Thread by @HNIJohnMiller

1) The Last Jedi, like Avengers: Infinity War, is one of those rare movies that I've come to hate the more I think about them. I hate them as I notice the glaring bullshit, and that hate compounds when I realize that I felt basically tricked into liking those movies.

https://twitter.com/unseen1_unseen/status/1047214899309502466

2) Let's start with the Last Jedi. When I first watched it, I laughed, because I thought the whole subverting expectations shtick they were doing was great. The heroes keep fucking up and can't do anything right, the villains were villainous, competent, and cunning

3) I mean, hell, like Empire Strikes Back, the bad guys WON. The resistance went from 3 capital ships to one old ass fucking smuggling ship with a fraction of the resources and manpower they had at the beginning of the movie. Rey wasn't the daughter of Luke like had been hinted.

4) Then, the plot holes and contrived bullshit starts to tear its way to the front of my mind. Ok, so Rey wasn't the daughter of Luke. So who's kid was she? Oh, some drunk nameless fucks that abandoned her? Mmmmkay.... but force power is HEREDITARY. See: THE FUCKING SKYWALKER FAM

5) Ok, so the heroes kept fucking up. But... they lived anyways and were happy and feeling victorious at the end of the movie, as if nothing bad had happened, like, idk, ALMOST EVERYONE ELSE BEING FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE OF THEIR FUCKUPS.

6) The ONE actual lightsaber battle we got in the movie? Awesome. Even with the choreography fuckups, awesome. Buuuuuut pointless, except to kill a bunch of faceless mooks for which there was NO explanation of who or what they were.

7) Basically, the entire thing felt like a whole bunch of admittedly beautiful visual effects painted over.... bullshit. I'm sorry, but "Russian trolls" didn't make an entire arc of the plot on evil rich dude planet be an utterly pointless display of why the fuck did that matter?

8) Russian trolls did not make the scriptwriters take the fan theory of Rey being Luke's daughter and replacing it with NOTHING rather than with something fucking AWESOME like her being a super secret granddaughter or clone of Palpatine. Imagine how fucking EPIC that would be

9) "Oh, you grew up on this backwater ass desert planet? Oh, no one remembers where you came from? Oh, that star destroyer crashed here exactly as many years ago as your age? HMMMMMMMMMMM"

10) Instead the movie was a whole heap of FUCKING NOTHING painted over with the cool effect of lasers hitting white powder and turning it red (definitely the home planet of Cocaine Mitch now that I think about it) and a ship crashing into the other at near-hyperspace speed or w/e

11) Then, Infinity War, Disneys OTHER fuckup of the summer.

Let's completely waste Peter Dinklage on a height joke to subvert your expectations! Ahahaha!

12) Let's just move around from set piece to set piece nonsensically and have a fight on Titan for some vague contrived reason! Ahahahaha!

13) Want to know why Ant-Man and Wasp didn't get any fucking attention?

It wasn't Russian trolls.

It was just people saw Infinity War and though, 'well why the fuck should i bother watching anything else if this will all just get reset by the next Avengers movie?'

14) "Oh ho ho ho, but you got to see awesome fight scenes!"

Yeah, fuck you Disney. Do you want to see awesome fight scenes?



Fucking Rooster Teeth has been making awesome fight scenes for YEARS at a fraction of the cost of Disney's movies.

15) Taking some reversed engineered CGI, the team at Rooster Teeth has been creating fights that put a lot of the Marvel movies, especially infinity wars, to fucking SHAME, and without any contrived bullshit plot excuses to make the fights happen.

16) "Oh no, Wakanda is doomed! Open the super bullshit OP shield that apparently doesn't extend all the way around, and whatever you do DO NOT take advantage of the fucking epic super advanced airforce that featured so heavily in the last movie!"

17) Honestly? I'm not sure if I'm going to see ANY Marvel movies again. They're pretty much the same safe cookie cutter formula each and every time, Guardians of the Galaxy at least was trying something DIFFERENT, before the whole James Gunn Twitter shitshow.

18) Probably not any Disney movies, period. Not until I know I'm not about to walk into a bait and switch that's painted pretty or another cookie cutter plot with nice visual effects.

/end