One of the most devalued tools of tarbiya is the spiritual harnessing of family fun.
Children, in their relationships with others, are deeply affected by non-rational influences...
This makes them both vulnerable and impressionable, in heightened sensitivity to their caregivers, who have only to exert the most positive emotions they can conjure to create a loving, lasting bond, stiched in time with the thread of beautiful memories.
The main objective of social media is to use, even manipulate, the evocative to *influence* the ‘public customer’.
That’s why the *rational* hardly has a place in the digital jungle.
That’s why the *rational* hardly has a place in the digital jungle.
In real life, though, with real people, who have real meaning in our lives, the evocative is a tool of love and the heart is the real memory album.
We often wonder why teenagers gradually distance themselves from their parents. The answer is that children, just like anyone else, by their very human nature, will register time and attention as care, and so, as adults, will reciprocate only what was given to them.
Of the greatest signs with which I evaluate the success of my parenting is the inherent desire within my children, at every stage of their development, to seek out my companionship.
Yes, parenting is serious, but it is in the moments of laughter and joy that our children find a sanctuary of serenity, a storehouse of renewed energy, and a refuge from the burdens of worldly life.
In fact, the same is true for all personal relationships.
What good is a marriage if isn’t fun? 🙂
What is a friend with whom you cannot sometimes find joyful folly in between the lines of the solemn contract of respect and loyalty.
So, on this blessed Friday, or this weekend, please take your family out for some fun, not inspite of your disciplinary role, but in full compliance with what means to be a true parent.
“I hope you can find some time this weekend to relax and unwind.”
“Don’t hold back. Just have a good time. We’ll make the rules up as we go along and break them all if we’re not having fun.”
“Let’s save our troubles for another day. Let me take you on an escapade.”
“…and you know, it’s Friday too.”
جمعة مبارك
May Allah’s infinite peace & blessings be upon Rasūlullāh, his pure progeny & folk, along with his gleaming companions, illuminated inheritors, and all loyal followers until the Last Day.
اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد نورِ الأنوار وسر الأسرار وترياق الأغيار ومفتاح باب اليسار ،سيدنا محمد المختار ،وآله الأطهار وأصحابه الأخيار عدد نعم الله و افضاله
الحمد لله ربّ العالمين
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On the morning commute, my daughter asked to review the structure of Arabic verbs. She said,
الفعل المضارع مرفوع أليس كذلك؟
Present tense is marfū’, right?
I said, “Yes. It’s معرب (grammatically variable), as opposed to the past tense…
1/
“…which is مبني (grammatically inherent).” I gave her some examples, then said,
“Do you see the miracle of the Arabic language? It mirrors reality. Can we change the past — no, but we can change the present.”
In her intelligence, she said, “Mama, what about فعل الأمر ?
2/
I said, “The command tense is also مبني (inherent) but appears in different forms. Do you see now, my love, why Allāh chose the Arabic language for the Quran? It mirrors Reality.”
Meanwhile, she was eating breakfast. She said, شبعتُ (I am satiated). We said the masnun du’ā’.
A common sufi metaphor, in reference to the ‘masculine’ trait of generous sovereignty & the feminine trait of humble receptivity. All true believers (male & female), in relation to God, exhibit the ‘female principle’.
…but rather an expression of the relationship with the Divine in it being so beyond words that only the closest of human relationships could approximate it to the limits of the rational mind. Tasawwuf is supra-rational. Spiritual intelligence is the most sophisticated of all…
People are always enemies of what they don’t know, finding more comfort in denial than learning. Such is the curse of ignorance. Tasawwuf is the most courageous of all form of knowledge. The mind can only take one so far. Only cowards limit themselves to it. Those who know, know.
There is a fundamental rational problem with any sort of pontification on social media. It’s mutlaq, meaning mentioned ‘in the general’, as a principle, despite it coming from the posters *personal* vantage.
This creates many problems….
1 The illusion of understanding. The reader takes the ‘principle’ and applies it in their mind wherever they see fit and in accordance to their (non-expert) conceptualization of it, when, in reality, they’re processing it through the ego, in accordance to their whims….
2 The illusion of ownership. “Liking” something has implications associated with it, namely that one has grasped the full ramifications of it and can transition it from theory to application. Even among scholarship, it’s an advanced skill. Laymen don’t even have basic skills…
About now, you’re all aware that I’m no fan of social media. I opened an Insta account last year and, well, from ‘how it started’ to ‘how it’s going’…let’s just say that I have a folder entitled #messed_up. On occasion, I’ll share some “goodies”…
Our first exhibit is the ~80% of posts classifying women based on their “mindset” toward men as the determining factor of their “value”. How droll. As women, we’re supposed to be brainwashed into thinking that our intrinsic value is completely dependent on how we attract men?
Do pardon me. When a person’s value is made subservient to another’s actions, we have a word for that in English; it’s called slavery. The intrinsic human value of a woman is exactly as that of a man, because it’s fully dependent on how she relates to God, her (and his) Creator…
1 in 6 U.S. children aged 2–8 years (17.4%) had a diagnosed mental, behavioral, or developmental disorder.
So young. Look at the increase over age bracket.
Reminds me of an incident with my daughter when she was 4 and had observed…
a group of (Muslim) teenagers. She was perplexed by their behavior and asked me one of the most insightful questions I’ve been asked by anyone, including adults.
“Mama, aren’t people supposed to get better when they’re older?”
I smiled, took her into my arms and said…
“Yes. They are.”
Entirety satisfied, she cheerfully jumped off my lap and went to play, and I just stood there, amazed by her intellect and simultaneously frightened because I knew that children, most of them, even Muslims, were not “getting better when they’re older”…
Nostalgia. There were days when I had no social media accounts. Now, here we are, witnessing people spread the same dumb trending clip/song by the millions, never getting bored, but when called to worship once/week, it’s banal. Alhamdulillāh for the days of sweet solitude.
Ramadān is coming. Learn to be alone. Learn to be silent. Learn to be worshipful. Learn to hear your own intentions instead of the noise outside. Learn to take charge of your life instead of being led by the trends of others. Be centered, not scattered. Be whole, not tattered.
Some fear ostentation in worship. This is a beginner stage in which creation still holds weight in the heart.
What is it that truly needs to be emptied — the stomach or the soul?
How many will fast, spending hours hungry while, at every moment, their hearts are stock full…