My fellow Russians

My quick & easy 3 day war into Ukraine is running slightly behind schedule. 360 days behind schedule to be precise. We lost the battle of Kyiv, their capital & largest city. As you can see my war started out tremendously well.. for the Ukrainians
#SlavaUkraini Image
After we lost the battle of Kyiv, we proceeded to lose the battle of Kharkiv too. Kharkiv is their second largest city. After a prolonged battle we lost at Snake Island. Then we lost the battle for Izyum, a town we had seized. As you can tell my war is progressing remarkably well Image
When our army fled Izyum, they left all our heavy weapons there for the Ukrainians to use against us in this war. This is part of my glorious plan. We did the same in our loss at Snake Island. We abandoned all our valuable military gear there too. We've gifted Ukraine 600 tanks! Image
We have been eagerly retreating so much since March, that half of the terrain we once held in Ukraine has already been handed back to the Ukrainians. In the words of my pet & sex toy, Donald Trump, I call this unconventional type of military maneouvering: 'winning'
#TrumpPutin Image
The largest warship on the Black Sea, our Navy flagship, the mighty missile cruiser Moskva was sunk. And sunk by an enemy who does not operate a navy. The commander of our Navy has been fired. All remaining Russian warships from our naval base at Sevastopol have bravely fled away Image
All of our Russian tanks have turned out to be death traps. Their turrets are prone to explode, with unfortunate results to the tank crews. One tank regiment was so furious about this war, they ran over their own commander with a tank. Rest assured, he was buried with his legs Image
We once had the second most powerful air force in the world. Half of it is now permanently grounded into Ukrainian soil. We lost so many warplanes in one day at our airbase in Crimea that our total remaining air force fled Crimea & is now proudly contributing to the war by hiding Image
We had a battalion of our own troops irradiated by their own commanders. They were ordered to dig trenches into the ground of the Chernobyl nuclear accident & inhaled radioactive dust. These men have lungs that glow in the dark. Some of them might live to see the end of this year Image
In the first 12 months so far we have lost 145,000 Russian soldiers. That is more than we lost in ten years of our failed war invading Afghanistan, and the two long wars in Chechnya. We lost more soldiers in the first 6 months than the USA lost in the Vietnam War over ten years Image
We have not just lost warplanes, tanks, ships & soldiers. We also have lost Generals. So many generals have died that I have lost count. I believe it is about 16. To help make winning this war even easier, I have myself fired another 8 Generals commanding this war
#CzarLilliPutin Image
I cleverly decided to not supply the invasion army with enough war materials. I didn't bother with things like food, and ordered our soldiers to go rob the locals. This led to a series of war crimes, which resulted in sanctions. Because of sanctions we cannot build modern weapons Image
The one thing Russia never, ever wanted to happen, was for NATO to expand, especially near our border. And I am proud to report, that thanks to my glorious 3 day war invading & pillaging Ukraine, both Finland and Sweden are now eagerly joining NATO. And Ukraine will join NATO too Image
We had an army of 40,000 men defending Kherson. They fought so cleverly, they become totally surrounded, ran out out of ammunition & food. As Invading a city would have been costly for Ukraine, I ordered our army to retreat out of Kherson to give the city back to Ukraine. Image
75% of the men I sent to invade Ukraine have died. Which is why I decided that the men I send as reinforcements will not be trained properly

As you can see, my 3 day war into Ukraine has been a tremendous success. The next phase in this war will be even more glorious
#LilliPutin Image
WIKIPEDIA

Russian Czars. Rulers of Russia come from the Romanov line, up to modern times:

Czarina Catherine the Great
Czar Alexander the Noble
Czar Nicholas the Able
Czar Mikhail the Fable
Czar Sergei the Stable
Czar Vladimir the Table

#CzarVladimirTheTable #VladimirTheTable Image
The Kremlin Book Of Russian Military Proverbs:

"Man with long table has short pencil."

"Man with short table... has short pencil."

"Man with broken bridge... has broken pencil."

#CzarLilliPutin #TableBoy #BridgeBoy #Kherson #LilliPutin Image
Donald Trump: "There's going to be so much winning, you'll get tired of all the winning."

Also Donald Trump: "This is genius. Putin declares a big portion of Ukraine independent. Oh, that's wonderful. How smart is that? He's gonna be a peacekeeper. He's a guy who is very savvy." Image

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More from @tomiahonen

Oct 15, 2023
GAG ORDER THREAD

On Monday Judge Chutkan in DC (Jack Smith 2) case will hold a hearing about putting a gag order on Herr Hezbollah, the nation's Terrorist-In-Chief. Trump was under protective order. He breached it many times. So this is now his 'final warning'

Let's do a Thread Image
GAG ORDER THREAD/2

Don't look at me like that! This is JUSTICE. It is EXACTLY the same legal standard that would apply to you and me. Nothing more, nothing less. Trump is a FIRST TIME OFFENDER; has NEVER been convicted of any crime (yet). He was put on a 'protective order' FIRST Image
GAG ORDER THREAD/3

Then Trump repeatedly broke that protective order. We WITNESSED IT LIVE on TV and on social media, REPEATEDLY

But the Judge CANNOT do anything about it. Until she is FORMALLY told by the prosecution. She CANNOT do anything yet. It would be same for you and me Image
Read 17 tweets
Oct 14, 2023
Justice IS COMING

We certainly feel it was taking too long. In reality this is about par for the course, in some ways FASTER than normal, for such a large criminal conspiracy. Timing is similar to Watergate

FIRST of PLANNERS of Jan 6 go to trial, in Georgia in two weeks !!!
Image
So January 6th, 2021 was two years and 9 months ago. Over 1,000 of the violent mob have been caught, over half prosecuted, and prison sentences for those running up to more than a decade in prison. That is justice

The ORGANIZERS of the Jan 6th plot are Trump, the Seditious Six.. Image
The ORGANIZERS of Jan 6 are
Trump
Seditious Six (Giuliani, Flynn etc)
Evil Eleven of Congress (Gosar, Gym, Gaetz etc)
and a handful others (Roger Stone, Bannon etc)
They are ALL CAUGHT

Jack Smith STARTED to prosecute the organizers. Look who he has as WITNESSES to this crime Image
Read 10 tweets
Oct 12, 2023
Trump calls Hezbollah "very smart" for their terrorist attack? Same Senile Man called Putin smart for invading Ukraine. And called murdering dictators MBS and Kim Jong Un smart

Meanwhile Trump has called HIS OWN CABINET and HIS OWN GENERALS idiots & stupid

Ok, Trumpo, I'm game
Let's get Trump opinions by HIS OWN Generals:

General Mattis: Trump's not mature, a 5th grader
General McMaster: he's a dope, kindergartner idiot
Colonel Esper: irresponsible
General Milley: crazy
General Hytin: an idiot
General Kelly: Trump's crazy, an unhinged idiot

Next... Image
Then let's ask Trump White House staff, people Trump selected:

VP Pence: Trump is reckless
CoS 1 Priebus: he's an idiot
CoS 2 (Kelly, in above)
CoS 3 Mulvaney: terrible human being, a clown show
CoS 4 Meadows: Trump is worthless
SoS Tillerson: he's a fucking moron

and more... Image
Read 7 tweets
Oct 11, 2023
New York New York Thread /1

Trump was massively embarrassed in New York, and that trial still continues. But this incident (Trump sitting in NY court for 3 days and then bailed) exposes insight into how incredibly stupid, and self-destructive Trump is

Let's do a Thread Image
New York New York Thread /2

So what happened? Trump sat in the civil trial - he is NOT required to be there (he must attend all criminal trials which start in March 2024). He feuded with the judge, got hit with a gag order, then stormed out of New York. Let's see how dumb it was Image
New York New York Thread /3

Donald the Duck McTrump's whole brand is based on the carefully constructed fake illusion, that he is somehow a 'billionaire'. WE know he is not. That Trump is a fake, a con-artist, living on other people's money. But his SUPPORTERS believe that lie Image
Read 16 tweets
Oct 3, 2023
What happens next? The House cannot conduct any other business until it has selected a new House Speaker. The GOP is in civil war. It may be chaos for a while. Most likely they find a suitable Republican Speaker

DEMs do not have votes for DEM Speaker

BUT DEMs could make a deal Image
If a slice of Republicans (as few as 6) ally with DEMs, then that alliance could select (a Republican) speaker

Realistically the most logical such choice is an EX House Republican, like Liz Cheney

Because of GOP civil war, DEMs have leverage now Image
This is the deal I suggest:

DEMs make deal for ANY Republican who they can trust (like Liz Cheney, Kinzinger) where promise is 2 House Votes every week. One vote on legislation provided by GOP, the other vote legislation provided by DEMs. Both will get a floor vote each week Image
Read 4 tweets
Oct 1, 2023
Flipper Thread/1

With Friday's bombshell news in court filing by Jack Smith of 3 more prosecution witnesses - now just about as big as they come - let's do a Thread about the flippers in Trump's life, the rats who all testify under oath, in criminal courts, against Trump Image
Flipper Thread/2

Trump committed an act of insurgency against America. That word is rarely used. The legal EFFECT is the same as 'treason'. Trump committed a crime which is essentially as bad as treason

So who does Jack Smith have as a witness? Trump's OWN Attorney General Barr Image
Flipper Thread/3

Bill Barr was not just the nation's top lawyer, as Attorney General, when this plot was first hatched - Barr learned of the idea - and TOLD TRUMP IT IS ILLEGAL. That is what Barr will testify under oath. That Trump KNEW this plot is illegal

But it gets worse Image
Read 24 tweets

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