#humor

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,

'Hello?'
'Hi, honey.
This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No, Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause, Daddy says,
'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh, yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
Brief Pause.
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs,
knock on the bedroom door
and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay, Daddy, just a minute.'

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

'I did it, Daddy.'

'And what happened, honey?'
'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.

Then, she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh, my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.
He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water
last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

Long Pause...
Longer Pause
Even Longer Pause
Then Daddy says,
'Swimming pool? ...........
Is this 486-5731?'

The little girl replies, "No, I think you have the wrong number ..."

• • •

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More from @chittukuruvi4

Dec 28
If Pappu and his brainless supporters think that wearing a T-Shirt in the cold is primary qualification to become a PM, then by now, we should have had following as the PM - not to forget Mallika Sherawat, Urfi Javed and by a good distance, men just can't become PMs!
Sridevi
Aishwarya Rai Bachhan
Read 6 tweets
Dec 27
Yesterday, watched Avatar 2.0. in 4D. Didn't know initially that we were going for 4D - which basically is 3D + special effects. So what was it like? #AvatarTheWayOfWater #Avatar2review #4D
After the movie started, I felt that the probably kids who were sitting in the back were kicking. And then the seats were kind of bobbing up and down and in various directions. Looked back couple of time, but no kids in the back! Then my son informed that it is 4D -
meaning that to give additional effects seats will move in sync with what is happening on the screen. So when a scene with rain came up, there was mist of water spray, when wind was howling on the screen, there was strong breeze going by your ears,
Read 6 tweets
Nov 8
After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.

#humor #NoGyan
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you

Husband: What’s up?

Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our child.
Husband: Well you don’t remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had wet its diapers and you said, "Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here."
Read 4 tweets
Nov 7
Biased comments written from a jaundiced viewpoint. Having been born and brought up in Delhi, there are lots of good things and not so good things about Delhi - and dunno if it can be applied with a broad brush. South Indians were always respected in Delhi for various reasons.
Have lived in multiple places in India except South India - other than traveling. If South was "bad" as per @DrSpitfire how come so many Maharashtrians, Gujaratis and Jains settled in Tamil Nadu and have adapted to Tamil Nadu?
Every single experience that we encounter is also a reflection of what we are and not just because of the language that we speak. How many of the North Indians, who are working in Bengaluru have learnt Kannada?
Read 6 tweets
Aug 19
#Janmashtami2022 musings.

What's it about Bhagawan Sri Krishna that calms and enthralls our mind and soul?
Is it his playfulness, as a child, that captures our mind?
Or his wise words of wisdom, during periods of turbulence in our minds, that tells our heart - now that you have surrendered your problems to me, from now onwards keep calm and do your duty?
Or is it the visualization of Krishna as he manifests in various forms especially the Vishwaroopam as he humbles our mind and whispers in our ears, that in my presence, your imaginary problems are nothing?
Read 8 tweets
Aug 16
An excellent thread by @thekaipullai on why we celebrated #HarGarTiranga #IndiaAt75 . And as @lakshmianand96 wrote, "We are celebrating the fact that that India is flourishing in spite of LeLis, urban naxals, the Tukde Tukde gang, the Lutyens Cabal, the wokes, the NGOs,
Bollywood, morally and financially corrupt dynastic politicians and meddling foreign powers.
That is some achievement!"
“Power will go to the hands of ras­cals, rogues, free­boot­ers; all Indian lead­ers will be of low cal­i­bre & men of straw. They will have sweet tongues and silly hearts. They will fight amongst them­selves for power and India will be lost in polit­i­cal squab­bles.
Read 22 tweets

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