Thread by @SigneTikvah

Ok it's probably time to compile a thread and share some of my #JMac story. I married a #TMU student. We didn't live near the campus or GCC main as his job had him traveling a lot and we moved a lot. Every place we lived, we looked for a #TMS connected church. A 🧵.

When one of my children was a newborn, just days old, I was holding the baby and my ex backhanded me across the face. He'd had a bad day at work. He called his parents (in another state) who flew in, contacted a #GCC approved counselor through their network.

I was left out of the counseling session. Women aren't required in marriage counseling. His parents & he were in the session & they were all further advised to leave me/the kids at home. They all spent the weekend away at a hotel vacation spot. #JMac #GCC

When he returned, his parents pulled me aside and told me they knew I'd provoked him and I'd better not slander my husband's good name or gossip. They said if anyone heard of what I'd done, they would destroy my reputation. #GCC #JMac

They also said the counselor was aware of my 'dramatics' & he would back them up. Be aware at this point I was sporting a pretty vicious mark on my face. I was told to hide it & cover it up w/makeup so the sight of it didn't make him feel bad or provoke him to do it again. #GCC

FF years ahead and countless more abuse stories. Everything from denial of medical care to constant belittlement and the constant understanding he could explode at any moment. Patching walls, doors, cabinets, mirrors in homes. Throwing myself between him & my kids. #JMac #GCC

Finally got the courage and ability to get out. Got kids and I away from him. He went to a counselor at a church chosen by his parents who was also an LPC. That man called me and I was ready for more disbelief & submission. He informed me he believed me. All of it. #JMac

He told me that he believed medication was needed at the least but the kids and I should have nothing to do with him and I needed to protect everyone. (Still had kids at home.) I was stunned and thought there was hope. He encouraged me. Prayed with me. #JMac #GCC

Said he was going to move to next steps on his end. Next phone call was a group conference call with ex and his folks and the counselor. Who at that moment, berated me for not being a godly wife and set up a plan to get my ex back into my house according to God's word. #JMac #GCC

He called me back next day. Apparently he had papers to officially file and the church would never approve medication for mental illness or a woman being believed over a man. He had a family to support but he would be praying for me. #abuse #counseling

Phone calls couldn't be traced if they were made with his personal cell. Couldn't be recorded. But all the paperwork filed officially was against me. He said I could call his office anytime for advice and he'd connect me with his wife for advice too. #abuse #counseling

Next time I called the church (a day or two later) he was no longer employed there, had moved on, and no forwarding information. #JMac #GCC

Next counselor was another #TMU trained counselor that had been contacted through GCC network. That's where I was told (in front of ex) that my abuse was ordained by God due to my rebellious spirit. This was his plan for me. #GCC #Abuse #JMac

I was also told we're to be like Christ and Jesus never fought back or even lifted his head to his abusers so I needed to be more like him. There's so much more that I can't fit it into a tweet thread. But ppl asking to define abuse, what was this? #GCC #JMac #TMU

Tell me how my entire life was designed by God to be a punching bag in order to perfect my faith. For those wondering, I'm safe now thankfully. And I'm here to give others a voice, a safe space, a listening ear or a hug. After years of abuse, it doesn't happen on my watch. #GCC

That is the tiniest glimpse of all the things I endured. I'm not here to destroy anyone. (Not even #GCC or #JMac honestly. See next tweet.) I just want someone to know there are others. And this is real. And there are more of us out there. Just please listen. #abuse

And if you or your church has inadvertently sent anyone back into a life threatening or abuse situation or if you didn't realize you were a party to that, apologies go a long way. So does listening. And grace. And healing. It will heal you too. #abuse #GCC #dotherightthing

Sorry somehow these tweets got out of sync and in wrong order. I apologize and can clarify. Not sure what happened. Tech let me down. 🙄