Thread by @eduwonkette_jen

🧵May the Power of the Free Market Flow Through You

Go on now, ChatGPT. Make #edutwitter great again.

1/10

In a grand office above the skyline, billionaire heiress Betsy DeVos sat with a cashmere black cloak draped over her head and her face barely showing.

Suddenly, the door burst open.

Her operative Corey DeAngelis swaggered in, clad in a black suit, helmet, and Gucci loafers.

2

"Report, Corey," she said, her tone as steely as her resolve to destroy public schools.

"We've made serious inroads to pass school vouchers in every state," he said in his modulated voice. "But we're facing resistance."

"Teachers waiting to be told what to do?" she asked.

3

Corey bowed his head, his helmet glinting in the dim light. "I continue to crush our enemies, my Lady," he said, pulling out his tweets.

"Delete your account"

"Based"

"Your sent your kid to private school"

"With your funds, my Lady, private schools will reign supreme."

4

Betsy smiled, her lips twisting into a menacing grin.

"Let the power of the free market flow through you, Corey. No public school must be left behind. They are nothing more than an adult daycare. A dangerous daycare"

She put down her rifle. "Threats from potential grizzlies"
5

Corey nodded, his voice resonating an ominous tone. "We will not falter, my Lady. If anyone tries to resist us, I will crush them with the full force of my 28 years."

Betsy chuckled darkly. "Indeed, Corey. But let's make our victory all the more sweet."

6

"We need celebrity endorsements. Perhaps Elon Musk will tweet about the benefits of private schools."

Corey raised an eyebrow. "Elon Musk, my Lady?"

"Yes, Elon Musk. If we can get him on board, he could help us sway public opinion in our favor. He’s very popular."

7

A few days later, Corey returned with a sheaf of papers.

"My Lady, I have a tweet that Elon Musk has agreed to post in support of our cause."

Betsy leaned forward, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "Did he mention HBCU's as the first model of school choice? Let me see."

8/

Corey hesitated. "It's a picture of Elon Musk wearing a High School Musical jacket with a group of private school students."

Slowly, he read:

“Winners like me need private school education." #MyWorldMyChoice

9/

Betsy's eyes narrowed, and she leaned forward in her chair, the light glinting off her perfectly coiffed hair.

"Excellent, Corey. Our plan is proceeding as planned."

TBC/end for now