1/ Unpopular thinking alert…I’m about to get honest and vulnerable, so avert your eyes or come with me [thread].
It's been a #girlpower weekend.
I was watching with my kids when Naomi Osaka beat Coco Gauff. We saw that amazing display of grace and sportsmanship. Wait...
2/ get it right - 'sportswomanship', some said.
We saw the #WomenWorthWatching campaign - powerful and right.
My son said 'what does that even mean'?
And he meant it innocently in the 'of course women are worth watching' way.
If I explain, am I planting a seed?
3/ And the words are all around us.
💪Nope, 'knee push-ups' aren't 'girl push-ups'
⛳️Nope, those are the 'forward tees' - not the 'ladies tees'
“We can tough out this rain - there are no girls here!” says Sports Dad on the (co-ed) team.
Umm...
4/ How do I explain that yes, people say ‘girl’ or ‘lady’ when they mean ‘wimpy’ or 'less than' or 'not quite capable'.
People still say those things, often without even thinking.
Often, without malicious intent.
Too many people, too often.
5/ And they’re singing @taylorswift13 'The Man'
🎶I’d be a fearless leader, an alpha type…when everyone believes ya - what’s that like?
🎤and it’s all good if you’re bad, and it’s ok if you’re mad…
🎵’cause if I was a man, then I’d be The Man…
This so resonates, but...
6/ when my kids ask me what that means, I get a little uneasy.
@brynnelliott's 'Might Not Like Me' plays every hour at the pool.
J. says she wants to get smarter/stronger/faster than boys.
💕 her brave ambition.
💔 she thinks it's a fact that boys are all of those things.
7/ My son's observation: the song is ‘rude to boys’. He's hurt; I get it. I feel for him.
His response:🎵"If you don't like boys who are faster than you, you might not like me"
He's 9, but I know plenty of grown men who feel this way. Even my #HeForShe friends, sometimes.
8/ Remember the #LikeAGirl campaign in 2014?
Run #LikeAGirl.
Throw #LikeAGirl.
Fight #LikeAGirl.
Have we made any progress?
9/ Remember Madonna’s 2001 ‘What it Feels Like for a Girl’?
🎵when you open up your mouth to speak, could you be a little weak…
🎤when you’re trying hard to be your best, could you be a little less…
How many #womeninmedicine still face that today?
10/ So I’m watching my kids digest and absorb the idea that girls aren't as good as boys.
Enough people think so that we need anthems and #WomenWorthWatching and #TimesUp and #BeEthical and #HeForShe and talks like the one I gave last month on #genderequity in medicine.
11/ And as curious little kids, they have questions and feelings and it’s complicated.
This was the first time I’d truly seen my daughter contemplate the idea that maybe girls weren’t as capable, and so maybe she wasn’t either.
And what's the impact on my son's worldview?
12/ #ImplicitBias needs to be addressed.
We must speak up and speak out, of course. But I also think we may be reinforcing bias with words.
These past few days, an overwhelm of messages seemed to backfire.
Maybe this is my own #momfail.
13/ Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting we do away with words.
I know these are supposed to be teachable moments.
I don't pretend to have the answers, don't always know what to do or say.
But I do know one thing for sure...
14/ We will change the way we think when we change what we see.
When we change where and how we actually see women leading and succeeding.
Being supported and celebrated.
So don't stop making change.
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