TW…ideation
How do people cope when thoughts are prevalent but there is the also despair of knowing we’d not carry out? We’ve a fear of hurting people (so some might say that’s a ‘protective factor’) &/or messing it up BUT then we feel trapped by the thought we have no way out.
And just to add, we bought this book for ourselves from @SuicideCrisis but for some reason we are ‘banned’ (by selves?) from reading it.
& another thing. When is a crisis a crisis? We’ve never phoned NHS crisis team as despite offering training, it’s never been taken up. No surprises there 🙄if there’s no guaranteed treatment pathway they’re unlikely to train staff in a ‘condition’ that’s not commissioned #DID 😩
🧵 Living and exercising with #DID#ukrunchat
3 weeks ago we pushed the pace whilst out running. Hadn’t done any speed work or hills etc for months as was too worried about my injury prone body. Had several months of steady miles & strength training under my belt & felt ready.
My head was beyond full from everything we are managing - marriage breakdown, prospect of moving home, menopause and of course living with #DissociativeIdentityDisorder - The symptoms for which are just so vast and debilitating that we are too exhausted to try and explain.
TW❗️
That Saturday morning we NEEDED to run hard. Had our mind set on max perceived effort, an out and back of 20 mins each way & ran alongside an experienced and fast runner. So this is where the ability to dissociate becomes dangerous and some might say was an act of #SelfHarm
A 🧵 This #DIDAwarnessDay MeWe have some news to share. Since last October a small volunteer group, including ourselves, have been working hard to prepare for starting a charity for and by people with dissociative disorders, their supporters and professionals working in the field
Hey #Dissociatwt We had one of the most terrifying somatoform symptoms last night, possibly after a trauma dream but it’s all foggy. We could feel our legs but could not feel the outsides of our skin on our top half but we were able to move our limbs. At the same time the inside
of our body was hurting so much, it felt like we were drugged. The pain was such that we felt we needed a huge amount of pressure to relieve it BUT we couldn’t feel our skin on any of our top half of our body. We tried rocking to feel the bed underneath us, we tried slapping
we still couldn’t feel and we felt trapped as we couldn’t get enough momentum to get out of bed as our top half wasn’t able to feel the edges of body. I then thought maybe if I doubled over our weighted blanket that would help but it didn’t. I then tried punching and that helped
When she was someone’s wife, someone’s employee, someone’s boss, someone’s social planner, someone’s rock, someone’s bank, someone’s house mover someone’s font of know how, someone’s home & meal provider, someone’s champion then she was in demand, popular some might say.
Now she is not able to do those things for people in the same way. She is now we and we feel invisible. The body of course is visible but the role we played in peoples lives for most of our life is no more. No doubt they resent it.
I resent it, did not ask for this, yes it’s an amazing survival skill, yes we think others like us are some of the most insightful, imaginative, soulful, intelligent & wonderful people, but let’s face it, it’s shit. Where do people find hope in this existence?
Anyone know of any credible articles or research on lack of mind/body connection affecting proprioception & movement? IE we’ve spent so long being detached from our bodies that new neural pathways need to be formed when doing physical exercise? #Dissociatwt#therapistconnect
Let me explain..if we’re learning a new move in the gym we often know we’ve sent a message to that body part to move but it doesn’t. We’ve found ways of helping pathway establish like slapping that area, looking at it, talking out loud, doing the movement at same time as others
When we are running, if there is anything that signals ‘danger’ eg we can’t see where our feet land, uneven ground, shade or low light and especially down hill sections we FREEZE. It could be that this is a separate ‘trigger’ but I think the two are connected.
Hey peops with #DID#OSDD we reached out in a #DID forum to ask if anyone was prepared to help us a logo for our system name which is ETERNITY. As we’ve a background in marketing we gave some thought to our collective ‘brand identity’, a logo being an outward expression of that.
We wanted an alternative to ‘my’ face because of course not all of our internal family see themselves this way. So we very much hope this will help with the dysphoria system members feel when they see my image on social media in profiles etc.
We explained how our system name came about in the first live webinar we did which hopefully many of you have seen/listened to. We also took inspiration from the web about symbols that represent ETERNITY / eternal / infinity.