Thread by @santhoshd

Deplorable that #NamoAt72 endures hashtags like #NationalUnemploymentDay & #राष्ट्रीय_बेरोजगार_दिवस.

Record job loss, inflation & cronyism are no excuses not to say #HappyBdayModiji.

Since I'm jobless, here's a thread of videos to entertain Narendrabhai & other jobless folk...

Modi the Mathematician figured out where the 2ab in (a+b)² comes from. You see, no one had taught him that (a+b) * (a+b) inherently produces it.

So he spent his entire sojourn in some Himalayan cave to come up with this explanation...

#ClimateEmergency activists have long despaired of human society acting with any urgency on the issue. Modi the Modifier brilliantly figured out that the way to tackle a global problem is to completely redefine it. The climate hasn't changed, it is humans who are getting older...

Modi had spent decades presenting himself as unmarried, so much so that even in election affidavits, he'd leave the column for Spouse blank. Such a long disdain for the marital bond naturally made him forget what Mrs. means...

Damodardas the consummate Geographer has wandered around the world, mapping nations and states in his typical painstaking fashion. It isn't surprising that he managed to unearth something to present Kerala as Somalia.

Narendrabhai is an unabashed fan of technology. He also is proud of his heritage of selling tea in non-existent railway stations. Here he managed to combine both to produce a fairytale about a tea-seller who piped gas leaking from gutters to boil his tea...

Ustad Allarakha was fondly known as Abbaji. As far as Modi is concerned, Ustad was probably suspect. He was Muslim, from J&K & a musician (albeit world-renowned). No one can claim Modi an afficionado of anything cultural or literary.

Puzzling why he called Shinzo Abe Abbaji...

Modi never lets his scientific ignorance prevent hypothesezing. People pooh-poohed Stem Cells "40 yrs ago", though stem cells were discovered 150 years ago. Stem cell & plastic surgery were in vogue in ancient India.

What'll he say about Aphrodite's birth or Anubis' head?...

Modi-G is obsessed with acronyms, NITI, GATI, THIS, THAT. Normally this works alright, because he has an army fluent in Hindi toiling away to come up with words to fit.

But when it comes to English, he and his motley group run into weaknesses...

The definitive proof that his circle is terrified of Modi is that despite the universal mockery of the theories he has floated, no one has told him to stop. Here he conceives of a wind turbine so miraculous that it can extract Oxygen from the atmosphere...

People have become so inured to Modi's fakery that even the man considered to be his closest confidante and "friend" dismisses the stuff that Modi spouts as "Jhumla"...

The man is a colossus when he's got a teleprompter telling him what to say, especially in Hindi. But what's he gonna do if the teleprompter folds?

Butcher the pronunciation of Klaus Schwab of course...

If I told anyone I met that Modi believes "Indians" ruled the world 40,000 years ago, with nuclear weapons and inter-planetary travel, they are likelier to believe me than not.

Sadly Mughal invaders and British colonialists stripped us of the competence to even draw an arrow...

There is no evidence that Modi loves any human being, but plenty to prove that the camera is irresistible to him. He'll not let anyone else ruin a photo opportunity...

The man with folded hands passing Modi by was the then President of India.

The people on the left in the foreground are camerapersons.

Who held Modi's attention, do you think?...

Mark Zuckerberg is one of the most powerful humans on the planet.

Think again.

It's the person toting a camera...

Modi claimed that he was in mortal danger when his bulletproof car and cavalcade approached a crowd of peaceful demonstrators.

Such a man would be grateful for the guards keeping him safe from the wrath of farmers, unemployed youth, contract defence workers, etc.

Or not...

Even a man as devoted to #HinduRashtra as Vajpayee discerned Modi's nature and wasn't shy of alluding to it in public.

There's no one in India, or elsewhere, who have cause to celebrate today. Not even the #CheetahIsBack animals. They were probably safer in Africa.

#XiJinping is terrified of Modi. Will do anything to avoid his wrath: squatting in Ladakh, wandering in & out of Arunachal Pradesh & Uttarakhand, exporting record Chinese goods to India, backing Pakistan.

Modi wins all wars, also this 21 day war vs Coronavirus in March 2020:

In 2016, an "emotional" Modi claimed Demonetization would destroy black money, terrorism & counterfeit notes, begged for 50 days after which he'd come to a road junction to accept any punishment Indians impose for its failures.

He's avoided junctions like the plague ever since.

Modi's insatiable hunger for votes occupies most of his time. India is grateful - imagine if he instead spent all of it ruining governance.

He does go overboard now & then. Like in Nagaland today he invented a festival he claims he'll never forget:

The Horny Bell Festival.

#TejasviSurya gushed #ModiHaiTohMumkinHai over polyglot Narendra Modi's Kannada pronunciations, even "difficult lines" from poems.

Modi promptly went to Belagavi, Karnataka & spoke about Maharaja Adiyar & Filled Marshall K M Caribappa.

Tejasvi's ಪಾದ, meet Tejasvi's ಬಾಯಿ.

The torrid love affair between Narendra Modi & Camera sizzles while @AlboMP dutifully engages with the crowd (not knowing that BJP bought 80,000 tickets & packed the stadium with zombies).

This political life-long romance, conducted in public, shows no sign of cooling off.