Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #AlexDrunkHistory
Most recents (8)
I’m almost, but not quite, drunk enough to talk about how World War I could have been avoided if Rudolf of Austria wasn’t an emo goth who liked to bang teenagers and also if Franz Ferdinand’s driver had a decent map of Sarajevo #AlexDrunkHistory
I mean, to be fair, there would have been war anyway. Nobody in Austria actually gave a shit about Franz Ferdinand. Viennese headlines the evening of June 28, 1914: 
World War I actually started because Russia was doing the Russia Thing of being all “we were FORCED to invade this other Slavic country, it ASKED for our help against internal dissidents”
I’m... on the front page of @Wikipedia for the next 24 hours...? Life is strange (but I’m not complaining)
Buy Archie vs Predator! Digital only because it’s sold out and Dark Horse hasn’t printed more: comixology.com/Archie-vs-Pred…
My Soundcloud &c (check the latest update for lots of fun #AlexDrunkHistory threads): unbound.com/books/the-scot…
Hey if you’re ever mad at your boss for being behind the times, try being an English soldier in 1215 when your officers were still using a Roman text from ~395 AD as their instructional manual for siege warfare
even tho ROMANS DIDN’T HAVE CASTLES
woo #AlexDrunkHistory is GO
even tho ROMANS DIDN’T HAVE CASTLES
woo #AlexDrunkHistory is GO
(The text was Vegetius’ De Re Militari, mostly forgotten now but living on in Senate subcommittees, thanks to its one big line: “if you want peace, prepare for war”)
Anyway before we get into the fun world of mangonel vs trebuchet vs ballista and the excellent Roller Derby names they were given (“Warwolf”!) lets back up a bit and talk about Why Castles, and Why Sieges.
So I’m never drinking again but it’s time for #AlexDrunkHistory! We’re still on the Crimea but we’re also going to sideswipe the Irish Potato Famine and I’m going to introduce you to your next woman crush, the most badass gal in the Crimean War: MARY SEACOLE
sure, Florence Nightingale was there too
Pop quiz: guess what enemy killed the most British soldiers in the Crimean War?
❌ The Russians
✅ C H O L E R A
❌ The Russians
✅ C H O L E R A
I have tequila and want to yell about the Crimean War and how rapid innovations in gun technology, as perfectly encapsulated in one charge during the Battle of Balaclava (1854) marked the twilight of horse cavalry on European battlefields!#AlexDrunkHistory
(The Crimean War, 1853-55, was ENG / FRA / TUR vs opportunistic RUS expansionism into the tottering Ottoman Empire, but the Russians claimed it was actually about ethics in videogame journalism. Took place on the west and north Black Sea coast.)
Hahaha, no, I’m *not* going to talk about the Charge of the Light Brigade
...Besides, all you need to know about it is that the guy leading the charge named his horse “Ronald”
...Besides, all you need to know about it is that the guy leading the charge named his horse “Ronald”
An extremely important entry in the field of Comparative Brothel Studies. Also note Cynthia Payne in first pic, demonstrating the hand gesture falsely attributed to English longbowmen
Here, from a 1901 Mitchell & Kenyon film shot at the Parkgate steel works in Rotherham, the first recorded example of the Great British V-sign (chap at 1:03): #AlexDrunkHistory
(I’m not actually drunk right now, but I *am* trying to tag my history tweets for your future enjoyment. Probably going to do a thread every Sat nite when I can. Thinking about the Crimea next...)
Buckle up for #AlexDrunkHistory: the Tour de Nesle Affair or, how epic pettiness and regifted handbags sank a 350 year old French dynasty and set up the Hundred Years War. First: meet Isabella, queen of England, daughter of France, wannabe Etsy store owner!
Depending on who you read, Isabella was either a total badass (invading England with her lover and 800 troops, AND WINNING) *or* a petty, calculating bitch. My opinion?
(for my money, tho, Empress Matilda was the biggest female badass in medieval England; she even ruled in her own name during the Anarchy, albeit briefly. We’ll talk about her another time.)
I’m drunk and want to yell at you about the weapon Pope Innocent II said would change the face of modern warfare forever and then had the Second Lateran Council ban it
yes that’s right THE CROSSBOW
who wants to talk 12th century ranged weapons?
yes that’s right THE CROSSBOW
who wants to talk 12th century ranged weapons?
(I mean, originally, Pope Urban II had his knickers in a twist about crossbows back in 1096, but the Second Lateran Council gets all the press)
So why should you give a shit about crossbows? Well, first, until about 1450 if you wanted a ranged weapon on an open battlefield you had two choices: longbow or crossbow. Artillery took a while to get to Europe after the Chinese invented gunpowder
