go to St. Cloud State Univ in Sherbourne county where my mom lives & I was born
So I stopped by for a visit & in good spirits
Land of the gnomes!! 🧙🏻♀️✨🌲🏡
fairies 🧚🏼♂️ are born I’ve heard
I also went to go see my college nearby
I chose to go to St. Cloud State Univ in Sherbourne county where my mom lives & I was born
So I stopped by for a visit & in good spirits
Land of the gnomes!! 🧙🏻♀️✨🌲🏡
fairies 🧚🏼♂️ are born I’ve heard
34/
It’s on the Mississippi River
This was outside my dorm
It’s on the Mississippi River
This was outside my dorm
35/
Across from the gardens 🧚🏼♂️🧙🏻♀️
Across from the gardens 🧚🏼♂️🧙🏻♀️
36/
And I had to stop by my old dorm:
Shoemaker Hall
Where my friends & I would steal the “S” off every chance we got
Making it:
HOEMAKER HALL obv 🙃😎🤩
I got to keep the “S”
Bc as Sara, I put the S on Hoemaker they said 😂😂😂
And I had to stop by my old dorm:
Shoemaker Hall
Where my friends & I would steal the “S” off every chance we got
Making it:
HOEMAKER HALL obv 🙃😎🤩
I got to keep the “S”
Bc as Sara, I put the S on Hoemaker they said 😂😂😂
37/
Anddd I WAS a resident advisor my 2nd year
— until I was asked not to return bc I started dancing 💰💃 & making that money … and some of my residents saw me on stage 🤦🏼♀️ 😬🙃😅—
So they weren’t wrong
Beta Sex Kitten programming is real 🤯
End of part 1 🧵
Anddd I WAS a resident advisor my 2nd year
— until I was asked not to return bc I started dancing 💰💃 & making that money … and some of my residents saw me on stage 🤦🏼♀️ 😬🙃😅—
So they weren’t wrong
Beta Sex Kitten programming is real 🤯
End of part 1 🧵
#greatPokerAwakening
#greatPokerReset
#REVENGEofTheNERDS
✨Origin Stories ✨
@DougPolkVids @Joeingram1 @RyanFeePoker @ToddWitteles @AllenKessler
#greatPokerReset
#REVENGEofTheNERDS
✨Origin Stories ✨
@DougPolkVids @Joeingram1 @RyanFeePoker @ToddWitteles @AllenKessler
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