Thread by @s_ayebkarlsson

'Big Eyes' (2014) was on the TV the other day. It doesn't mention abuse or #CoerciveControl and most disturbingly (or well-fittingly) it is a Weinstein production but it is actually an excellent watch to follow the dynamics of coercive and controlling behaviour and its impact./1

The story begins with Margaret just having left her husband and the father of her daughter. He is described as controlling. We get a feeling of her escaping an abusive home. He attempts to remove her from M's care by claiming that she is 'mental unwell'./2

M attempts to rebuild their life. She gets a job in a new city and channels a lot of her love, energy and time into her paintings. She meets Walter while selling paintings on the street. She is in a vulnerable place and needs stable people that she can trust and lean on. /3

Perpetrators of #coercivecontrol are often masters in identifying who to target and when. They carefully select their victims and continue to groom them. What is described thereafter is a delicate reflection of the strategies in the early cycle of CCB./4

W showers M with compliments, extravagant dinners and promises of endless love, security and a magical future together while also making sure that he establishes fear in her by ignoring her and openly flirting with other women to show that he could leave at any point. /5

He begins a strategic propaganda that involves making her believe that she is extremely lucky that he has decided to be with her. 'I must be grateful for W who is a blessing' she says at one point to her friend, as 'who wants a divorced woman with a child'. /6

He moves rapidly and skips the early phases of a romantic relationship. Within months, they have moved in together, he proposes, they get married, and go to Hawaii on honeymoon. A goal of the perpetrator of #coercivecontrol, to quickly lock their victim into dependence. /7

As they return, W who also claims to be a painter proposes that M stays at home and paints while he maintains out and about trying to sell their paintings. He makes an arrangement to hang their paintings in a jazz club and indicates that M better stay home =increased isolation./8

He begins to sell her paintings in his name, takes credit for them, pretends to be 'the artist' who paints all the children with 'Big Eyes'. He increasingly becomes more and more famous and starts making more and more money while further isolating M. /9

One evening, M finishes a painting and decides to bring it to W at the club only to realise that he has been lying about them being his. What follows is a calculated trap involving the 1M reasons why the secret must continue and remain between the pair. /10

People do not want to buy 'lady art', this is for the greater good, for the best of the family, why would she want to expose and make a fool out of him if she was a supportive wife, the man of the household generally knows best so she should trust in his judgement. /11

The film presents the lie and secret about who is the artist behind the 'Big Eyes' to be about fame, money and jealousy of M's talent but if we think about the storyline and events through the lens of #coercivecontrol it may involve further factors. /12

Many perpetrators of #coercivecontrol or systems replicating controlling and coercive structures #entrap victims through secrets and lies that are held over their heads as collateral. 'Dont you dare trying to break free, to leave, to question my power and authority over you'. /13

It is also not a coincidence that 'male privilege' and financial assets were used against M to maintain the power and control over her and her child (The Duluth/Power and Control Wheel). /14

M is forced to paint in a secret room upon W's orders. She is controlled in what she paints, when she paints, and to whom she paints. Importantly, it is not a coincidence that the very thing she loved and cherished the most - her art - is what is used against her. /15

She is robbed of the fundamental core element of her identity which she describes as deeply personal. Her internal lens built over time which is how she perceives, sees and portrays beauty is stolen from her in an calculated attempt to eliminate who she is - her sense of self./16

In an attempt to recreate her sense of identity, she paints a self-portrait in secret in a different style to the ones requested by W which he finds and calls a waste of time. He also immediately ensures that the new style is to be sold in his name. /17

There are various elements in this story that makes it such a good example that can help us better understand #coercivecontrol. The first threat of physical violence comes as M attempts to separate from W by him threatening to have her killed unless she submits to his control./18

Awareness is also raised around the impacts of #coercivecontrol in relation to M's behaviour and responses as she finds herself under these targeted attacks. She is presented as struggling with mental health associated distress but she is clearly not 'mentally unwell'. /19

It is an important message to us all of how we treat and meet victim-survivors of #DomesticAbuse and #coercivecontrol. We must remember that no response at all to this terror and targeted psychological warfare would be non-human or abnormal while a reaction should be expected./20

Finally, as M escapes W, moves away and asks for a divorce, we see the continuation of his #abuse through the use of legal coercion and control by turning to the #courts.

A classic next step for #perpetrators of #coercivecontrol where we are far from #protective #solutions. /21

More #coercivecontrol #DomesticAbuse #VisualMaterial #WhatToWatch suggestions @AndrewCicchett1 @coercivecontrol @SheraFamily @DrEmmaKatz @BarnettAdrienne @CpiVoz @outofhiscontrol @RachaelGrey2022 @safe_parents @custodypeace @ParamilyUK @drsairaxkhan @dasgsurvivors @danielle2u