I totally get this as a trans Autistic ADHDer with chronic issues. I'm exciting to see what the programme brings and what Christine shares.
I understand myself more after diagnosis.
She is hyper sensitive with noise and smells like me! I also assumed i was like other people with my sensory experiences.
I've had far too long to over analyse everything going on at the end of the award evening.
She struggled having her script changed - why is this happening at a neurodiversity award!?
This doesn't make sense!?
She is always trying to guess what is happening next and I experience the same.
She says she finds it quite scary. I totally get it. And now she's over analysing how she came across on stage.
This over analysing 'is exhausting.'
"Female autism" ooooops. Not a choice of words I'd ever use.
Much more research with women and girls is great but where is the understanding for other gender minorities?
The myths are still out there.
Masking includes copying and scripting, im so glad they're talking about this on national TV. And that it can be both conscious and unconscious.
Christine has had lots of messages from other women who are starting their diagnosis journey.
She was worried about the programme being sexist. Gods bless her.
Its really sad to think that there could be teenage girls going through what I was at their age without the answers I have now.
Leanne has 'serious mental health issues' since she was 13 due to being undiagnosed.
"Im mad, am I broken, what is wrong with me?"
She was diagnosed social anxiety and bipolar whilst going to school.
Leanne was described as a home bode and happily solitary by her mum.
It was nice to see her Mum say that she missed so many things and that she regrets it.
Cw: medication, institutionalisation
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Leanne was diagnosed with a personality disorder and institutionalised with medication which effected her heart rate. Her mum suggested autism but was ignored for the most part.
Cw: self harm, suicide.
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Leanne had a really good nurse who made sure she got referred for an autism diagnosis.
Leanne says her diagnosis has saved her life, she has stopped self harm and trying to kill herself.
I really have an issue that women and girls hide being autistic better.
NO people don't look well enough and this is based on stereotypes on women and girls and those who are perceived as women and girls.
"I never ate at school again"
I feel this, I never are anything ar secondary school.
Cw. Eating and eating disorders
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Christine was diagnosed with an eating disorder at age 14 after not getting her periods.
She just wanted and needed to eat plain dry food.
Cw: eating disorder
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Fiona was diagnosed with an eating disorder before she was diagnosed autistic. She felt she was aways getting everything wrong and was getting panic attacks.
I know this is being experienced by the kids I work with and it breaks my heart.
Fiona said that focusing on her eating made her feel like she was in control, she finally felt she was getting something right.
Doctors assumed she ate less due to her wanting to stay thin.
Fiona doesn't like to try new food due to unknown textures.
She shuts down when she is overwhelmed.
"The more I read about autism it all made sense."
She wrote a ten page letter to her doctor and they changed her care.
Fiona now has a job and is going back to university. She is managing food a lot better now her care is based around her Autistic needs.
I don't know how I feel about the Dr looking at her eating disorder patients for autism.
Interesting that Christine struggles with eye contact with people with bright coloured eyes and less so with dark eyes.
This must be a sensory thing?
"The beige diet"
We all know this one very well! I'm glad the hospital is more focused on people eating what they can and being able to function with this food intake instead of trying to force them to eat stuff they just won't.
Transition from primary to secondary school is really difficult. There are fewer set rules, different classes with different children.
That transition is a 'perfect storm' for children being more outwardly autistic.
"I realised the power of pretending"
Christine talking about beauty pageants and modelling.
Modelling was very structured and she enjoyed the call sheets. She found it easy as she was given a role to play. She wasn't going to be judged for who she actually was.
When I got diagnosed I went out on a perspnal mission to find out who I actually was.
Shedding her old identity since being diagnosed and separating from Paddy.
Her wardrobe is very different to mine, hers is muted and mine is loud, bright colours and mixed patterns and textiles.
She says she doesn't know what to do with dating and she is petrified of the change.
Finding out your are autistic later in life can be very isolating.
There is so much asking for consent in this programme and I love that in Autistic spaces.
"How do you like eye contact?"
"Do you do hugs?"
I find I am asked things like this by other Auties all the time and I also ask it of other people too. Its fab.
Melissa's son was "acting up" in nursery was diagnosed Autistic.
She said that all the information online was based around boys. All four members of their family are formally diagnosed as Autistic now.
The longer you have the diagnosis the more you learn to work out whats good and what works for you.
Mums always put our kids first so we look after them first and ourselves second so it takes longer to work yourself out - amen!
When I started to be more authentic everything got better for me across the different areas of my life.
I'm super glad this had worked out for Melissa especially as a black woman living in the UK.
"I find paperwork really overwhelming"
Oh I feel this in my bones!!
My husband does all mine and our household paperwork.
122,000 people in the UK are waiting for an autism diagnosis.
Christine reflects that although she was late diagnosed she is still lucky to have a diagnosis as many people don't.
Cw: sexual and domestic abuse.
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Findings that 9 out of 10 women she works with, as a neurodevelopment specialist, have a history of sexual and / or domestic abuse.
I know this statistic all to well.
Consent can be a real issue for us to understand as we are not speaking the same language as non-autistic people.
It is often assumed of us making us more vulnerable to many things.
Cw: rape.
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Christine shares that she was raped when she was younger and that was one of the reasons she didn't want to be alive any more.
I'm so glad they're talking about consent and abuse.
Its a really, really important topic for autistic people, especially girls, women and gender diverse folk.
"I used to feel alone [in mainstream education] but I don't feel alone any more"
Young girl in the girls Autistic school (I didn't catch the name!)
The autistic mums group gives me so much joy to watch!
Watching other autistic people having fun and laughing together is amazing.
"What if you never turned up from your own life."
What another amazing programme on the BBC about Autistic experience.
It was very emotional and Im crying a little bit now. A good watch just be mindful there is talk of abuse and self harm.
Change *is* disastrous. And it definitely feels like a loss of control.
Definitely a hidden crisis but it shouldn't be hidden! People should be watching out for people who may need help. It shouldn't be for us to constantly have to reach out for support which is inappropriate or simply doesn't exist.
The difference between Autistic masking and Autistic shielding, a thread.
Ahead of my talk on this, thisWednesday on @aucademy
Autistic masking is a trauma response to the consistent bullying, harassment, stigma and marginalisation Autistic people face.
It is so much more than trying to fit in or fly under the radar. It is unconscious self-preservation, an automatic response to keep us safe.
There is also a misconception around Autistic masking that we become outwardly non-Autistic in our behaviours, mannerisms and speech.
This plays very nicely into the neuro-majority idea of invisible disabilities and differences, which is a total fallacy. The idea of ‘invisible’ disabilities was created so that non-Disabled people could continue to gaslight, neglect and abuse us under the guise of ‘not knowing’
The undue pressure to make our own accessibility needs meet in education is astounding.
This doesn't get any easier as we get older and go into further education. 1/6
University is filled with so many difficult social interactions, sensory overwhelming spaces, changing timetables and the emails, oh the fucking emails!
There are freezing rooms, boiling hot rooms, tiny tables, people everywhere... 2/6
...and the smells and noises which come with them), no windows in some rooms, feedback from class microphones...
There were no lockers at my uni so I had to take all my stuff with me, including lunch as food is so expensive - and not very nice - there. 3/6
My area of specialised interest is trans and / or non-binary Autistic experiences.
I wrote my undergrad thesis on supporting gender divergent Autistic students. I just finished my MRes on trans+ Autistic narratives and recommendations for research on our experiences. 1/5
This is important to me as a trans masc NBi Autistic person who works with gender divergent Autistic young people. I have just handed in my 20,000 word dissertation. 2/5
I will share my findings early next year with info graphics, plain language summaries etc and possibly in Spanish as well!
Here are the articles from my Trans and Autistic series so far:
Joining a #LongCovid online support group is definitely something...a 🧵[thread]
Listening to people who were able bodied experiencing disability for the first time definitely brings up so serious feelings for me, anger, frustration, annoyance 1/8
I just want to sit in the middle of it all and shout and the want to shout "some of us live like this all the time and no one cares!? Now you can finally see what that feels like."
But I don't want to dismiss anyone's very valid feelings about having their mental and 2/8
Physical health stripped away from them.
They are now part of the Disabled community, *my* community. But they bring with them so much shame and unhappiness. Feelings I totally understand and are valid but are very difficult to listen to as a long term Disabled person. 3/8