Last night my toddler had an absolute screaming meltdown and I think I handled it really well and wanted to share with all the #ADHD parents out there.
We did our regular bath and bedtime routine, and while my child doesn't have a diagnosis, other adults consistently give me the feedback that she has lower listening skills, more energy/need for movement, and less focus than her peers. She also is OPPOSITIONAL AS HECK.
like, literally just won't do a thing because you told her to do it. Doesn't matter what. The other day I was hanging with a little friend of hers about the same age. I said, "Coraline, do you need to go potty?" she said "yes". I told her to pause the show and go, and SHE DID.
there's a lot of big talk about dopamine and ADHD, especially on TikTok. I wanna talk about some of the common misconceptions that I see about the role of dopamine in #ADHD - WITH THE CAVEAT THAT - I am not a scientist or a doctor, so if I get things wrong, someone plz correct me
First off, let's start out with what dopamine is. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter or "chemical messenger", one of several implicated in ADHD. It's associated with a feeling of anticipation of pleasure or reward. It does various things in the role of movement, learning etc
Here are some common misconceptions or not-quite-right things I've heard on ND tiktok and twitter about dopamine:
So I have long pondered how I can support ND people in crisis, like, those for whom coaching is not appropriate. Don't get me wrong; I think coaching is the bees knees but you kinda have to be at a certain place in your life for it to make sense for you
if you're struggling to just keep a roof over your head you don't have a lot of capacity to think about the best strategy not to lose your keys, or what you *really* want out of life and how to work with your ADHD to get there. And I've coached lots of people in crisis;
just being a presence there, being a person who supports them, cares about them and holds the space & helps them work through figuring things out when everything feels like it's on fire is a worthy endeavour, but in that situation coaching isn't helping the best it can
hey #ADHD twitter, an American client has a medical problem I don't know how to solve.
This client went to a psychiatrist and was prescribed meds for ADHD. Then their insurance lapsed and one appointment was not paid for. The doctor advised the client they owed $500
which the client could not pay (but offered half). The client asked for their medical records to go to another doctor, and was refused. They were told that their medical records do not belong to them and would not be released until the bill was settled.
The client got the police involved and a police report was filed, but the client was told it was a civil matter and that they would need to get a lawyer. As a result, the client has not been able to get a prescription for their ADHD medication.
Good morning! Here’s your Mon morning #ADHD basics thread:
ADHD causes an inability to “feel” time. It is said that people with ADHD have a short “time horizon”; that we can’t see very far into the future. Since we struggle both to measure time (as in, how long something takes)
And to feel the future, it can complicate a lot of things. Some examples:
- chronic lateness due to not knowing how long things actually take (like getting ready, driving somewhere etc)
- overbooking /busying oneself due to not being able to accurately judge how much time things will take up in the schedule
- not being able to work consistently toward a goal because it feels too far away and it’s in the “not-now”
Here’s a story for the ‘kids with #adhd tend to have social struggles due to NOT paying attention to social cues’ file (@AuthorCarolineM you’re going to love this one).
In the early 90s I was invited to my friend Gillian’s birthday. We were 9, maybe 10.
My mom took me to the mall to get her a gift. At the time I thought my big brother was just about the coolest guy in the world (he’s 7 years older than me) and that everything he liked was the best, and at that time he was really into rap and hip hop.
I had seen this @SnoopDogg cassette tape he had, and it had a little cartoon comic inside, so naturally that is what I got her. I guess my mom just… didn’t check or look at it? Because this was the comic:
I think one thing people forget about #ADHD is that it creates a variable capacity. People don't understand how someone can be so high-performing and then the next time, forget something completely basic and important or make a really careless mistake.
This also has ramifications for the person WITH ADHD... imagine thinking "i've got this! I've done this before!" and then goofing up big time in a way that is frankly embarrassing and just... not being able to explain how that happened 🤷♀️
In a sense you know; you can look back and realize, "I was distracted", "I wasn't paying attention" etc... but it seems infathomable. To have a variable capacity costs us our relationship with ourselves because adults with ADHD come to mistrust their own capacity.
Focusmate - offers up to 3 free body doubling sessions a month and then is only $5/month membership afterwards. Body doubling is, IMHO the *GOLD STANDARD* of productivity support for the Thing I Can't Make Myself Sit Down And Do
so I see a lot of people talking about struggling with exercise with #ADHD and I just wanted to talk a little bit about what has worked for me in cultivating a habit around physical movement:
keep in mind that all ADHDers are different so what works for me may not work for you, but I definitely was a person who, for many years, struggled to find ways of moving my body and getting exercise that felt enjoyable and sustainable and not like TOTAL DEATH
the first thing I had to acknowledge was that I was in a neverending cycle of body shame or guilt> frantically decide to start a new habit of being "fit" > immediately try to do too much (like working out 5 days or working out for an hour) >
to add another layer; tiktok is a fucked up platform where A LOT of ppl are presenting themselves as educators or speaking like experts when they're just people. Anybody's tiktok can go viral and it's a heady feeling.
so on the one hand you've got these discussions around self-diagnosis being a valid thing, which it is. But on the other hand you've got people self-diagnosing as autistic now speaking on TikTok, wanting to educate others about autism when they themselves are quite new to it
and that can be really frustrating for the more ... how do I say this? 'established' autistic creators? Again; not to undermine the importance of self-diagnosis - its really important to recognize the systemic barriers that prevent people, esp women and BIPOC folks from accessing
okay so here's a snippet of what you missed on #neurodiverse TikTok yesterday; there was two things happening at once and they intersected so it got confusing
both things basically involved autistic tiktok vs ADHD tiktok which probably got really confusing for the people who are diagnosed as both. One issue was around gatekeeping and lateral ableism, and the other a more serious issue around research ethics vs. grassroots understanding
I know ppl on both sides of the research ethics debate & it's being dealt w already so I don't want to comment more on what happened there; let's just say that there are a lot of exciting and scientific things that eager ADHD folx are learning that COULD deepen our understanding
One of the most under-talked about things around #ADHD is what it means to be pregnant, and to go through pregnancy with ADHD.
first of all, the biggest question for pregnant people is often around meds. If they are on them, do they have to stop? can they breastfeed on meds? If they are seeking an ADHD diagnosis at the time, can they start meds?
I'm not here to advise anyone about their medication situation since i'm not a doctor, but here's what I can tell you;
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO CONSENSUS ON WHETHER A PERSON CAN OR SHOULD TAKE MEDS WHILE PREGNANT OR BREASTFEEDING
hey so sometimes I don't feel like doing anything and I like to use an #ADHD hack I call the 'reverse pomodoro'. I'm sure I didn't invent this & many others have thought of it too but if you're feeling super unmotivated - read this!
so a regular pomodoro is where you go between work and rest periods, usually like 20-25 minutes on and 5 minutes rest. There are mixed reactions from the ADHD community - on the one hand, breaking hyperfocus helps you check in with yourself and not overextend yourself
or if the work you're doing is super painfully boring, you only have to go 20 mins at a time. On the other hand, if you are in hyperfocus it can be almost painful to stop what you're doing and you can lose your place, making jumping back in a challenge.
#ADHD 101; things you may or may not have known were ADHD things (and yes I know some of these things can be connected to other diagnoses!)
The well known:
- chronic lateness /poor time management
- chronic disorganization/ mess
The lesser known things:
- inability to get started on things unless the "mood" is exactly right
- problems finishing anything
- piss poor self talk (always putting self down or giving yourself shit)
- black and white / all or nothing thinking
- a long "ramping up" period before you can do a thing where it looks like you're doing nothing but actually you're mentally gearing up
- emotional dysregulation; big emotions, being "too sensitive"
- rejection sensitivity
- trouble with relationships due to poor boundaries
hey you know how when you have #ADHD sometimes your thoughts are all swirly and you just keep chewing on the same thought over and over and you can't stop thinking about it and it's distracting you and sometimes even putting you in a really bad mood or making you irritable?
my friend, you are RUMINATING
let's talk about rumination
Rumination is different from normal, healthy thought. It actually is a part of ADHD and a byproduct of poor attention regulation because it's essentially hyperfocusing...on a thought.
hey #ADHD#NeurodiverseSquad. There's some hot button debates going on about the use of certain terms which already have clinically significant meaning, being used in different and new ways to describe our experiences. I'm going to weigh in. Bear with me.
There are two sides to the debate (well, three if you count people who don't care):
- Side 1: Terms that already have a scientific or clinical meaning shouldn't be co-opted to explain other experiences because it muddies the waters and discredits us vis a vis having our experiences taken seriously by medical professionals who are gonna side-eye us
So last week I really fell off the wagon, organizationally. I noticed about mid-week that I was going from hyperfocus to hyperfocus, my house was a mess, I kept forgetting to eat, I was staying up late and not getting enough sleep, I didnt feel like showering or brushing my teeth
All these things add to each other, of course. The less I sleep the less I can regulate my executive function, the more my focus and energy bounces around, and so on and so forth. I was forgetting to drink water, charge my phone, impulsively spending etc
I cant say exactly why or where it started and maybe it doesn't matter. What matters is that sometimes when you have #ADHD your executive function just goes off the rails sometimes. Some weeks are better and some weeks are worse. You cant stop the bad weeks, you cant be perfect
I'm always surprised that not everyone with #ADHD knows about RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) and it's like, a real important part of having ADHD. Let's break it down!
while not officially in the DSM as part of having ADHD, RSD is widely known to impact many, if not all, ADHDers. It's the perception that one is being criticized or rejected as a result of neutral stimuli.
so for example, you ask me how I'm doing today, I reply, "fine" with a neutral/not smiling face - and your brain immediately goes to "oh God, is she mad at me? She must be mad at me. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something rude the last time we hung out?"
Hey do you have #ADHD and have you ever been / are you a manager? I have some tips for you! (Also add your tips to this thread)
Managing people with ADHD can be tough for a couple reasons. #1 ya gotta prioritize....which our brains kind of don't really do. #2 you have to delegate, and then YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU DELEGATED TO WHOM
#3 you have to discipline people or hold them accountable, which means you CAnT bE eVErYbOdY's BeSt FrIEnD, and also it means you have to be accountable