Some old wise guy said:
"Life is like a shit sandwich... the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat".
Sayings like that, serve as the universal bidet of life.
"Life is like a shit sandwich... the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat".
Sayings like that, serve as the universal bidet of life.
And how is this sort of effervescent wisdom obtained? Why, by the ancient method of Excremental Meditation, of course. (2)
"Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one, and most of them stink".
Observing such hard-won wisdom, we begin to long for the bidet. Can it be that there is that rare individual whose asshole does NOT stink? (3)
Observing such hard-won wisdom, we begin to long for the bidet. Can it be that there is that rare individual whose asshole does NOT stink? (3)
Statistically speaking, it is inevitable that such must be the case. And the introduction of the bidet, and its habitual and regular use, is one way to reach the worthy goal of anal cleanliness. (4)
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085414569177219072
As we flail our way through life, again and again stepping in shit in spite of our best efforts of avoidance, we must ask this basic question:
Is it really all about shit, or is it about how life would be without shit, the stink, the flies and the mess? (5)
Is it really all about shit, or is it about how life would be without shit, the stink, the flies and the mess? (5)
Seeing though that shit is ubiquitous, and that every living thing produces shit as an inevitable by-product of being alive, it eventually dawns that there must be a way of coping with shit; a way of Being... (6)
A way of living, which takes shit into account, but does not require the ingestion of it, bathing in it, or getting shit-on every day, yea, even unto several times per day. (7)
"You will shit, if you eat enough."
So is the *remedy* for shit, to stop eating? If so, it is also the remedy for everything else which ails us. But this seems rather drastic, does it not? (8)
So is the *remedy* for shit, to stop eating? If so, it is also the remedy for everything else which ails us. But this seems rather drastic, does it not? (8)
For one, shit is not so bad. It is not as bad as say... nuclear radioactive contamination. It is not as bad as the coalition of Sanghis, whose toxicity and stench has reached new and formerly unreachable proportions. (9)
Amazingly, it is common enough to observe the common, unschooled human Being, to walk around absolutely smeared with shit; for as JR "BOB" Dobbs has said:
"Act like a dumbshit, and they will treat you like an equal". (10)
"Act like a dumbshit, and they will treat you like an equal". (10)
Indeed. A protective layer of shit, covering the entire body but especially the head, seems to be the universal key of entry to the 'human condition', that special social approval which *proves* that one does NOT consider themselves 'above or superior to others'. (11)
Yes, smeared with shit, one may blithely circulate among human society, without fear of being tarred and feathered for the imagined sin of being 'different'. (12)
But I speak not of generic shit; one must take care to apply only SPECIAL shit, such as Catholic shit, Hindu shit, or New Age shit. (13)
Upon entry to the portals of one or another sacred temple, one must bow down and receive a good, thorough smearing of that special, specific shit which does not smell or appear different than the shit worn by confirmed members of the given congregation. (14)
To neglect this vital step of fecal surrender is to risk the worst social opprobrium:
"This man who has entered our church smells like shit! Off with his head!"
"Yes, Reverend Bowel! He must be converted, or he is in deep shit!" (15)
"This man who has entered our church smells like shit! Off with his head!"
"Yes, Reverend Bowel! He must be converted, or he is in deep shit!" (15)
And thus it is, with every 'movement'. One either takes 'communion' with the masses, or one becomes subject to *excre-munication*, the sort of painful 'elimination' to which heretics and witches have been subject to over the painful ages of historical shit... (16)
Thus ends Excremental Meditation: The Art and Science: Part 1
[to be continued, after dinner] (17/17)
[to be continued, after dinner] (17/17)
Coping With Shit: The Art And Science of Excremental Meditation Part I Revealed (thread)
1. And some old wise ass quickly shat back:
"The more shit you eat, the less need you have for bread."
1. And some old wise ass quickly shat back:
"The more shit you eat, the less need you have for bread."
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085413477106311172
2. So, just like most other shit, you can look at shit one way or another, depending on your point of view. The best vantage to have, of course, is the view in which there is no point from which to view.
3. In other words, you have to be willing to drop all your shit.
Not necessarily on somebody else, however. Although that does happen occasionally. And in some cases, it even happens more often than not.
Not necessarily on somebody else, however. Although that does happen occasionally. And in some cases, it even happens more often than not.
4. And why is that? It's because the vast majority of opinions are complete bullshit. And if you think that your shit doesn't stink, that's just another one of those opinions.
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085414569177219072
Some people seem to think that Jesus' asshole didn't stink and if you say Mohammad's asshole stank, you'd better hire a few body guards.
Now, of course the Buddha's asshole didn't stink simply because he didn't have one. Let's face it, he was very zen. [5/]
Now, of course the Buddha's asshole didn't stink simply because he didn't have one. Let's face it, he was very zen. [5/]
What about God's asshole. Does it stink?
Especially if there is no one around to smell it?
Now this is a question that has perplexed scientists and philosophers for centuries. [6/]
Especially if there is no one around to smell it?
Now this is a question that has perplexed scientists and philosophers for centuries. [6/]
Wittgenstein's now famous remark, "Whereof one cannot smell, thereof one must be silent" kinda put a damper on any subsequent discussion.
Of course, as Karl Popper was more than quick to point out, Wittgenstein's maxim made no mention of the silent fart. [7/]
Of course, as Karl Popper was more than quick to point out, Wittgenstein's maxim made no mention of the silent fart. [7/]
As any snot-nosed, skid-marked underwear wearing schoolkid knows, anal cleanliness is next to anal Godliness. [8/]
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085414821439463424
As Socrates said, "The unexamined turd is not worth shitting."
And frankly, I think he was right. [9/]
And frankly, I think he was right. [9/]
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085415043141902336
This is a universal law, much like the law of impermanence and the law of order.
It's been updated in recent years and is now simply referred to as GIGO (garbage in, garbage out). [10/]
It's been updated in recent years and is now simply referred to as GIGO (garbage in, garbage out). [10/]
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085415974168379393
OK folks, let's leave it here for a bit.
I have to go, yes you've guessed it.
I have to go take a shit.
I have to go, yes you've guessed it.
I have to go take a shit.
Don't go anywhere.
I'll be back in a few minutes to talk about that most ancient of all spiritual traditions, The Way of Excrement.
Otherwise known as the Shit Filled Path.
Be right back................
I'll be back in a few minutes to talk about that most ancient of all spiritual traditions, The Way of Excrement.
Otherwise known as the Shit Filled Path.
Be right back................
Ahhhhhh, where were we?
"You will shit, if you eat enough."
I'm tellin' ya, this shit WORKS!
Every fucking time!
Try it.
Test it out in your own experience.
Just because it's true for me, doesn't necessarily mean it's true for you. [/11]
"You will shit, if you eat enough."
I'm tellin' ya, this shit WORKS!
Every fucking time!
Try it.
Test it out in your own experience.
Just because it's true for me, doesn't necessarily mean it's true for you. [/11]
Just sitting around speculating whether or not I will shit after I eat enough, will do NOTHING for your OWN realization of the universal law. [/12]
At the same time, will you be REALLY satisfied merely BELIEVING that "I have eaten and therefore I have shat?"
Do you merely want to be...ugh!!...a True Believer?
And NOT shit things out for YOURSELF??? [/13]
Do you merely want to be...ugh!!...a True Believer?
And NOT shit things out for YOURSELF??? [/13]
Wake up & get on that "throne."
Yeah, take your own shits, folks
I can't do it for you
And I won't
Not anymore than Gautama Buddha can instinctively recognize the emptiness of all dharmas for you, or anymore than the Tathagata himself can attain the Other Shore for you. [14/]
Yeah, take your own shits, folks
I can't do it for you
And I won't
Not anymore than Gautama Buddha can instinctively recognize the emptiness of all dharmas for you, or anymore than the Tathagata himself can attain the Other Shore for you. [14/]
Not anymore than Jesus can save you.
Oh wait. I don't want to get into all that salvation shit.
Cancel. Cancel. [15/]
Oh wait. I don't want to get into all that salvation shit.
Cancel. Cancel. [15/]
Not anymore than Werner Erhard can tell you, "You're an asshole" for you.
Not anymore than Byron Katie can "turn that around" for you.
Not anymore than Eckhart Tolle can be in the NOW for you. [16/]
Not anymore than Byron Katie can "turn that around" for you.
Not anymore than Eckhart Tolle can be in the NOW for you. [16/]
Not anymore than Nisargadatta Maharaj can say "I Am That" for you, or anymore than Ramana Maharshi can realize the Self for you.
Not anymore than Anamika Devi can "get it" that Nothing Ever Happened for you,
No folks you gotta do this shit on your OWN, motherfuckers. [17/]
Not anymore than Anamika Devi can "get it" that Nothing Ever Happened for you,
No folks you gotta do this shit on your OWN, motherfuckers. [17/]
Hey, fuck that shit.
I'm EATING, muthafuckas.
I don't know about YOU! [18/]
I'm EATING, muthafuckas.
I don't know about YOU! [18/]
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085415974168379393
NOTHING is as bad as the Sanghi motherfuckers.
Chernobyl was just a drop in the thunderbox compared to those toxic wastes. [19/]
Chernobyl was just a drop in the thunderbox compared to those toxic wastes. [19/]
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085416376196571137
All men are created equal indeed.
And a few women as well.
Here and there. [20/]
And a few women as well.
Here and there. [20/]
"Thou Must Not Be Different" was actually written in stone before Moses dropped that other tablet, smashing the shit out of it.
But that's OK. The Thirteenth Commandment is written in stone in the hearts and minds of assholes everywhere. [21/]
But that's OK. The Thirteenth Commandment is written in stone in the hearts and minds of assholes everywhere. [21/]
Hey, our shit is stuff, your stuff is shit. [22/]
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085418632233058307
All Shit Is Equal And Even: There Is No Special Shit*
*Except maybe pure Advaita shit, but we'll deal with that later.
*Except maybe pure Advaita shit, but we'll deal with that later.
Well shat?
This is really good shit and certainly provides a lot of food for thought.
This is really good shit and certainly provides a lot of food for thought.
https://twitter.com/AnaMyID/status/1085419972619366400
But, if we eat, shit, will we then defecate food?
This and other shitty questions that have been raised by this excremental exegesis will be addressed in subsequent bursts of ca-ca and crappy ordures.
This and other shitty questions that have been raised by this excremental exegesis will be addressed in subsequent bursts of ca-ca and crappy ordures.
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